The Calvin and Hobbes Show: Season One
by NMMacc18
Summary: Ever wondered what a Calvin and Hobbes TV Show would be like? Well look no further! Explore the various adventures (and mis-adventures) of everyone's favorite six-year old and anthropomorphic tiger and all their friends (or enemies). COMPLETE!
1. Info

**I have rose from the dead (writing wise) I've been on the site, just not writing, but I'm back!**

 **Ever wondered what a Calvin and Hobbes TV Show would be like? I've wondered the same thing, and I've decided to make my own, fanfiction version, sort of like Calvin and Hobbes: The Series by Swing123 and Garfieldodie.**

 **So with further ado, I present to you, The Calvin and Hobbes Show.**

 **This isn't something I just pulled right out of my head, I actually originally created The Calvin and Hobbes Show on the Calvin and Hobbes Fanon Wiki (Which you should totally join). As you may have noticed, JaJaLoo began to write Season One on here, but he stopped it and his starting on writing another show from the fanon wiki on here.**

 **So I have decided to write it here, except I won't exactly be taking episodes straight from the wiki, some I'll be taking certain parts and incorporating them into original pieces written by me, but it will vary episode from episode.**

 **This show would be traditionally animated, and would air on Nick, since I've always seen Calvin and Hobbes as a show that was "Nick-sh"**

 **Also, the show takes place in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, where Bill Watterson lived while he wrote Calvin and Hobbes.**

* * *

 **Cast: (Partially done by Me, Others done by JaJaLoo)**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Miss Wormwood: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 **Rosalyn: Leslie Bibb**

* * *

 **Oh yeah, there's two characters that I've added that weren't apart of the original comic strip, they appear as recurring characters for now.**

 **The Superintendent: Dennis Quaid**

 **Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood**

* * *

 **Oh yeah, here's a really bad theme song that I came up with:**

 **C'mon here we go its time for the show.**

 **Because its The Calvin and Hobbes Show!**

 **Its a show about a kid and a tiger.**

 **With a knack for some adventure!**

 **Calvin causes chaos at every turn,**

 **While Hobbes is pouncing every chance he gets!**

 **Go! Go! Go! Go!**

 **Here we go!**

 **Go! Go! Go! Go!**

 **Here we go!**

 **It's The Calvin and Hobbes Show!**

 **Yeah!**

 **(Yes I know it stinks)**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 1A: From Wrecking to Hunting**


	2. 1A: From Wrecking to Hunting

_**From Wrecking to Hunting -**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

 **Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, The Calvin and Hobbes Show is set in another universe than my other C &H fics.**

* * *

 **Plot: After wrecking on another wagon ride, Calvin and Hobbes find a treasure map, and attempt to find the treasure.**

* * *

The sun was just beginning to rise on another peaceful Saturday in Chagrin Falls, Ohio.

Except, the day was going to be anything from peaceful momentarily.

Calvin yawned as he woke up, noticing the sun was just barely rising, and looked at his clock.

"Alright! 6:02! A new record!" Calvin said proud.

"Ugh, morning already? Can't I sleep in for once?" Hobbes said grumbling as he woke up.

"There's no time! It's SATURDAY!" Calvin said as he ran downstairs, Hobbes groaned.

For the next three hours, Calvin binge-watched Saturday Morning Cartoons with numerous bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, while Hobbes decided to just have some toast to eat.

"Hey Calvin, while you've been watching TV all morning, I've been productive and accomplished many things since I woke up at 6:30 this morning!" Calvin's Dad said proud of himself.

"I've been up longer, I've been up since 6:02." Calvin said in defense.

"But I've been productive, and you can to." Calvin's Dad said.

"How?"

"Well you see, we're getting the house looked at today so we want you to-"

"Alright, I'm going." Calvin said as he went outside.

"I'm impressed, your parents didn't even have to toss you out the door that time." Hobbes remarked as Calvin grabbed the wagon and they went searching for a place to ride.

Eventually, they reached "Treacherous Tops".

"Ready to go down "Treacherous Tops" Hobbes?" Calvin asked to Hobbes.

"Sure, I'm always ready to get nearly killed..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"OFF WE GO!"

"LOOK OUT FOR THE TREE!"

"I CAN SEE FURBALL!

"LOOK OUT FOR THE ROCK!"

"IT WASN'T THAT BIG!"

"IT WENT UP TO YOUR HEAD!"

"LOOK OUT FOR THAT BRANCH!"

"I'M NOT BLIND!"

"LOOK OUT FOR THE CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

Calvin and Hobbes crashed and were laying on the ground moaning.

"My head..." Hobbes said groaning.

Calvin eventually got up, and then saw a piece of paper.

"Hey Hobbes! Come look at this!" Calvin said in excitement.

"What is it?" Hobbes asked.

"It's a treasure map!" Calvin said, jumping up and down in excitement.

"It looks kinda fake..." Hobbes said as he observed it, realizing that it looked like it was hand-drawn and art supplies.

However, Calvin thought otherwise.

"Nonsense Hobbes! A treasure map is a treasure map! So we need to find it!" Calvin said overconfident in himself and began to start searching, going in the direction that the treasure map directed him in.

Hobbes sighed, and began to follow Calvin.

After about a half and hour of walking, Hobbes was starting to believe that he was right about the treasure map was fake.

"I'm pretty sure that you've been mislead Calvin, there's no way that thing is real." Hobbes said.

"Oh relax Hobbes, we're almost three quarters of the way there! The only thing I would worry about is the potential of-"

 ** _GROWL_**

"What was THAT?!" Hobbes said shocked.

"BEARS! RUN FOR IT!" Calvin yelled as he made a run for it, with Hobbes following along due to the fact that there was indeed, a bear chasing them.

"OH MAN OH MAN! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Calvin yelled in panic as he and Hobbes continued to run. They both ended up tripping on a branch and fell down a little cliff that was covered with leaves. The bear became confused and left.

"And you said to relax..." Hobbes said slightly annoyed at Calvin.

"Well, I didn't think their would actually be bears!" Calvin said in his defense.

"Well I mean seriously, do you not get the fact that we've basically wasted our time hunting for this 'treasure'! Its not like that the "X" is right under my feet!" Hobbes said as he raised up his feet.

"See! No-"

"THERE'S THE "X" HOBBES!" Calvin said excited.

"Oh great..." Hobbes said grumbling.

"Well don't just stand there! Start digging! Use your claws!" Calvin said.

Hobbes grumbled as he dug, though he was surprised when there was a treasure chest.

Calvin opened it, and both he and Hobbes were surprised of the amount of gold, jewelry, and gems inside the chest.

"Forget everything I said throughout this hunt..." Hobbes said in amazement.

"Well Hobbes, we're going to be bazillionares ol' pal." Calvin said pleased.

"How do you know that its worth that much?" Hobbes asked.

"Because, I'm a genius at determining how much stuff is. But more importantly, we'll be the richest people on earth! We'll be able to buy ANYTHING! We'll buy our own mansion, we'll buy a Ferrari, we'll buy the entire country! We-"

"Hold on there for a sec, we need to go to a jeweler before we go on a shopping spree." Hobbes said cutting off Calvin.

"Oh yeah. Oh well, off to the jeweler!" Calvin said as he started to pick up the chest, and Hobbes helped them as they began to head off.

Soon, they reached the Gold Shop, where there happened to be a professional jeweler working.

"How can I help you the-oh my..." The Jeweler said in surprise as Calvin and Hobbes shoved the chest onto the desk.

"See how much money we can make off of the goods in here pal." Calvin said.

The Jeweler opened up the chest and looked at everything in it for a moment, and started laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?!" Calvin asked.

"Kid, your crazy if you thought that was all real, its all fake!" The Jeweler said as he continued to laugh.

"Uh oh..." Hobbes said as he grabbed the chest and ran out the door, preparing for an outburst.

What followed was a long, "beautiful" rant delivered by Calvin.

And no, we aren't repeating it, lets just say Calvin has some colorful language, and his rant broke some windows as well.

Meanwhile back at Calvin's house, Calvin's Mom was cooking dinner, while Calvin's Dad was reading the newspaper.

 ** _SLAM!_**

"Calvin?" Calvin's Parents said confused.

"This is a total outrage! I wasted a good chunk of my Saturday searching for a treasure chest, and it was a phony! I've never been so insulted in my entire life! I'll take this to Judge Judy if I have to! I'm going to find that loon who made it, and they will pay big time!" Calvin said as he continued to rant as he went up to his room.

Calvin's Parents looked at each other and sighed.

"I knew it was a matter of time until someone found that fake treasure me and my buddies made in High School..." Calvin's Dad said sighing.

Later that night, Calvin was still grumbling in bed.

"Well, on the bright side, we had fun while doing it, right?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

Calvin thought for a moment, and then realized something.

"Yeah, your right, its just like going on one of our other adventures and nothing comes out of it."

"But you got to admit, I was right all along." Hobbes said grinning.

"Shut up." Calvin said annoyed.

"So what are you going to do with that chest we got now?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin thought for a moment, and grinned evilly.

"Uh-oh..." Hobbes muttered, as Calvin began to go on about the perfect G.R.O.S.S. plan for it.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 ** _Special Guest Star:_**

 ** _The Jeweler: Tom Hanks_ **

* * *

**Next Episode: 1A: Calvin: The Movie**


	3. 1B: Calvin: The Movie

_**Calvin: The Movie -**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin decides to make a movie depicting his "greatness and awesomeness."**

* * *

Calvin was sitting at his desk, scribbling down something on sheets of paper.

"What's up? You doing homework for once? Really?" Hobbes said somewhat surprised.

"No you moron, I'm writing a movie script." Calvin said annoyed.

"A movie script for what?" Hobbes asked curiously.

"My life story!" Calvin said proudly.

"Your life story?! Your six years old!" Hobbes said annoyed.

"Well, I shouldn't say that it's my life story, it's more a film that depicts my greatness and awesomeness, then I will be the richest man alive!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Let me see the script, I want to see this." Hobbes said as he grabbed the script and began to read it, and was dumbfounded at what he saw.

 **Calvin: The Movie. Scene 1**

 **Opens to awesome music with all the opening credits. Cuts to Calvin the Bold fighting the evil moron Moe. Calvin simply looks at Moe and he falls into Susie Derkins, and falls into a pit of lava...**

"This is stupid! There is no way someone dumb as you could make and direct this film, let alone get anyone to play any person!" Hobbes said as he threw the script back at Calvin, surprised at how stupid the film was.

"I got someone that's helping me get this work of art going." Calvin said over confidently.

"Who, Susie?" Hobbes asked jokingly.

"NO YOU DOLT! I'M NOT HAVING ONE OF THE VILLAINS IN MY FILM MAKE IT!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Then who?" Hobbes asked.

"Its-"

 _ **DING DONG**_

"It's him!" Calvin said excitedly as he ran downstairs.

"Who?" Hobbes asked as he followed Calvin downstairs.

Calvin opened the door, and a man was at a door.

"Hi, I'm movie genius Michael Bay, I'm looking for a person named Calvin." The man said.

"That would be me." Calvin said proudly.

"Nice to meet you man. You got the script?" Michael Bay said.

"Yep! Here you go!" Calvin said as he handed the script to Michael Bay.

"Great, I'll look through it and I'll be back soon so we can get this movie made." Michael Bay said before leaving.

"YOU HIRED MICHAEL BAY?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" Hobbes said in complete annoyance.

"No, he's the greatest director ever." Calvin said in defense.

"No, no, no. He is the WORST director ever. He'll ruin your film." Hobbes said trying to make a point to Calvin.

"Your just jealous because he's smarter than you." Calvin said back.

"He ruined Transformers and TMNT! Are you sure you want him?" Hobbes said as he tried to get Calvin to change his mind.

"Your dumb, he made Transformers better." Calvin said.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the rest of the Transformers fan base would disagree with you." Hobbes said.

"They just have no taste, that's all." Calvin said, trying to prove was right.

Hobbes sighed, knowing that there was no way that Calvin would listen to him.

 _ **The next day at Michael Bay's Office...**_

"So I looked through your script, looks pretty good, but I made some changes to it that I think you'll like." Michael Bay said as he tossed the script to Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin grabbed it and read through it.

"Hey! This looks great!" Calvin said, who took a liking to the changes Michael Bay made.

"Let me see that" Hobbes said as he grabbed it and read it. Lets just say he wasn't impressed at all.

"This is moronic! This is the most unrealistic thing I have ever read! I can't believe that this clown is giving another clown a movie that he doesn't even need, and makes himself look good when he actually isn't!" Hobbes said annoyed.

Calvin didn't take kindly to Hobbes' comment about his film, and grabbed the intercom.

"SECURITY! THERE'S A HYPOCRITICAL TIGER IN HERE! GET HIM OUT!" Calvin yelled over the intercom.

Two Security guards came and grabbed Hobbes and threw him out of the building.

"Idiots..." Hobbes said grumbling.

"So when can we start filming this beauty?" Calvin asked curiously.

"We can tomorrow, I've managed to get a whole cast to sign on, so we can start filming this work of art tomorrow!" Michael Bay said excitedly.

"Great! See ya tomorrow!" Calvin said as he began to leave, but came right back in.

"Oh yeah, I'm playing myself, and I'm doing all my stunts." Calvin said as he came back in.

"Sounds good." Michael Bay said.

"But first, let's see the cast. I don't want lame TV show actors in my film." Calvin said.

Michael Bay pulled up a cast sheet from his desk.

"Okay, so we've got Amy Poehler signed on to play Susie, and David Cross as Moe."

"Never heard of them, but I'd rather have them as stunt doubles for Susie and Moe, because I want to torture the real Susie and Moe myself." Calvin said.

"I'll call them up right now." Michael Bay said as he grabbed his phone.

"Great! See ya!" Calvin said as he left.

 ** _The next day at the movie set..._**

"Wow! This looks great! This is going to be the best movie ever!" Calvin said excitedly.

"You mean the biggest flop ever." Hobbes said, still believing that the film would fail.

"Shut up." Calvin said back.

"Hey Calvin! Ready to start filming?"

"You bet!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Alright! Positions! Quiet on the set! Ready, ACTION!" Michael Bay said from his director's chair as the camera began to roll.

"Hello, my name is Calvin. Calvin the Bold to be exact. Call me that, or else. Now, I bet you want to hear a story. Very well, then. This all started when I was fighting Moe whatever his last name is, AKA Dumb-Butt Moe whatever,and Susie Derkins,or should I say DORKins?" Calvin said to the camera.

"CUT! Calvin, that line was brilliant." Michael Bay said pleased.

"Thank you, thank you. No autographs please." Calvin said proudly.

"We weren't planning on giving you any." David Cross said annoyed.

"Shut up, David Cross, no one cares about you!" Calvin said right back at him.

"Alright, we can work out your differences, just get in position for the next scene. Calvin's bedroom. Ready? Action!" Michael Bay said as they began filming in Calvin's bedroom that was made for filming.

"Ah, another relaxing day reading comic books!" Calvin said just as Susie and Moe entered the room.

"Not so fast!" Susie said.

"We're here to destroy you once and for all!" Moe said.

"To a bloody pulp!" Susie added in.

"Susie and Moe! My two worst enemies!" Calvin said shocked.

"Destroy him!" Moe said as he and Susie came after Calvin.

Calvin grabbed a Nerf gun and shot Susie out the window, but Susie hit Amy Poehler when she flew out the window and they both fell into a pool of water with stingrays in them.

"You won't get past me twinky!" Moe said as he came after Calvin.

But Calvin grabbed a baseball bat and bet up Moe with it, and then hit Moe out the window as well, but David Cross was there, so they both fell into the pool of water with stingrays with Susie and Amy Poehler.

"I told him we weren't stunt-doubles..." Amy Poehler grumbled.

"Ha! Serves you right!" Calvin said triumphantly

"CUT! Excellent again." Michael Bay said.

Since Calvin wanted a quick release, they filmed the whole film in one day, and after various more scenes of Calvin torturing others, explosions, and everything else you'd probably see in a film made by Michael Bay, they finished.

"Alright, it's a wrap! See you at the premiere!" Michael Bay said.

 ** _One week later..._**

At the local move theater, Calvin's family, Susie, Moe, Amy Poehler, and David Cross all showed up and walked down the red carpet.

"Welcome, all of you!" Michael Bay said.

I just hope this is a good movie, considering all the torture Calvin caused for us." Susie said.

"It will." Michael Bay said reassuringly.

"I think it'll flop." Hobbes muttered, but Calvin heard it and elbowed him.

"Little Twinky's torture film better be good, or else he'll get a walloping of a lifetime at school." Moe grumbled.

"This is so exciting! Our own son making a movie. Calvin, I knew you would do something that was good." Calvin's Mom said excitingly.

"Yeah, making movies builds character!" Calvin's Dad said in agreement.

"Do you have to say that at the premiere?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Fine, I won't say it..." Calvin's Dad said mumbling.

"Let's go inside." Michael Bay said as he led everyone inside.

"How come we couldn't have the premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood?" Calvin asked.

"Oh! Uh, well you see, I'm hated in Hollywood, and they refused to screen the movie there." Michael Bay said.

"Philistines." Calvin grumbled.

"But don't worry! Tons of people are here, including several famous movie critics!" Michael Bay said.

"Great!" Calvin said as they went inside the theater the film was going to be screened in.

So the film started, and many people were booing and saying how bad the film was, some people even fell asleep by the time the film was over.

"Oh, thank gosh that's over." An audience member said relieved.

The next day, Calvin was on the family computer.

"What's up?" Hobbes asked as he came in.

"I'm looking up how good Calvin: The Movie did on Rotten Tomatoes." Calvin said as he pulled up the website, and looked at the film, and he was shocked at what he saw.

"No way!" Calvin said shocked.

"What is it?" Hobbes asked.

"-18% based on 50 reviews! How is that even possible?!" Calvin said shocked and annoyed.

"HA! I knew it!"

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"I mean, that's terrible! What will you do?" Hobbes said trying to feel sorry for Calvin.

"Start writing the sequel!" Calvin said as he ran out of the room.

"When will he learn..." Hobbes sighed, knowing that Calvin would never listen to anyone.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 ** _Special Guest Stars:_**

 ** _Michael Bay as Himself_**

 ** _Amy Poehler as Herself_**

 ** _David Cross as Himself_**

* * *

 **Next episode: 2A: The Superintendent-The Superintendent of the district visits Calvin's school.**


	4. 2A: The Superintendent

**Sorry for the long delay, I got busy with school and other stuff, then I had finals, but now I'm done with all of those, and now new episodes will be released more frequently. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **The Superintendent-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: The Superintendent of the district visits Calvin's School**

* * *

 _ **RING**_

"Huh? What?" Principal Spittle said as he woke up, realizing the phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

"Ah! Spittle! Glad you picked up!" A voice boomed into the phone.

Principal Spittle groaned quietly to himself.

It was the Superintendent.

"Ah! Mr. Superintendent! What can I do for you?" Principal Spittle said slightly nervous.

"Well you see Spittle, I was looking through all the schools I am in charge of, and I noticed that your school has a staggering amount of incident reports, building damage reports, among other things..." The Superintendent said.

"Well you see-"

"And I also noticed that one of the biggest files in the entire district is from a first grader that attends your school named Calvin."

"Well yes, that's probably because most of that is because of Calvin, and simply due to the fact he is quite chaotic..." Principal Spittle said trying to explain.

"Say, wasn't he the Noodle Incident kid?" The Superintendent added.

"Yes..." Principal Spittle said sighing.

"Well anyway, I've decided that I will visit your school tomorrow. See you then!" The Superintendent said as he hung up.

"Oh crud! How can I go a whole day without Calvin causing problems?!" Principal Spittle said as he began to panic. He looked at the time and realized it was almost midnight.

"Maybe I should get some sleep, that might help me think of something..." Principal Spittle said exhausted as he went to his bedroom to go to sleep.

 _ **The next morning...**_

Principal Spittle woke up to hear his alarm clock beeping. He turned off the alarm as he did every morning, and got up.

But he was in for a rude awakening when he looked at his alarm clock.

"7:45?! I'M DONE FOR!" Principal Spittle said panicked as he rushed to get dressed and ran to his car, and pulled out of his driveway, and slammed on the gas.

He was making good time, and it seemed he would get to school before class started for the day, but then he got stuck behind one of the school buses, which slowed him down.

However, Calvin was on that bus, and he took notice.

Calvin was sitting in the very back of the bus, because he was planning his latest prank, involving eggs and water balloons.

"Why does that guy behind us look so familiar?" Calvin said as he looked to see Principal Spittle driving his car.

"Why, if it isn't the Principal...That gives me a great idea!" Calvin said as he laughed evilly to himself.

And what Calvin did next, is considered highly dangerous, and should not repeated. So in other words, don't try this at home kids.

Calvin opened the emergency exit slightly so nobody would notice, then he tossed two eggs out the and it hit Principal Spittle's windshield.

Nobody noticed, except Principal Spittle of course.

"ARRGGGHHHH!" Principal Spittle said as he tried to use the windshield wipers to clean it off, and he was swerving out of control as well, and ended up doing a full 360 degree spin before stopping.

"Whoever. Did. That. Will. Get. Expelled." Principal Spittle said in fury as he slammed on the gas again to try and get to school on time.

Meanwhile, the Superintendent was at the school entrance greeting students that were coming in, but was slightly concerned.

"Where on earth is Spittle? He's usually here bright and early..." The Superintendent said to himself.

Then, he saw a school bus going way faster than it should be swerving out of control, and it crashed straight into the sign that said "Welcome to Bill Watterson Elementary School" with the bus driver and several kids running off screaming.

"What on earth happened?!" The Superintendent said as he ran up to the bus driver.

"SOME KID WITH SPIKY BLONDE HAIR CAME RIGHT UP TO ME ON A MOVING BUS AND HIT A WATER BALLOON AND AN EGG AT ME! IF I CAN GET THAT KID, I'LL-" The bus driver said in his tirade before being interrupted by Principal Spittle screeching into the parking lot, and running out.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Principal Spittle said as he ran up to the two.

"Well, it seems one of your insubordinate students attacked this bus driver here with an egg and a water balloon." The Superintendent said.

"Calvin..." Principal Spittle said under his breath.

"I say Spittle, you need to keep better track of your students. Especially the ones that cause trouble." The Superintendent said.

"Well you see-"

 _ **RIIIINGGGG**_

"Why don't we just go inside?" The Superintendent said as he began to walk inside.

So, Principal Spittle went inside, started the day off by reading the announcements, showing the Superintendent around, before he came across something that made him shocked.

One of the water fountains had been completely broken off, and had a note that said:

 _ **You need a better water fountain**_

 _ **Signed,**_

 _ **C:BOD**_

"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The Superintendent yelled.

"Well, you see..."

"Spittle! How did nobody catch this!? Haven't you've upgraded to security cameras yet?!"

"Well, sort of..." Principal Spittle said.

"What do you mean by 'sort of'?" The Superintendent asked suspiciously.

Principal Spittle led the Superintendent into a small security room. There were 9 monitors, and only 3 were working, and the ones that did work had a pretty fuzzy picture.

"Well why on earth don't your replace them?!" The Superintendent asked annoyed.

"Well, we've replaced them 15 times, and they kept on getting wrecked, so the faculty here decided to not to continue to waste our budget on security cameras, since we don't really have that many troublesome students here." Principal Spittle explained.

"Well obviously there's one troublesome student that keeps wrecking them all." The Superintendent said annoyed.

"Ya think?" Principal Spittle said under his breath.

"Well Spittle, I'm going to go around to all the classes and see if they meet my standards." The Superintendent said as he walked out.

So the Superintendent went around in no particular order and observed all the classes, and he was quite impressed at what he saw.

But then, he made it to Miss Wormwood's room, and the class was presenting things they brought in for show and tell. The Superintendent was impressed at what was brought in.

But then, Calvin came up with a water gun.

"For show and tell today, you MAY have thought I've brought in a wimpy ol' water gun. Or you may have thought I brought in my Transmogrifier Gun. Well guess what! It's neither of them!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"I don't think anybody thought that anyway Calvin." Miss Wormwood said, trying not to embarrass herself.

"So what I have here is a paint gun, and its anything BUT ordinary! I've modified this baby in strange and illegal ways-"

"I think that's enough we need to know Calvin." Miss Wormwood said trying to cut Calvin's presentation short, but Calvin was done yet.

"But I didn't even test it out yet! See?" Calvin said as he sprayed it.

It hit the Superintendent.

The next thing Calvin knew, he was being dragged to the Principal's office by the Superintendent.

Principal Spittle was quietly working in his office, and then, the Superintendent burst open the door.

"SPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The Superintendent boomed.

"What did he do this time?" Principal Spittle sighed.

"This student decided o use his water gun to spray me with PAINT!" The Superintendent said angrily.

"Well I warned you bub! But you didn't listen!" Calvin said annoyed.

"YOU DIDN'T GIVE A WARNING!" The Superintendent said furiously.

"Who is this guy anyway? Some wacko you hired off the streets? Which wouldn't surprise me honestly..." Calvin said.

"Calvin, if you think I hire teachers off the streets, then I think you need to see our faculty's resumes..." Principal Spittle said trying to ease up the situation.

"But this guy is overreacting like a maniac! What kind of teacher is this?!" Calvin said annoyed, trying to prove his point.

"Calvin, this 'wacko' is the Superintendent of our school district." Principal Spittle said calmly trying to explain it to Calvin.

"Oh, well he came in like he expected us to know who he is!" Calvin said, trying to prove that the Superintendent had issues.

"You see Calvin, the Superintendent is a very powerful person, so he can do pretty much anything he pleases." Principal Spittle said.

"So your saying he can rob banks and blow up Area 51 and not get in trouble for it?" Calvin asked curiously.

The Superintendent face palmed.

"Not exactly..." Principal Spittle said, trying to think of a simpler way to explain it to Calvin.

"So like a dictator?"

"Uh yeah, sure. But the thing is, he has the power to expel you from this school, and even this district, and that expulsion would follow you for a very long time, and if you want to grow up to be a..."

"Supreme Dictator of the US."

"...you wouldn't be able to because of that expulsion." Principal Spittle said calmly.

"Oh, well in that case, I promise I won't bug the Superintendent anymore, or at least for today." Calvin said in a tone that actually made him sound somewhat serious.

"Alright, I guess that's good enough. You may return back to class." Principal Spittle said, but Calvin was already out the door, and the Superintendent shut it.

"Well Spittle, I know I burst in with rage and fury, after everything I've seen from your classes, and how you've dealt with probably the most troublesome student I've ever seen...I have to say I'm quite impressed." The Superintendent said.

"Ah, well thank you Mr. Superintendent." Principal Spittle said.

 _ **RING**_

"Oh boy! Lunch! Race you there! Just like the old days Spittle when I was the Principal and you were a teacher here!" The Superintendent said as he ran out.

A few minutes later, the Superintendent and Principal Spittle were eating in the Teacher's Lounge with the rest of the faculty.

"Mmm, you've certainly improved the food here since I was Principal of this school Spittle." The Superintendent said as he topped of his meal.

"well you see, back in '79 when I first became Principal, one of the first things I did was-" Principal Spittle began to say before he was cut off.

"THERE'S A FOOD FIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA!" Susie came in covered with milk and beef stew.

"WHAT?! NO! I CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE FOOD FIGHT OF '78!" The Superintendent said as he ran out of the lounge, with Principal Spittle following him.

"What was the Food Fight of '78?" Susie asked to the teachers.

"Its a long story..." Miss Wormwood said sighing as she got up and left to see the commotion.

By the time the Superintendent and Principal Spittle made it to the cafeteria, they saw food flying, students running out of the cafeteria screaming, and the lunch ladies trying to stop the situation.

"What are we going to do Spittle?! There's no way we can restore order!" The Superintendent said worried.

"I have an idea..." Principal Spittle said as he ran into the kitchen, and went into the door that read "Authorized Personal Only."

He came back out from the kitchen a minute later with a very old megaphone.

"We still have that megaphone?" The Superintendent said surprised.

"Yep, but it hasn't been used in decades though..." Principal Spittle said.

"Well give it a try." The Superintendent said, and Principal Spittle spoke into it, and luckily it worked.

"STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!"

Much to Principal Spittle's surprise, everyone stopped and looked at him.

"Alright, now that I got everyone's attention, does anybody know who's responsible for this?!" Principal Spittle said, hoping somebody would know.

Immediately, everyone pointed toward Calvin.

"IT WASN'T ME! I WAS FRAMED! SUSIE DID IT! IT WAS MY DUPLICATE! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPREME COURT IF I HAVE TO!" Calvin yelled as he was dragged out of the cafeteria by Miss Wormwood.

"It surprises me Spittle how that kid hasn't driven you insane." The Superintendent said.

"Well, let's just say that-"

 ** _PLOP!_**

"-I've gotten used to it..." Principal Spittle said somewhat slow after some stew that had somehow got stuck on the ceiling fell on his head, the Superintendent had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't laugh.

"Well Spittle, it looks like our time together has come to an end today." The Superintendent began.

"But its not even 12 o'clock yet!"

"I know, but I have some other schools I need to visit today as well. You got the school in good hands Spittle, I'd just watch out for that Noodle Incident kid, but you should be fine. Goodbye!" The Superintendent said as he left the cafeteria.

"Well, back to work, and dealing with Calvin..." Principal Spittle said groaning as he left the cafeteria.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 **Miss Wormwood: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 ** _The Superintendent: Dennis Quaid_**

 ** _The Bus Driver: Adam Sandler_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 2B: Calvinopoly-Calvin and Hobbes get sucked into a board game Calvin created about himself.**


	5. 2B: Calvinopoly

**Calvinopoly-Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin and Hobbes get sucked into a board game Calvin created about himself.**

* * *

One day, Calvin was busy working on some strange object, he grabbed so many pieces of tape, scissors, his Dad's supply of board games, etc. to create some sort of thing.

After a couple hours of working, Calvin was finished.

"It is done. The greatest board game ever imagined. This is the most important moment in the history of history." Calvin said triumphantly as he looked at his creation.

"What are you bragging abo-oh my." Hobbes said as he walked in the room, surprised to see Calvin's room covered with various board games and objects.

"What is this?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Only the greatest board game ever created in the history of man-kind." Calvin said proudly.

"What's it called?" Hobbes asked curiously.

"Calvinopoly!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Of course it is." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

Suddenly, a circle on one of the board's started swirling.

"What's going on?" Hobbes asked worried.

"The game is turning on." Calvin said as if nothing was wrong.

"Turning on?!" Hobbes said confused.

"Well Hobbes, this isn't your ordinary board game, your actually in the game." Calvin explained to Hobbes.

"Your kidding right?" Hobbes said hoping Calvin was joking, but then the circle sucked Calvin and Hobbes into the game.

"Nope." Calvin said.

"Fantastic..." Hobbes said grumbling.

"Well Hobbes, its time to play a game of Calvinopoly!" Calvin said excited, trying to make Hobbes happy.

"This is not happening right now, this is just not happening..." Hobbes said trying to come to terms with what was happening.

"It's happening."

"Great..." Hobbes said annoyed.

Calvin and Hobbes walked around the game for a few minutes before Hobbes realized he didn't even know how to play Calvinopoly.

"So, how do you play this?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Well, with Dad's board game supply, I managed to grab three of the sets, and then build this. It features three stages. The first stage is where giant, lava breathing aliens attack you, and you have to find a useful weapon to kill them. After, you find someone, and he accompanies you to stages two and three." Calvin explained.

"Who is this 'someone'?" Hobbes asked suspiciously.

"You'll see!" Calvin said excitedly.

Suddenly, giant, lava breathing aliens burst out from one of the boards.

"What's happening right now?!" Hobbes said scared.

"Its the first stage! Giant lava-breathing aliens!" Calvin said excitedly.

"What do we do?! You're the creator! Do something!" Hobbes said panicked.

Then, Calvin pulled out his Transmogrifier Gun.

"Behold, the Transmogrifier Gun. It's a good thing I invented this. Otherwise we would've been toast!" Calvin said proudly.

But then, Calvin accidentally zapped the Transmogrifer Gun and Calvin and Hobbes became toast.

Literally.

"We are now toast, Calvin. Figuratively and literally." Hobbes said annoyed.

The lava aliens reached for Calvin and Hobbes, but luckily Calvin turned him and Hobbes back into humans before the aliens could get to them, and then he transmogrified the aliens into ants.

Hobbes stomped on the ants to make sure they didn't turn back into aliens.

"Well, that takes care of that. Onto the next stage!" Calvin said triumphantly as Hobbes followed him.

"So, how did you come up with this idea?" Hobbes asked curiously to Calvin.

"Well, I was at Target one day with Mom, and decided to look at the board games. They were all lame ones! Battleship, Candy Land, Monopoly, Twister, The Game of Life, all the basics. So it inspired me to make my own game combining all the games I mentioned, just not Twister or the Game of Life." Calvin explained.

"So you mean..." Hobbes said trying to figure out what Calvin was saying.

"Yes... Battleship and Candy Land are Stages 2 and 3." Calvin said as if Hobbes knew what he meant.

"Shocking." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"I know right?" Calvin said, not catching Hobbes' sarcasm.

After wandering around the game a little more, and stealing a car from The Game of Life and crashing it, Calvin and Hobbes approached a sign that said "Helper Town".

"This is it! The place where our helper is!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Who will it be, Mr. Monopoly?" Hobbes said taking a wild guess since it was the first board game mascot that came into his head.

"Correct, talking tiger!" Mr. Monopoly said as he hopped out of nowhere.

"Okay then..." Hobbes said surprised.

"Mr. Monopoly! So glad to see you!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Indeed, Mr. Calvin." Mr. Monopoly said.

"YOU ACTUALLY GOT MR. MONOPOLY?! HOW?!" Hobbes said fully surprised, after the thought sank in that Mr. Monopoly was in his presence.

"Yeah. With Monopoly in the game, I can bring in Mr. Monopoly! In the game, you can choose between a battleship captain, King Candy, or Mr. Monopoly here. I chose Mr. Monopoly." Calvin explained.

"I see..." Hobbes said, understanding Calvin's explanation.

"Enough talk. On to stage 3!" Mr. Monopoly said excitedly as he began to go in the direction of stage 1.

"You mean stage 2?" Calvin said correcting him.

"Yes, thank you. I'm afraid that since I am getting old, my memory is getting hard to remember things." Mr. Monopoly explained.

"Fine, whatever. Let's go." Calvin said as he walked in the direction of stage 2, not wanting to hear an explanation.

Soon, the 3 approached Stage 2, and they got on a Battleship, and the ship began to sail towards the other enemy ships.

"So this is Battleship, eh?" Hobbes said impressed.

"Yes. The object here is to destroy all the enemy ships..." Calvin began.

"I know how to play Battleship, Calvin." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"You do? Really? Huh, didn't realize that." Calvin said surprised.

"Obviously..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"OK, then. Mr. Monopoly, you'll be the lookout. Hobbes, take captain. I'll be in charge of missiles." Calvin said/

"Why the missiles?" Hobbes asked curiously, as he was expecting Calvin to make himself captain.

"Think about it, Hobbes! I wanted to operate nuclear weaponry ever since I was three!" Calvin said, figuring it was quite obvious why.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget THAT..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

After Hobbes finished his sentence, a missile hit Calvin's ship.

"We're under attack!" Mr. Monopoly called out.

"I got this!" Calvin said as he began to shoot missiles at random. Surprisingly, he had some success.

"Your a terrible shot..." Hobbes said groaning.

"Well, excuse me. This is my first time operating nuclear weaponry!" Calvin said as an excuse.

"Keep shooting! A missile has come into the hull!" Mr. Monopoly called out.

"Alright. You win by sinking the Battleship, and I had three hits on the Battleship. So one more shot, and we win!" Calvin said excitedly as he shot a missile at the Battleship.

The missile nearly missed, but it managed to sink the Battleship.

"We did it! Now to stage 3! The last stage!" Hobbes said excitedly.

"Your actually enjoying yourself?" Calvin said surprised.

"Slightly, but mostly I just want to get out of here." Hobbes replied.

Calvin rolled his eyes and ignored Hobbes' comment as the Battleship reached Candy Land, and the three got off and began to explore Candy Land.

Calvin took a giant candy cane to whack people with, but licked it instead.

"Gross." Hobbes said as he cringed at Calvin licking the candy cane.

"Not my fault I added Candy Land in this." Calvin said in defense.

"Actually it is..." Hobbes said trying to prove a point.

"Can we not waste time? The Candy Castle is in front of us!" Mr. Monopoly pointed out to Calvin and Hobbes.

"Alright! The final battle with the Licorice Lord!" Calvin said excitedly as the 3 ran into the castle, the Licorice Lord was at the top of the staircase when they entered.

"Ah, it's about time you three show up. I've been waiting to fight." The Licorice Lord said grinning evilly.

"We'll see about that. Monopoly, special attack!" Calvin said to Mr. Monopoly.

"Use title deed: Beat You To Death!" Mr. Monopoly said as he jumped up in the air and beat the Licorice Lord with his stick.

"I can tell you used your own Monopoly cards..." Hobbes muttered.

"I'm home!" Calvin yelled at Hobbes.

Hobbes, on instinct, jumped in the air and pounced, but instead of Calvin, it was the Licorice Lord.

"Stop it, you mangy feline!" The Licorice Lord said as he attempted to get Hobbes off of him.

"Now for me. Use Throw the Book!" Calvin said as he threw a dictionary at the Licorice Lord and killed him. His ashes flew into the air.

"We win!" Mr. Monopoly said excitedly.

"Thank gosh, can we go home now?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Not yet!" Calvin said to Hobbes.

"WHAT?! I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONLY 3 STAGES!" Hobbes said shocked and annoyed.

"Yes, but you haven't faced the fourth stage for beating the game." Calvin said proudly.

"Which is?" Hobbes asked before he turned around and saw various characters and objects from other board games emerge in front of them.

"Running away from those dudes." Calvin said.

"So we need to run away from the snakes from Snakes and Ladders, knights from chess, a captain from Battleship, Sam from Operation, apples from Apples to Apples, hippos from Hungry Hungry Hippos, twisters from Twister, evil babies from The Game of Life, evil people from Cards Against Humanity, a living Bop-It machine, and evil gingerbread men?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Yeah. If we run now, there'll be a portal to take us home." Calvin explained.

"I'll stay back and hold them off!" Mr. Monopoly yelled out.

"Why can't you come with us?" Calvin asked.

"Think about it! I'm a game only character! If I come into your world, then everyone else will." Mr. Monopoly explained to Calvin.

"Well, okay. It's been an honor playing with you." Calvin said to Mr. Monopoly.

"You too." Mr. Monopoly said.

Calvin and Hobbes then escaped from the candy castle, while Mr. Monopoly bashed the characters with his cane.

"There's the portal!" Calvin said as they got close to the Battleship they used.

"Good, now we can escape this death trap!" Hobbes remarked.

Calvin and Hobbes leaped into the portal, and they landed in Calvin's room.

"Whew! That was a huge death trap!" Hobbes said relieved.

"Now, it's time to make edition 2!" Calvin said proudly.

"WHY?!" Hobbes said shocked and annoyed.

"The first edition was good! All goo things need a sequel!" Calvin said trying to prove a point.

"You know, I think I hear your dad coming." Hobbes said as he heard footsteps nearing Calvin's room.

"Oh, relax. He's probably going to take me to Hasbro and get the game published!" Calvin said in a relaxed tone.

Then, Calvin's Dad flew open the bedroom door.

"CALVIN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BOARD GAMES?!" Calvin's Dad said angrily.

"Oops..." Calvin said, knowing he was going to get a very long lecture from his dad.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **Mr. Monopoly: Patrick Stewart**_

 _ **The Licorice Lord: Clancy Brown**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 3A: The Court Case of Calvin v. School-After Calvin slips in a wet spot of the school with no wet floor sign, he decides to take the trivial matter to court.**


	6. 3A: The Court Case of Calvin v School

**The Court Case of Calvin v. School-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: After slipping on a wet spot at school without a wet floor sign to warn him, Calvin decides to take the trivial matter to court.**

* * *

It was another semi-ordinary day at Bill Watterson Elementary School.

Notice how it said semi-ordinary.

 _ **FLOMP!**_

"What was that?!" Miss Wormwood said surprised as she looked up from the papers she was grading, and saw a large stack of textbooks that had fallen off from a cabinet that was open.

Take a wild guess who was covered in that stack of textbooks.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Calvin yelled as he attempted to get out of the stack of textbooks that had fallen on him, before Miss Wormwood grabbed him out of the stack.

"Calvin, why where you trying to get a textbook out of the cabinet when you have one on your desk?" Miss Wormwood asked.

"Well its because the book decided it didn't like me and it walked off the desk, but when I grabbed it, the entire spine flew out, and all the papers fell on the floor!"

"Then how on earth didn't I hear it?"

"Because I used my feet to catch them so you wouldn't go on one of your hypocritical rages. Then I put all the pages on the ground quietly, and did my best to stay quiet so I could do the assignment so you couldn't accuse me of doing nothing and send me down to the Principal's office!" Calvin said annoyed as he pointed back to his desk.

Miss Wormwood looked and saw the mess at Calvin's desk, and groaned, then she looked back at Calvin, and noticed he was covered in dust.

"Well, you should probably go to the bathroom quickly so you don't cause anyone to get an allergic reaction from all the dust." Miss Wormwood said sighing.

"Good! Anything to get out of the boredom zone!" Calvin said annoyed as he huffed out of the classroom.

"Five more years until retirement, five more years until retirement..." Miss Wormwood muttered to herself as she began to pickup the textbooks.

Meanwhile, Calvin finished cleaning himself up from all the dust, and then realized he left the water in one of the sinks running, and then came up with an idea.

"Hmm, if I have all the sinks running, then the whole school will flood... There'll be no school for months!" Calvin said laughing evilly as he turned on all the sinks and left the bathroom.

 _ **Two hours later...**_

Eduardo, one of the Custodians for the entire district, pulled up to Bill Watterson Elementary School to do his shift there. Eduardo always started by going around the school to see if anything noticeable needed to be cleaned up or fixed. For the most part, everything seemed normal, until he noticed a bunch of water coming out from the boys bathroom, and ran in to see all the sinks on, and quickly turned them all off.

"Kids these days. Well, I guess I better go get my equipment..." Eduardo sighed as he went back to his van to get his cleaning supplies.

However, it was 2:59 PM by the time he had stopped the water and started to walk out of the school, disaster was impending.

 _ **RING!**_

"FREEDOM!" Calvin yelled out as he bolted out of Miss Wormwood's classroom. Now at this point, Calvin had completely forgotten about his actions in the bathroom from earlier, so he didn't anticipate what was about to happen.

Most students that where near the bathroom had been extra careful as the passed the giant puddle in the hall. As for Calvin, well...

 _ **SLIP!**_

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Calvin cried out as he slipped in the puddle, did a 360 degree flip, and landed right on Moe.

"WHAT THE?! GET OFF ME TWINKY!" Moe yelled as he tossed Calvin right back into the puddle. Calvin was soaked.

"THAT DOES IT! I WILL NOT BE THE SUBJECT TO ABUSE BY THIS SCHOOL ANYMORE! I AM _SUING_ THIS LOUSY EXCUSE FOR AN INSTITUTION!" Calvin yelled out for everybody to hear, and everyone in the hallway looked at Calvin.

"I'll bet the only good you'll get out of it for you is fastest court case dismissed..." Susie said as she walked by.

Calvin ignored her, and stormed to Principal Spittle's office, where he was busy signing some papers.

 _ **BAM!**_

"Calvin?" Principal Spittle said surprised as he looked up to see Calvin soaked, and very angry.

"WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?! YOU HAVE A WET FLOOR AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WET FLOOR SIGN! WHAT KIND OF PRINCIPAL ARE YOU?! I COULD'VE _DIED_!" Calvin said furiously.

Principal Spittle sighed, "Calvin, our custodian probably just realized it and didn't have a chance to get the sign yet..."

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE! YOU MIGHT AS WELL START CLEARING YOUR DESK OUT NOW, BECAUSE I AM _SUING_ THIS SCHOOL! GOOD DAY!" Calvin yelled out as he left and slammed the door.

"Nobody would be dumb enough to listen to a case like that..." Principal Spittle muttered.

But he would be proven wrong the next day.

Principal Spittle was busy working on the handbook for the next school year, when he received a knock at his office door.

"Come in." Principal Spittle said, and a man in a suit came in.

"Are you the Principal of Bill Watterson Elementary School?" The man asked.

"Yes, I have been since 1979." Principal Spittle said.

"Well Mr. Spittle, you've been served." The man said as he handed Principal Spittle an envelope and left.

Principal Spittle opened the envelope and was shocked at what he saw.

 _ **This court summons orders that: Samuel Spittle, Principal of Bill Watterson Elementary School**_

 _ **Appear in court tomorrow as the defendant in the case of Bill Watterson Elementary School v. Calvin the Bold.**_

 _ **Failure to appear in court will lead to severe consequences.**_

Principal Spittle looked at the paper dumbfounded, and then he grabbed the PA system and spoke into it panicked.

"Um, attention students and faculty, I need all the teachers for an emergency staff meeting right now in the teachers' lounge. All the students will have a recess." Principal Spittle said.

"Sweet!" Calvin said as he was the first one out the door.

"How on earth did he manage to actually get a lawsuit against us?" One teacher asked.

"Who is mentally insane to defend a kid like him?" Another asked.

"Okay, okay, I know there are a lot of questions." Principal Spittle said.

"Well who's going to defend us? If we lose we'll probably all be out of a job!" A teacher snapped.

"Don't worry, I got a good attorney defending us. His name is Frank Lanks, and he has about 30 years of experience, so I feel we're in pretty good shape." Principal Spittle said, trying to assure everyone things would be okay.

"Well he better!" A teacher said.

Then, Miss Wormwood spoke up.

"I'd say we bring the entire school to watch the trial, I think it will be a great education experience, even if it ends badly for us." Miss Wormwood said.

All the teachers agreed, as did Principal Spittle, knowing that tomorrow would be a long day.

 _ **Later that night at Calvin's house...**_

"Alright Hobbes, does it look like I got a winning case?" Calvin asked as he looked over some papers that Hobbes had wrote to help Calvin with his case.

"Of course! Tigers know everything about law, so this will be a piece of cake for you!" Hobbes said assuringly.

"Well if that's the case, how come you can't be my attorney?" Calvin asked.

"Because I read the rules while you were filing the lawsuit, tigers aren't allowed to represent people." Hobbes said sadly.

"Huh! The judicial system needs to be re-worked." Calvin said annoyed.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, you'll win this case for sure, and then we'll be millionaires like you said." Hobbes said trying to encourage Calvin.

"Yeah I know, if Dad wasn't just a wimpy Patent Attorney, he could've been able to represent me! But tigers are smarter anyways." Calvin said.

"Indeed!" Hobbes said agreeing.

However, what Calvin didn't know, was that Hobbes knew Calvin probably wouldn't win because of all the facts he gave to him made Calvin look stupid, and he was intending on watching the trial from afar where nobody could see him to see how Calvin would do.

The next morning, all the students and faculty filed into a courtroom in downtown to watch the trial.

Principal Spittle sat in his seat worried.

"Nervous?" Frank Lanks asked to Principal Spittle.

"Yes, this entire case could ruin the school's reputation, and our chances at having jobs." Principal Spittle said to him.

"Don't worry Sam, I've got a great case. He doesn't have a chance." Frank said encouragingly.

Calvin meanwhile, sat down at his table looking quite calm, as he thought the case would be a breeze.

Hobbes meanwhile, was hiding in the way back of the courtroom, with a camera to record the whole case so he could post it on Youtube.

"This is going to be comic gold." Hobbes said grinning.

Then, the bailiff appeared.

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Horace Rodgers in the case of Bill Watterson Elementary School v. Calvin the Bold." The bailiff said as the judge walked to his bench.

"Alright here, so Mr... Calvin the Bold?" The judge began.

"The one and only!" Calvin said proudly.

"Uh, is your full name actually Calvin the Bold?" The dudge asked.

"Well technically no, but if my parents actually let me change my name, that's what it would be, because that's who I am!" Calvin said to the judge.

The judge groaned.

"Uh, where's your attorney?" He asked to Calvin.

"I'm representing myself." Calvin said proudly.

The judge groaned again.

"So I assume both sides are ready?"

"Yes your honor." Frank Lanks and Calvin said at the same time.

"Jinx! You owe me a pop!" Calvin said to Frank Lanks.

Frank Lanks groaned, as did the judge.

"Very well, the plaintiff may give his opening statement." The judge said.

"With pleasure your honor." Calvin said as he walked toward the jury.

"Icky girls and gentlemen of the jury. Today I will prove to you that the bozos at the stupid institution of school that I'm forced to attend deliberately caused me to slip on a wet spot in the school hallway, WITHOUT A WET FLOOR SIGN!" Calvin began.

The judge groaned again. He knew it was going to be a long day.

"These idiots hate me! They obviously wanted me to fall and break my spine! But they failed! But since they caused me pain and suffering, I have no choice but to sue, and have them give me ten million dollars and shut down the school. That is all." Calvin said as he walked back to his table and sat down.

Frank Lanks got up, and began his opening statement.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will prove to you that my client, Samuel Spittle, Principal of the School the plaintiff attends, had no intention of causing him any harm. It was simply the cause of plaintiff's recklessness."

"OBJECTION! HE'S A FILTHY LIAR!" Calvin called out.

"Mr, Calvin, you can't object to an opening statement..." The judge said groaning.

"Fine, I'll keep quiet to let Phoenix Wrong babble for hours about stupid stuff." Calvin grumbled.

"My name isn't even Phoenix, and I was quite done with my statement anyway..." Frank grumbled as he went back to his table.

"Alright, since that is out of the way, the plaintiff can now call his first witness to the stand." The judge said.

"Alrighty then. I call myself to the stand!" Calvin triumphantly called out.

"Mr. Calvin, you can't call yourself to the stand..." The judge said groaning.

"Well then how come they can call me to the stand?!"

"Its how the court system works."

"Alright fine, I call Moe the moron to the stand!"

Principal Spittle groaned.

"No need for the extra commentary twinky." Moe grumbled as he went onto the stand, and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

"So Mr... Moe. Where were you two days ago at 3:00 PM?" Calvin asked to Moe, trying to sound serious.

"You already forget twinky? When you 'slipped' you landed on me, and I had to throw you off!" Moe said.

"Well, didn't you see me slip thanks to the schools negligence towards me?" Calvin asked in s serious voice.

"No."

"No further questions..." Calvin said groaning.

"The defense may cross-examine the witness." The judge said.

"We're going to chose not to since the plaintiff only gave two questions that didn't really help us at all..." Frank Lanks said grumbling.

"Very well. The plaintiff may call up his next witness if he has any." The judge said.

"Hmm, I call Spithead to the stand!" Calvin yelled out.

Principal Spittle groaned as he walked up to the stand.

"So Spitbrain, where were you at 3:00 PM two days ago?" Calvin asked in his serious tone that wasn't serious sounding.

"Calvin, you know where I was, in my office!" Principal Spittle said annoyed.

"Oh yeah? How do I know you didn't see me slip and fall?"

"Because, I was busy working on the handbook for the next school year, and I didn't even hear and slip and fall." Principal Spittle said firmly.

"Very well, the plaintiff rests!" Calvin called out.

"Mr, Calvin are you sure? You've only been at it for about five minutes."

"What?! How much do I need to prove these people are liable?!"

The judge groaned.

"The defense may call its first witness." The judge said.

"Very well, defense calls the district custodian, Eduardo to the stand!" Frank Lanks said.

"OBJECTION! This guy is obviously trying to bring a phony witness to the stand!" Calvin yelled out.

"How?!" Frank snapped.

"Because, I've never seen this Eduardo guy before, so he's a phony!" Calvin said, trying to prove his point.

"That's because I usually come to your school when all the kids are gone!" Eduardo said annoyed.

"Objection sustained." The judge said.

"So Mr. Eduardo, did you happen to see the giant puddle in the hallway?" Frank asked.

"Yes! I came in to do my rounds, when I saw a giant puddle outside the boys' bathroom! I went inside to see what happened, and some fool had left all the sinks on! Its obvious that kid did it for some reason!" Eduardo said pointing at Calvin.

"OBJECTION! He has no proof!" Calvin yelled out.

"Do you happen to have any solid evidence Mr. Lanks?" The judge asked.

"Indeed, we found a camera planted by the Student Council as part of an experiment they were doing. They agreed to let us use it for the case." Frank said as he hooked it up to a projector, and showed the video, which clearly showed Calvin turning on all the sinks, and his plan for doing that, much to Calvin's horror.

"Well Mr. Calvin?" The judge asked after the video finished playing.

"Uh... that's not me! I was framed! That's my duplicate! I would never do something like that!" Calvin said in his defense.

"Not according to your school records." Frank said.

"I demand to cross-examine the witness now!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Fine, go ahead." Frank said, knowing he pretty much had the case won.

"So Mr. Eduardo, you never finished, why didn't you get a wet floor sign?" Calvin said glaring at him.

"Because I had to get my stuff so I could clean! It was all in my van!" Eduardo said annoyed.

"Well why didn't you bring them in first?!"

"Because I didn't know there was going be a big mess like the one you caused!" Eduardo said, starting to get really mad.

"Yeah, yeah. Excuses excuses. No further questions!" Calvin said as he started to walk by his table, and then realized something.

"Wait! Who from the student council planted that camera?!" Calvin said demanding to know.

"Susie Derkins." Frank Lanks said calmly.

"WHAT?! CALL HER TO THE STAND NOW!" Calvin said furiously.

"Fine, the defense calls Susie Derkins to the stand." Frank Lanks said rolling his eyes.

"So Ms. Derkins, has the plaintiff done stuff like this before?" Frank Lanks asked.

"OBJECTION! You have no proof!" Calvin yelled out.

"I think its quite obvious you did it Mr. Calvin. Objection sustained." The judge said firmly.

Calvin cringed, groaned, and even banged his head as Susie gave scathing testimony about everything Calvin had done over the years, and every time he tried to object, the judge sustained it. But at long last, Susie finished, and it was Calvin's turn to question her.

"So Susie DORKins, most of that testimony is false and not important, where were you two days ago at 3:00 PM?" Calvin said seething.

"Well, I was walking to my locker, and then you flew by running so fast, you weren't paying attention and slipped! Everyone else near that puddle was actually careful unlike you!" Susie said.

"What?! That's a lie!" Calvin said annoyed.

"There's video proof." Susie said as Frank Lanks put another video in the projector, showing Calvin running at top speed and then slipping and falling at the puddle.

"No further questions..." Calvin said sighing and groaning as he slowly went back to his seat, but still thought the jury would believe him and not the others.

"The defense rests!" Frank said.

"Very well, this case shall now go to the jury." The judge said, and the jury filed out of the room.

It didn't take long for them to come to a decision.

Five minutes later, the jury filed back into the courtroom.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" The judge asked.

"We have your honor." One of the jurors said.

"Well?! Out with it!" Calvin yelled annoyed.

The juror sighed, and then read the verdict.

"We, the jury find Bill Watterson Elementary School not guilty in this case, as it was quite obvious the plaintiff brought this on himself, was being reckless, and simply has wasted our times in this pointless case." The juror said.

"I couldn't agree more! Case closed! Court is adjourned!" The judge said in agreement as he banged his gavel.

"Thank you Mr. Lanks, I couldn't of done it without you." Principal Spittle said relieved.

"Anytime Mr. Spittle." Frank said.

Meanwhile, Calvin was going insane, as you may have guessed.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I HAD THIS WON! THEY PAID THE JURY OFF! THIS IS RIGGED! I WILL APPEAL!" Calvin said furiously.

"There are no appeals for dumb cases like this." The judge said.

"WHAT?!"

The judge looked at the bailiff.

"Get him out of my courtroom, and out of this courthouse.

"I'm on it." The bailiff said as he ended up having to drag Calvin out.

"I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPREME COURT IF I HAVE TO! THE HIGHEST LAW IN THE LAND! NO WAIT! I'LL TAKE THIS TO JUDGE JUDY! I WILL WIN THIS EVENTUALLY!" Calvin said screaming as he was dragged out.

"I'd highly suggest giving that kid mandatory trips to the psychologist." Frank Lanks said. Principal Spittle just groaned.

Less than an hour later, word spread about the trial all over the place, and many people thought it was hilarious. Calvin's parents didn't believe it at first, until they ended up seeing the full trial Hobbes had put on YouTube, but decided not to bring it up to Calvin.

Later when Calvin got home, he stormed up to his room and burst in, Hobbes was there.

"How'd the trial go?" Hobbes asked, acting like he didn't know what happened.

"It was rigged! They obviously paid the jury off, and they made me look bad! And I can't even take this to the Supreme Court! Not even Judge Judy!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Gee, how unfortunate..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Nothing good has come out of this! I'm now a laughing stock to the entire state! Probably the entire country!" Calvin said angrily.

"Actually, I think I saw an article online that praised you for your attempts to prove yourself..." Hobbes said, trying to trick Calvin to actually go look for it.

And naturally, Calvin did, but his search landed him on YouTube, and he saw a video that caught his eye.

 _ **Stupid Kid Tries to Defend Himself in Court, Fails Horribly! (Must Watch)**_

 _ **by Hobsisgr8**_

 _ **20,680,900 Views * 5 hours ago.**_

"What the?" Calvin said confused as he clicked on the video. It only took about two minutes into the video until Calvin realized that Hobbes has secretly recorded the entire trial.

 **"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"** Calvin screamed out in rage.

"Uh oh..." Hobbes said to himself, and then proceeded to hide in Calvin's closet, so he wouldn't have to get the wrath of Calvin.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Juror: Owen Wilson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe/Teachers: Jeremy Irons**

 **Miss Wormwood: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle/Bailiff: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The Judge: Robert Downey Jr.**_

 _ **Eduardo: Antonio Banderas**_

 _ **Frank Lanks: Tom Hanks**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 3B: All Aboard the Calvin Express-Calvin and Hobbes steal a freight train and wreak havoc on the rails.**

"What the?" Calvin said as he clicked on the video, and then watched it and realized that Hobbes has recorded his


	7. 3B: All Aboard the Calvin Express

**All Aboard the Calvin Express-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin and Hobbes steal a freight train and wreak havoc on the rails.**

* * *

Somewhere on the Planet Yuk, there was a foreigner who traveled the galaxies, often going on dangerous missions.

This one was no exception for Spaceman Spiff.

"The incredible Spaceman Spiff has made it to the Momgrogs of Planet Yuk and has broken into their kitchen! Where all the torturous meals are prepared for the innocent prisoners!" Spiff said as he climbed to the top of the stove, and then began to start to ruin the toxic Eggplant Casserole with his blaster, but the Head Chef Momgrog was coming fast.

"Spiff hurries to try and disintegrate the poison! But the Head Chef Momgrog is coming fast!" Spiff said as he furiously tried to ruin the Eggplant Casserole.

But the Momgrog made it, much to Spiff's horror.

"CCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" The Momgrog yelled out.

The next thing Calvin knew, he was being thrown out of the house, and landed next to Hobbes.

"I told you that would fail." Hobbes said smirking.

"Shut up furball." Calvin said annoyed, not wanting to be reminded of another failure.

"So what do you want to do now?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin thought for a moment and then came up with an idea.

"I know! Lets go to the train depot and hitch on a train and become hobos!" Calvin said excitedly.

"That's a horrible idea." Hobbes said groaning.

"So you don't want to explore outside this boring place we call home, sounds like you alright." Calvin remarked, trying to get Hobbes to join him.

"But if you leave and we're gone for hours, your parents will get worried." Hobbes said, trying to prove a point.

"Oh please, you worry to much." Calvin said rolling his eyes.

"You always say that and then you get us into something that will get us killed..." Hobbes said annoyed.

"Shut up fleabag, it will be fun!" Calvin said, trying to persuade Hobbes.

"Alright, I'll come, but if we get killed, your paying for my funeral costs." Hobbes said after thinking it over for a few minutes.

"I'll only have to do that if I live and you don't you fool." Calvin said as they began to leave.

Soon, they made it to a train depot, and they hid from everyone on the station platform as a freight train pulled up to the platform, and the engineer hopped out.

"Alright, here's another load. How much time do I got until I got to head out?" The engineer asked to the worker.

"You got about 15 minutes to kill right now, so knock yourself out." The worker said as he looked down at his clipboard.

"I'm going to sit down and have a nice cup of coffee..." The engineer said as he tiredly walked into the station.

"Alright boys! Lets unload and load!" The worker said as the other workers began to unload and load things onto the freight cars.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes had seen the whole thing, and Calvin came up with a different idea.

"This is our chance Hobbes! Nobody is controlling the train, so now's the chance to hop on and drive the train!" Calvin said.

"DRIVE the train?! Oh no. Heck no. I agreed to temporarily becoming a hobo, not becoming your accomplice in your attempt to become an engineer." Hobbes said defiantly.

"What?! I've got plenty of experience driving trains! This will be a piece of cake!" Calvin said as if had been driving trains for decades.

"I hardly doubt controlling Lionel trains count. Not to mention you can use those without causing them to derail or fly into the air with you wanting them to go super fast." Hobbes said trying to prove a point.

Calvin was having none of it though.

"Shut up furball. We're doing it my way. It's either my way, or the highway!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"I'd prefer to take the highway in all honesty." Hobbes said as if he had nothing to hide.

"Hey, I'll buy you some tuna after." Calvin said, knowing he could lure Hobbes in with that sort of deal.

"Deal!" Hobbes said excitedly, and the two friends walked up to the train.

"Geez, how are you even going to get in?" Hobbes said as he looked up at it.

"Simple, throw me into the open window, then I'll open it to let you in." Calvin said.

"Are you sure? Remember the last time I tried using you as a human discus?" Hobbes said, trying to think of a safer way to get in.

"Oh relax, it won't be that hard." Calvin said as if it was going to be a piece of cake.

So Hobbes ended up tossing Calvin right into the open window of the train, much to his surprise.

"See? Told ya." Calvin said as he opened the door for Hobbes.

"So you were right, I'm impressed." Hobbes said impressed as he got in with Calvin.

Meanwhile on the station platform, the workers were still loading stuff on, thinking nothing out of the ordinary would happen, when the train started to move.

"Hey! The train's moving!" One worker yelled out.

"WHAT?! It doesn't leave for another 5 minutes!" Another one said shocked.

"Stop that train!" A third worker went as he started to run after the train. A bunch of workers joined the chase to stop the train, but it continued to go faster and faster.

"C'mon Hobbes, make it go faster!" Calvin said as he looked out the window.

"I'm trying to!" Hobbes said as he fiddled with the controls to see what would make it go even faster.

"Well keep going, I want this to go as fast as possible." Calvin said as he continued to look out, as the workers got smaller and smaller until they couldn't be seen.

"Did we loose them?" Hobbes asked.

"Yep! Now I'll take charge driving, and you can be lookout!" Calvin said as he shoved Hobbes aside to get to the controls. Hobbes sighed as he began to look out the window.

Meanwhile, the workers were dashed back to the station and began to track the train to see where it was headed, while another called 911.

"911 what's your emergency?" The 911 Operator asked.

"Okay, so I know this may sound strange, but a freight train was literally stolen! Like somebody got in it while we were loading stuff on and drove off with it!" The worker said.

"Uh... okay... I'll send a couple units down to the depot." The operator said, slightly confused.

Soon, the police chief and a few other cops were down at the depot.

"So someone just go into the train, started it, and pretty much stole it?" The police chief asked to a worker.

"Pretty much..." The worker said.

"Did you happen to see what the person looked like?" The chief asked.

"Well, its kinda funny. It looked like some kid with blonde spiky hair..." The worker said, the chief groaned.

"Isn't that basically a description of the Noodle Incident kid?" One of the officers asked to the chief.

"Yes..." The chief said groaning.

Soon, the chief and some of his officers were in their squad cars chasing in the direction of the train with an iPad that was tracking the train.

"I swear I hate that kid..." The chief grumbled as he drove.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were going crazy on the rails, they had even lost some freight cars because they were going so fast.

"Calvin, I think we should slow down." Hobbes said as he noticed another freight car was going crazy.

"Why?" Calvin asked confused.

"Because-"

 _ **WHAM!**_

"It just disconnected at a crossing..." Hobbes said groaning.

"Eh, who cares about those chumps who are going to be stuck there? They can just deal with it." Calvin said, not caring at all.

But then, Calvin and Hobbes' problems got worse.

Hobbes noticed five police cars coming up to them, fast.

"What's with the sirens Hobbes? Is there a fire around here or something?" Calvin asked.

"Uh, you may want to look..." Hobbes said as he directed Calvin to the window.

"WHAT THE?! HOW DID THEY FIND OUT?! HOW DID THEY FIND US?!" Calvin said shocked and panicked.

"Probably because they can track trains with all the technology today..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"ALRIGHT THERE! STOP THE TRAIN AND NOBODY GETS HURT!" The chief yelled into his megaphone while he was still trying to drive at the same time.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU TWIT!" Calvin yelled back.

"Forget it, I'm going to get him myself." The chief said as he literally jumped out of his car onto one of the freight cars still on the train. The officer in the car with him had to take control of the steering wheel so it wouldn't crash.

"Okay now the chief just jumped on one of the freight cars." Hobbes said observing.

"WHAT?! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?!" Calvin said totally panicked.

"I'd say we surrender and face the consequences." Hobbes said, only for Calvin to kick him.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"No."

"WELL HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT BEFORE-"

 _ **BANG!**_

The police chief slammed the door to the train open.

"Alright kid, just stop the train and come quietly." The chief said, gritting his teeth.

"OH YEAH?! MAKE ME!" Calvin said, goading him on.

The chief grabbed his handcuffs and attempted to handcuff Calvin, but Calvin kicked him in the shin, while Hobbes attempted to drive the train.

Calvin kept kicking the chief every time he tried to handcuff him, and the chief wasn't taking it very well.

"OW! LISTEN KID! JUST COME QUIETLY AN-AUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" The chief said as the train flew off a sharp curve and crashed hard into the forest.

Calvin and Hobbes weren't hurt, but the chief was from Calvin kicking him.

"Alright Hobbes, lets beat it!" Calvin said as he hopped out of the train with Hobbes following.

"Wait, this forest looks familiar..." Hobbes said as he observed.

"Hey! We've crashed here a bunch of times on the wagon! So we're obviously close to home!" Calvin pointed out.

"Yeah, so lets run for it before the chief gets out." Hobbes said as the two made a run for it.

Eventually, the chief made it out, but was furious when he realized Calvin had escaped.

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!" The chief said as he banged his head in rage on the train.

Soon, Calvin and Hobbes made it back into their backyard, and went inside, Calvin's Mom was walking to the kitchen when they came in.

"Oh good Calvin your-what happened to you?" Calvin's Mom said in surprise, seeing Calvin covered in dust, oil, and mud.

"Oh, uh... wagon accident." Calvin said quickly.

Calvin's Mom sighed, she didn't want to know what he had gotten himself into.

"Well, just go take a quick bath before dinner, your a mess." Calvin's Mom said sighing as she walked away.

"Do you think she'll find out?" Hobbes asked as they went upstairs.

"Nah, she probably figures I wouldn't do something like that." Calvin said confidently.

"Well even though you've done some really crazy things in the past, I doubt she'd even think of where you got the oil on you from." Hobbes said.

"She probably doesn't even want to know, so why bother worrying?" Calvin said as he got undressed and hopped in the bathtub.

"I guess your right, by the way when do I get my tuna?" Hobbes said to Calvin.

Calvin had completely forgotten about his promise to Hobbes.

"Tell you what, I'll get you double tomorrow." Calvin said grumbling.

"Sounds good to me!" Hobbes said happily, Calvin simply sighed.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Workers: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **911 Operator: Bill Murray**_

 _ **The Police Chief: Bradley Cooper**_

 ** _An Officer: Kevin James_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 4A: Chez Calvin-Calvin opens up a fancy restaurant.**


	8. 4A: Chez Calvin

**Chez Calvin-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin makes a fancy restaurant.**

* * *

One night, Hobbes was in Calvin's room, drawing mustaches on every single comic book Calvin had he could find. Calvin was out with his parents for dinner, so it was the perfect opportunity for Hobbes to mess around with Calvin's stuff.

"I'm back Hobbes." Calvin said as he came back into his room, and Hobbes threw the comic book right at Calvin in fright.

Calvin sighed as he threw the comic book off him.

"I'm not even going to address that right now... Because I need to tell you on how I'm going to become the richest person on the planet!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Dare I ask what stupid plan you have now?" Hobbes said groaning.

"Opening a fancy restaurant!" Calvin said excited.

Hobbes was surprised, as doing anything in a fancy and formal way was not the way Calvin wanted to do anything.

"Why a fancy restaurant? You hate anything that has to do with being formal and fancy!" Hobbes asked confused.

"Well the fancy restaurant my parents dragged me to was formal and fancy, which is gross, but the only way they can even stay in business is with how much everything costs. I mean, it was like 15 bucks for a burger! So I thought, I can probably make a good racket off something like that." Calvin explained.

"Well, people also go to fancy restaurants to get away from their everyday annoyances, and since they enjoy the fancy and formal atmosphere." Hobbes explained to Calvin.

"Okay, so you may be right with that, but I'll make the most fanciest restaurant in the land! Except people won't need to dress up in stuffy suits, because I'm totally going to redefine the term 'fancy restaurant'!" Calvin said proudly.

"Oh boy, I'm so excited..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"So tomorrow, Chez Calvin will be built, and will be the greatest eatery on the planet! Will make McDonald's and Wendy's look weak!" Calvin said confidently.

"I don't think its a good idea to compare a fancy restaurant to fast food chains."

"Shut up furball."

Hobbes sighed, he knew tomorrow was going to be a long day.

 _ **The Next Day...**_

Calvin and Hobbes were walking through downtown, with a very small cardboard box Calvin had brought along, they had been walking for quite some time until they came upon a large piece of empty land.

"Alright Hobbes, this is where the magic happens." Calvin said as he took the cardboard box and pointed it at the land.

Calvin placed his head next to the cardboard box, and then, a gigantic, five story fancy restaurant came out of nowhere. Hobbes' jaw dropped.

"Impressed?" Calvin said to Hobbes.

"Y-yes... Very..." Hobbes said, still shocked at what had just happened.

"Well Hobbes, you were the first to witness my newest invention working, the Thought Maker! You simply think of something and the box makes it a reality!" Calvin said proudly.

"Is there anything you can't do with a cardboard box?" Hobbes asked curiously.

"Uh, I don't know yet. For now, lets tour this beauty!" Calvin said as the two went inside Chez Calvin.

"Well, I'm a loss for words..." Hobbes said as they looked around the restaurant.

"I know right?! By the time we close after our first day of operation, we'll be so rich, we'll be able to buy Area 51!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Calvin, I know this is a very nice place you've somehow managed to exist, but we need cooks, waiters, bus boys, and a bunch of other workers if you want to buy out Area 51." Hobbes said.

"I'm not dumb Hobbes, that's why you need to spread the word." Calvin said as he shoved a bunch of posters and signs into Hobbes' hands.

"All of this?!"

"Well how else is Chez Calvin going to get known to everyone?"

Hobbes sighed, and trudged off with all the signs and posters.

 _ **Later...**_

"So do you have any cooking experience?" Calvin asked as he was interviewing a potential cook.

"Uh... Oh yeah! I was the head inmate cook back when I was in prison!" The person said.

"You were in prison? For what?"

"I got 10 years for grand larceny, and I just got paroled last week." The person said.

"Well, you bring a ton of experience... Your hired!" Calvin said as he shook the person's hand.

"Oh boy! I can't wait to start tomorrow!" The person said as he jumped out and left.

"Alright, so that's the 18th person I've hired today, that should be plenty!" Calvin said as he looked down at his clipboard.

"I think you need to hire better people, or else this place is going to fail." Hobbes said as he came out from the kitchen. He had been listening to all the interviews.

"What makes you say that? These people are perfect for the job!" Calvin said confidently.

"Perfect?! Calvin, all the people you hired have a horrible track record with jobs, while others are convicted criminals! You even hired a convicted murderer who escaped from prison! Do you not realize how bad this could end up?!"

"Nothing will happen Hobbes, your just worried. Besides, nothing will go wrong tomorrow night at the grand opening!" Calvin said reassuringly.

Hobbes groaned, he knew Chez Calvin was going to be a disaster, but decided not to press the issue.

Later that night, when the two were asleep in bed, Hobbes woke up, and sneaked out of Calvin's room, downstairs to where the rotary phone was, and dialed a number on the rotary phone.

"It boggles my mind how his father is still living in the 50's..." Hobbes mumbled as he dialed the number.

 _ **Meanwhile on the set of MasterChef...**_

"GET OUT! SCRAM! YOUR FOOD IS THE MOST PATHETIC, RAW PIECE OF JUNK I'VE EVER SEEN!" Gordon Ramsay yelled out as he chased some chefs off the set of MasterChef.

"What idiots, thank gosh I'm done filming for the day..." Ramsay said as he sat down at a chair for a minute.

 ** _RING!_**

Gordon Ramsay grabbed his cell phone and answered it.

"Hey Gordon! What's happening?" Hobbes said.

"Hey Hobbes! Haven't heard from you in a while! What's going on?" Gordon Ramsay asked to Hobbes.

"I need you to get a restaurant shut down." Hobbes said.

"What's the name?"

"Chez Calvin. Its not even opening until tomorrow night." Hobbes said.

"How come you need me to get the place shut down if it hasn't even been open yet?" Gordon Ramsay asked confused.

"Well, my money-hungry friend decided to open a restaurant, but he hired convicted criminals, hobos, and wackos among other things..." Hobbes explained.

"How old is your friend?"

"Six."

"Good gravy! I'll be there, where's it located?"

"Its in downtown Chagrin Falls, Ohio."

"Alright I'll be there."

 _ **Click.**_

The next day, or night really, Chez Calvin was lined up for miles as they waited for the doors to open.

"Alright suckers. Doors open in two minutes. Just do everything how I instructed you to do them during training and we'll be so rich, it'll make Warren Buffet look weak! Any questions?" Calvin said as he addressed his employees, and Hobbes.

"Uh, shouldn't we be dressed up like a fancy restaurant?" One of the cooks, who was a hobo asked to Calvin.

"Well, its my restaurant, my rules!" Calvin said, and glared at Hobbes, who was wearing a suit coat and tie.

"What? I actually show refinement unlike you nutcases..." Hobbes remarked.

"Whatever, I don't really care Hobbes." Calvin said rolling his eyes.

Hobbes ignored him.

"Alright, places people! We open doors in thirty seconds!" Calvin said as he ran toward the front doors, and burst them open.

"Icky girls and gentlemen! Chez Calvin is now open for business!" Calvin said as he opened them, and people began to file in.

Most of the people that came to eat at Chez Calvin had pretty high expectations, but were quickly disgusted on how awful it was being ran.

Most of the food was stuff you could get at a fast food restaurant or pizza joint, and the more "fancy" things on the menu were poorly made, as well with everything on the menu, which everything was priced over twenty dollars, and you had to pay when you ordered, cash only.

It was a big fiasco, but not to Calvin.

"How's it going for you?" Calvin asked one of his waiters.

"Oh its going great! I've collected almost 200 bucks so far! Except some of the people have been throwing up and leaving for stupid reasons." The waiter said to Calvin.

"Eh, who cares about them, I just want the money." Calvin said as the waiter gave the money to Calvin.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE NO REFUNDS?!" An angry customer said to Hobbes.

"I'm sorry sir, but my boss doesn't allow refunds. Mainly because he's a moron." Hobbes said, but then saw the customer throwing up.

"Well, tell your boss he'll be hearing from my lawyers!" The customer said as he stormed out.

Then, a person kicked open the doors so he could get in.

It was the one, the only, Gordon Ramsay.

"Gordon Ramsay?!" A few people in line said surprised.

"Yes, its me. Anyone seen a tiger named Hobbes?" Ramsay said.

"I'm right here! Let me get you a seat." Hobbes said as he approached Ramsay, and then followed him.

"So what do they got here..." Gordon Ramsay began to say ad then looked at the menu in horror.

"Its bad, I know." Hobbes said.

"Hey Hobbes, who's this guy? He looks kinda familiar." Calvin said as he came up to the table.

"Kinda? You mean you don't know who this guy is?" Hobbes said surprised.

"Well, he kinda looks like that angry British dude on TV who yells at people who want to become cooks. He needs anger management." Calvin remarked as he looked at Gordon Ramsay.

"That's because I AM that angry British dude on TV!" Gordon Ramsay snapped.

"Oh really? That's nice I guess, so what do you want to eat?" Calvin said.

"One of everything off the menu." Ramsay said.

"Alright, just give me all your money in your wallet, and if you don't have enough, we can discuss job opportunities." Calvin said.

"WHAT?!"

"You have to pay first you fool." Calvin said annoyed.

"Look kid, this is also for my friend, the health inspector, so I don't need to pay..." Gordon Ramsay hissed.

"Too bad! Nobody eats for free in MY restaurant!" Calvin said defiantly.

"Just do it Calvin..." Hobbes said as Gordon Ramsay continued to seethe with anger.

"Fine..." Calvin said annoyed as he walked off.

About almost two hours later, the food came.

"About time." The health inspector muttered.

"What took so long?" Gordon Ramsay hissed.

"Oh I'm sorry, it takes time for someone to cook everything off the menu, and bring it down a couple stories!" Calvin snapped.

The health inspector took a slice of pizza, and spit it out.

"Blech! This is disgusting!" The health inspector said.

He then tried some french fries, and cringed as he swallowed them.

"Those fries taste horrible! They taste like plastic!" The health inspector said.

Gordon Ramsay tried a hamburger, and spit it out and threw the rest of it at Calvin.

"What's the big idea?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"YOU CALL THIS A BURGER! THIS MEAT IS RAW! YOU DON'T SERVE RAW MEAT!" Ramsay screamed out.

"Sheesh, you could keep it down you know." Calvin said annoyed.

"I DON'T CARE! THIS IS RAW MEAT! YOU DON'T SERVE THAT TO PEOPLE!" Ramsay screamed.

"I'm not stupid pal, you've said the words raw and meat like twenty times now!" Calvin said annoyed.

The health inspector took a bite of the steak, and spit it out.

"THIS IS RAW! THAT'S IT! I AM SHUTTING THIS PLACE DOWN!" The health inspector yelled as he scribbled furiously on his clipboard.

"I AGREE! THIS IS A DISGRACE TO SOCIETY!" Gordon Ramsay yelled out.

"A DISGRACE?! THAT'S WHAT YOUR GOING TO CALL IT HUH?!" Calvin said as he threw some food at Gordon Ramsay.

"YOUR GOING TO REGRET THAT?!" Gordon Ramsay yelled as he lunged at Calvin, with the health inspector's attempt to restrain him being fruitless.

What resulted was a riot. Yes, a riot. People were throwing chairs, flipping tables, attacking the kitchen, among other things. The police was called, and when they couldn't handle it, the SWAT team had to be called in as well.

When it was all said and done, Chez Calvin was demolished, and the only person that was arrested was the convicted murderer Calvin had hired as a server.

The next day, the incident was on the front page of countless newspapers.

 _ **Restaurant Grand Opening Ends in Riots and Demolishment.**_

 _In Chagrin Falls, Ohio, the restaurant called Chez Calvin was opened to the public. However, it ended in a riot after a fight broke out with the six year old owner and famed restaurateur Gordon Ramsay._

 **See Restaurant on 3B**

"Hey look, your little riot made the front page of the newspaper!" Hobbes said as he brought it into Calvin's room the next day.

"Stupid Gordon Ramsay had to come and bring a stupid health inspector as well, he ruined me." Calvin said grumbling as he continued to scribble on a sheet of paper.

"Well, what have we learned from this?" Hobbes asked to Calvin to further annoy him.

"That the fancy restaurant business isn't the way to go. The fast food business is where the money is!" Calvin replied. 

"What?" Hobbes said confused.

"I present to you, Calvin's Burgers and Pizza! The next great fast food chain!" Calvin said as he showed a poster he had made for it. Hobbes groaned.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The guy convicted of grand larceny: Elijah Wood**_

 _ **Gordon Ramsay: Himself**_

 _ **The Hobo Cook: Joe Pesci**_

 _ **The Health Inspector: Nick Offermen**_

* * *

 **Next episode: 4B: Ye Olde Calvin-Calvin and Hobbes travel back to the Middle Ages in Calvin's latest attempt to take over the world.**


	9. 4B: Ye Olde Calvin

**Ye Olde Calvin-Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin and Hobbes travel back to the Middle Ages in Calvin's latest attempt to take over the world.**

* * *

One day, Hobbes was sleeping by a tree.

"Oh, tuna, gorgeous tuna, come closer to me, I need to eat you." Hobbes said while he slept.

Yes, he was dreaming about tuna, what else did you expect?

"Hey Hobbes." Calvin said as he walked up to Hobbes, but Hobbes was still sleeping.

"Oh tuna, let me eat you." Hobbes said, not hearing a word Calvin said.

"WAKE UP YOU FLEA BAG!" Calvin yelled, causing Hobbes to jump up in shock, now he was awake.

"Alright, I'm awake. What now?" Hobbes said annoyed.

Calvin threw the Time Machine in front of Hobbes.

"Oh no..." Hobbes said groaning.

"Relax! We're going to the Middle Ages Hobbes!" Calvin said as if it wasn't a big deal.

"The Middle Ages?! No way. Nope, I'm not going to nearly get killed again." Hobbes said as he began to leave.

"I brought Tuna."

"On second thought, I'm in!" Hobbes said as he jumped in the box.

Calvin grinned. If tuna was involved, Hobbes would join in.

"Good, put on your vortex goggles, and off we go!" Calvin said as he pushed a button on the Time Machine and they began to blast off through space and time.

"Why are we going to the Middle Ages anyways?" Hobbes asked curiously after they had been riding for a few minutes.

"So I can take over the kingdom, and that way I can keep my tyrannical intentions in place forever so when we come back, I will be king of the world!" Calvin said excitedly.

"What a brilliant idea..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"I know right? That's because I'm a genius." Calvin said, not catching Hobbes' sarcasm.

"When can we have some of that Tuna?" Hobbes asked after the flew for a few more minutes.

"When we land in a minute you sissy, be useful and help me steer this thing to a safe landing." Calvin said annoyed as they began to descend through space and time and into the Middle Ages.

But everything went downhill from there.

Calvin and Hobbes ended up steering right through a market and crashed through almost every stand, and then crashed through more places through the kingdom, and they ended up crashing into the moat at the castle after hitting the castle wall head on. Then when they climbed out of the moat and onto dry land, they nearly got hit with some of the bricks from the castle they had hit. The Time Machine was still intact somehow, just wet.

"Nice steering John Wes Townley." Calvin said annoyed.

"How is this MY fault? Your the one who always gets us almost killed." Hobbes shot back at Calvin.

"We won't get killed! There's no dinosaurs here! What's the worst that could happen?!" Calvin said, trying to stay positive.

Suddenly, an angry mob began to approach them.

"GET THE WITCHES!" A commoner yelled.

Calvin and Hobbes then found themselves sitting in a dungeon cell.

"Apparently being put on trial for witchcraft." Hobbes said.

"Why us?! We aren't witches! Only girls are witches! Lock up and torture them to death! Not males and tigers!" Calvin said annoyed as he attempted to break open the cell door. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"We're actually lucky, since the Judge decided to lock us up in here rather than kill us since your only 6 and a male." Hobbes said, trying to look on the positive side.

"That doesn't matter. We got to get out of here, somehow..." Calvin said as he looked around the cell to see if there anything to get them out.

Then, the two heard a large crash, and saw two guards running through the dungeon screaming.

"It's him! He's come back to try again!" The first guard yelled.

"Run away run away!" The second guard yelled.

"Is that the torturer?" Calvin said slightly concerned.

"I highly doubt those guards would be scared of a torturer." Hobbes said.

"The talking tiger is correct." A person said as he opened the cell door, he was dressed in knight's armor.

"Who are you?" Calvin asked confused.

"They call me Sir Gallahad, I am a knight that is trying to overthrow this corrupt kingdom." The man said as he took off his head armor to reveal his face.

"Hey! I want to overthrow this king-" Calvin began to say before Hobbes cut him off.

"We'd be more than willing to help you so then you can be king." Hobbes said winking at Calvin. Calvin winked back after thinking for a moment, thinking that they were going to help Sir Gallahad then take it over for themselves.

"Excellent. Now we need a way to overthrow the queen and take this kingdom over." Sir Gallahad said.

"Good thing I got the Time Machine, I'll put it in autopilot, that way people will get her and think she is a witch!" Calvin said excitedly.

"Excellent idea young sir, I shall have to make you my second in command when I take over." Sir Gallahad said as he began to laugh. Calvin laughed to, but it was his maniacal laugh. Hobbes groaned.

Later, they were waiting for the Queen to make her daily parade through the town, and the three were waiting in a Tavern, which had been cleared out because everyone was scared of Sir Gallahad.

"Why are we the only ones in the tavern again?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, this isn't the first time I've tried to overthrow this kingdom." Sir Gallahad explained.

"Hey! Is that the Queen?" Calvin said looking out and saw a large crowd forming.

"It is indeed, come on! To our hiding spot!" Sir Gallahad said as the three left the tavern and then hid between two houses in town.

"Is the plan set?" Sir Gallahad asked to Calvin as he fiddled with the Time Machine.

"Yep, here goes nothing!" Calvin said as he let the Time Machine go.

The Time Machine flew over to where the Queen was at, waving to the people, then, she saw the Time Machine coming at her, and she kicked it away, and it went straight back to Calvin.

"THE QUEEN IS A WITCH! TAKE HER TO THE COURT!" A commoner yelled as an angry mob charged at the Queen.

"Worked like a charm." Calvin said grinning.

 _ **Later at the Courthouse...**_

"So while you have been found Guilty of Witchcraft, due to your rank, I cannot execute you, so life in the dungeon shall fit. But who shall lead our kingdom?" The judge said as he addressed everyone in the courtroom. Calvin jumped up.

"I will! It shall be called the Kingdom of Cal-" Calvin began to say before being tackled down by Hobbes.

"Please ignore him." Hobbes said as Calvin tried to escape Hobbes.

"Silly child, we can't let people like you run our kingdom. Anyone that looks actually capable of running the kingdom?" The judge said.

"I shall, your honor." Sir Gallahad said as he stood up.

"Then it is decided then. A parade honoring our new ruler shall be held right now!" The judge said as he slammed his gavel.

A few minutes later, a huge parade was being held for Sir Gallahad, the new King.

"Thanks a lot you dingey flea bat, now I can't rule the world because this place is full of hypocrites. One minute they're terrified of him the next they love him." Calvin said grumbling.

'I was saving you, because people would wonder how you got out of the dungeon." Hobbes said, thinking that people had a very good memory.

"Oh yeah, but wouldn't they notice you as well?" Calvin asked.

"They think I was a jester dressed up as a tiger." Hobbes said.

"Wow, people are weird. Well, I guess we should head home." Calvin said as he and Hobbes got in the Time Machine and took off back home.

"Maybe next time you should go back to the beginning of a dynasty and try and take over, since you weren't blood related to the royal family at all." Hobbes said, trying to give advice to Calvin, but instantly regretted saying this to Calvin.

"Hey! That's it! I just need to look like I'm related to a royal family! That's it! I should've thought of that years ago!" Calvin said as he began to go on and on about his latest plan, Hobbes groaned.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **Commoner: Billy Crystal**_

 _ **Sir Gallahad: Michael Fassbender**_

 _ **The Judge: Robert Downey Jr.**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 5 (First Half Hour Episode Yay!): Calvin the Bus Driver-Calvin takes over driving the school bus on his way to school when the regular bus driver has to step out for a moment, leading to chaos.**


	10. 5: Calvin the Bus Driver

**Calvin the Bus Driver-Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: After Calvin's bus driver has to step out for a moment on the way to school. Calvin takes over driving the bus and wreaks havoc.**

* * *

It was another ordinary morning at Calvin's house.

"ARRGHHH! I'M GOING TO MISS IT! I'M GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" Calvin yelled as he frantically tried to get his stuff for school together.

And yes, this is ordinary.

"You wouldn't have to worry about this stuff you know if you were actually organized in the morning." Hobbes remarked.

"Your not helping furball." Calvin said annoyed as he tried to grab some of his stuff.

"Calvin hurry up! The bus is going to be here!" Calvin's Mom yelled from downstairs.

"I'm trying to!" Calvin said as he started to run downstairs, but then tripped and fell down them.

"Ugh..." Calvin said groaning.

Calvin's Mom then threw Calvin out to the bus stop, which is right in front of the house pretty much if you remember from the comic strip.

"What happened Calvin?" Susie asked.

"I was hurrying to get out here so I wouldn't miss the bus, but someone keeps putting my stuff for school in various places and makes it hard to find!" Calvin said annoyed.

"I don't think your stuff is being replaced, its just you being disorganized." Susie said rolling her eyes.

"Oh please, you sound just like Hobbes." Calvin said dismissing Susie's statement.

"Well, he's probably right." Susie said.

"Never! I'm always right! No matter what!" Calvin began to say, but then the bus pulled up.

"Aww man, I didn't get to finish my rant." Calvin said as he and Susie got on the bus, and the bus began moving again.

"Are you ready to present your project today?" Susie asked to Calvin.

"What project?" Calvin said confused.

"You forgot about the science project?!"

"What? Me? Heck no. I collected all 50 bugs back when we started it!"

"No you idiot! That was years ago! We had to research and give examples of the scientific method!"

As soon as Susie said that, Calvin knew exactly what she was talking about.

"OH NO! I COMPLETELY FORGOT!" Calvin said panicked.

"You always forget! Have you not been paying attention in class at all?! Your going to flunk out of school at the rate your going here!" Susie said annoyed.

"OH MAN OH MAN! WORMWOOD'S GONNA KILL ME!" Calvin said panicked.

"Well it's your own fault!"

"YOUR NOT HELPING!"

Some of the kids sitting around Calvin and Susie heard their argument, but the Bus Driver didn't hear any of it, as he was feeling sick.

"Ugh, my stomach hurts...I really shouldn't of eaten that breakfast burrito. Ugh..." He grumbled as he drove on. Then, he saw a porta potty in the distance.

"Ugh, I need to stop." The bus driver said as he stopped the bus and grabbed the loudspeaker.

"Attention boys and girls, I need to clear out my body quickly. Don't worry, we're way ahead of schedule so we shouldn't be late to school." He said into the loudspeaker and then ran off into the porta potty.

Meanwhile, Calvin was paying no attention as he was still in a panicked mood.

"OH MAN OH MAN OH MA-Hey where did the bus driver go?" Calvin said as he realized there was nobody in the drivers' seat.

"Your oblivious, he needed to use the bathroom." Susie said annoyed.

"Oh really?" Calvin said, grinning evilly.

Calvin then snuck up to the drivers' seat, and nobody noticed somehow.

"Well, the only way to not have to admit I didn't do my project, is to simply drive off and not go to school. Plus, this will help me get my drivers' license 10 years early! That will be a blast!" Calvin said as he shut the bus doors.

"Hey! Your not the bus driver." A kid yelled.

"Well I am now, so get used to it!" Calvin shot back.

"CALVIN! You can't drive!"

"Shut up Susie, I can too."

"The Wagon Derby..."

"Shut up Susie, nobody cares what girls think." Calvin said as he finished tying to things to his shoes that allowed him to reach the pedals, and slammed on the gas.

"WOOHOO! THIS IS THE LIFE!" Calvin said as the bus began to speed up more and more with everyone on the bus screaming.

About a minute later, the bus driver came back out from the porta potty.

"Ahh, that felt go-WHAT THE?! WHERE'S THE BUS?!" The bus driver said as he got out of the porta potty and looked around. He then grabbed his cell phone and called 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"I don't know what just happened, but my bus, full of children, just vanished! Someone stole it I think!"

"Do you happen to remember the plate number?"

"Uh, yes it was BW 1985 CH"

"Okay, we'll track it and see if we can find it."

"Okay, thank you so much!" The bus driver said before hanging up. He then saw another bus blow buy him.

"HEY WAIT! WAIT! I NEED TO GET TO BILL WATTERSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! WAIT!" He said as he tried to catch up with the bus.

Meanwhile, a police officer was sitting in his car reading the newspaper and drinking some coffee, when suddenly he saw the school bus Calvin was driving zoom by him."

"WHOA! I don't know what the speed limit is around here, but I know for sure that was way over the limit!" The officer said as he threw all his stuff to the back of his car and began to chase after it full throttle.

"Oh great..." Calvin said as he heard the police sirens.

"Calvin, just stop it! Your going to kill someone with your lunatic driving!" Susie yelled.

"Shessh Susie, your sounding like Hobbes even more day after day..." Calvin said rolling his eyes.

"WELL HE'S RIGHT!" Susie snapped back.

 _ **Meanwhile in Principal Spittle's office...**_

"Ahh, I enjoy the peace and quiet in the mornings, I don't know why, but I feel like that today will be a stress-free day, no problems, no chaos from Calvin, ahhh..." Principal Spittle said as he relaxed at his desk.

But unfortunately, he was soon to get a rude awakening.

 _ **RING!**_

Miss Wormwood walked into her classroom, prepared to start class.

"Good Morn-" She began before noticing that only four students were in the classroom.

"Where is everybody?! Is the bus running late?" She asked the students that were in the classroom.

"I dunno. I was walking to school this morning, and then I saw a bus goin' way faster than it should, I caught a look of the driver, and it seemed to look like the twinky." Moe said speaking up.

"You mean Calvin?"

"Yeah. I don't know any other twinkies that have blonde spiky hair." Moe said.

"Five more years until retirement, five more years until retirement..." Miss Wormwood thought to herself as she walked to Principal Spittle's office.

Meanwhile, Principal Spittle was being bombarded by teachers, who were fuming.

"How is the bus this late?!" One teacher said.

"My students have a test they need to start!" Another one said.

"I told the school board we need a new bus system!" A third one said.

"Okay, I know, look please..." Principal Spittle began to say.

"HOLD UP!"

Everyone looked at Miss Wormwood.

"Is this important, because I have a situation on my hands right now..." Principal Spittle said.

"I think we know who the driver of the hijacked bus is..."

 _ **(Commercial Break)**_

* * *

"The bus was hijaked?! HOW?!" Principal Spittle said in shock.

"Well... Moe told me he was walking to school and saw a bus going extremely fast. He said the driver looked like Calvin..." Miss Wormwood said sighing.

"Who's HE?" The second teacher asked.

"Calvin, that name sounds familiar..." The first teacher said.

"Oh yeah! The Noodle Incident Kid!" The third teacher remarked.

Principal Spittle meanwhile, was fuming at his desk, and his coffee cup broke.

 **CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

The whole school heard Principal Spittle's scream.

"I knew it was twinky behind the wheel." Moe said proud of himself.

 _ **Meanwhile at Calvin's House...**_

Calvin's Mom was watching her daily soap opera, when suddenly a breaking news report came on.

"Of course, right during my soaps..." Calvin's Mom said annoyed.

"We interrupt your current program for a breaking news report. A school bus on its way to Bill Watterson Elementary School this morning was taken over when the bus driver had to leave the bus for the moment. The bus is currently being chased by Chagrin Falls and Ohio State Police. Authorities and witnesses say the apparent driver of the bus currently is a six-year old boy with spiky blonde hair named Calvin."

Calvin's Mom jaw dropped when she saw Calvin's yearbook photo being shown, which was quite silly looking by the way.

 ** _RING!_**

"Hello, are you a parent of Calvin?"

"Yes, I already saw the news report. I'll be over in a few..." Calvin's Mom said sighing.

 _ **Meanwhile on the bus...**_

"Attention, icky girls and gentlemen, yes, you, Susie, we're going to stop at McDonald's for free food for myself only. And by free, I'll use the bus driver's credit card!" Calvin said proudly over the loudspeaker.

"That's forgery, Calvin!" Susie yelled out.

"Shut up, Susie, nobody cares about you!" Calvin yelled back. Susie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, wait, scratch that. We're heading to the downtown Starbucks. I want an Iced Lemon Pound Cake." Calvin said on the loudspeaker.

"WE'VE BEEN ALL OVER CHAGRIN FALLS! MAYBE EVEN MOST OF OHIO! Can we please go to school now?" A kid yelled out.

"Absolutely not! I'm the bus driver, so we play by my rules!" Calvin yelled back.

"THERE'S LIKE TEN SQUAD CARS CHASING US!" Susie yelled.

"Wait, what?" Calvin said as he looked in his rear view mirror to see several squad cars coming after the bus.

"Darn it! I thought I had lost them hours ago!" Calvin said as he slammed on the gas.

"JUST SURRENDER CALVIN!"

"NEVER! CALVIN THE BOLD NEVER ADMITS DEFEAT!" Calvin yelled out, and began to go even faster.

Calvin then swerved onto a street he recognized. Most of the kids on the bus knew that they somehow had gotten back on the route the bus takes to school, but Calvin had no clue (Because we all know he's oblivious to stuff like that.) and continued to go as fast as the bus would take him.

"LOOK OUT!" Susie yelled.

"For what?" Calvin asked.

"The Speed Trap!"

"He'll never get past this." The Police Chief said grinning as the bus came into view.

But Calvin thought quickly, and went off the road, nearly hitting a tree to avoid it.

"I hate people who exploit any loophole they can find..." The Police Chief grumbled as he got in his car and joined the chase.

"Hey look! There's our school!" A kid yelled.

"Wha-" Calvin began to say and then realized he was going to crash into the school's sign, and quickly swerved to avoid it, and then continued to drive like a maniac, nearly crashing into the school, but then, he came across a police barricade.

"JUST STOP CALVIN!" Susie yelled.

"NEVER!" Calvin yelled as he swerved to avoid the barricade, but he hit one of the police cars, and ran over another speed bump that had been set up behind the police barricade.

"NO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME!" Calvin yelled panicking as the Police Chief busted in the bus.

"OK, who's the driver here?" The Police Chief asked, but then grabbed Calvin as he tried to escape, and everyone pointed at Calvin.

"Listen kid. Your going to give me the controls. I'll drive this bus to school, while your going to be driving back to school in one of our squad cars. When we get there, we will have a long talk with your parents and principal about this." The Police Chief said as he dragged Calvin off the bus and into a police car."

"I WAS FRAMED! I WAS SET UP! MY DUPLICATE DID IT! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPREME COURT! OR JUDGE JUDY! YOU HAVE NO PROOF! THEY'RE ALL LIARS!" Calvin yelled as he was put in the back of the car.

Soon, the bus arrived back at school, along with a couple of squad cars. Principal Spittle was standing outside, tapping his foot.

"Well, well, well. There's the very very VERY late bus. Calvin. See me in my office. You're parents are there." Principal Spittle said as the police officer led Calvin inside.

 _ **Later...**_

"I hope Calvin doesn't mind if I draw a mustache on the Hulk..." Hobbes said as he drew mustaches on Calvin's comic books.

Calvin barged in, fuming.

"Put that comic down. I need to complain about what happened." Calvin said annoyed.

"I really don't want to know about what happened..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Well, first I took over driving the bus, the bus driver got really mad and called the cops, and I was enjoying a nice drive all over Chagrin Falls and probably a good chunk of Ohio until the stupid cops stopped me." Calvin said annoyed.

"That's why you're home at 1:00?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah. I got suspended from the bus for the rest of the year. Good news is, I won't have to wake up early to catch the bus!" Calvin said happily.

Hobbes groaned, knowing that even the smallest of positives for Calvin were victories to him, no matter what happened and what came out of it.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/News Anchor: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom/Teacher 1: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Susie/Teacher 2:** **Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Miss Wormwood/Teacher 3: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 ** _The Bus Driver: Sean Penn_**

 ** _911 Operator: Bill Murray_**

 ** _The Police Officer: Kevin James_**

 ** _The Police Chief: Bradley Cooper_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 6A: Dinner With Moe-Calvin is forced to have dinner at Moe's house, and ends up having to fight his mad scientist father.**


	11. 6A: Dinner With Moe

_**Dinner With Moe-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin is forced to have dinner at Moe's house, and ends up having to fight his mad scientist father.**

* * *

It was another normal day at Bill Watterson Elementary School.

"GAH! MY EYES! MY EYES!" Moe yelled as he ran across the school.

"Its a win-win! I give you my lunch money, and then I get to throw hot sauce at your face! That's fair!" Calvin yelled as he threw a broken bottle of hot sauce into the trash.

"Moe's probably going to get back at you Calvin." Susie remarked as Calvin walked pass her.

"Pah! He deserved it anyway!" Calvin said dismissing Susie's comment. Susie rolled her eyes.

And yes, strange things like this happen on a daily basis.

 _ **Later at recess...**_

"Hey twinky!" Moe yelled as he walked up to Calvin, who was playing on the swing.

"What now?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Hey, there's a kickball tournament going on right now. Want to join?" Moe said, but he had a grin on his face that meant he was up to something. But Calvin didn't notice.

"Yeah, I'll join. Only if its rigged for me to win though." Calvin said.

"Great! Here's the first kick!" Moe said as he kicked a bouncy ball at Calvin, but it bounced off Calvin head. Calvin wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"Well Moe, even though that did hurt slightly. That was pathetic." Calvin said, trying not to laugh.

"Then how about this?" Moe said as he punched Calvin off the swing.

"Okay, that hurt somewhat." Calvin said as he got up.

"Oh yeah, and from your little stunt you pulled earlier with the hot sauce, you owe me another 25 cents." Moe said as he reached out his hand.

Calvin was annoyed.

"Sure Moe, I'll happily abide to your request." Calvin said, as he began to reach for his pocket.

But then, Calvin took Moe completely by surprise and kicked him in the shin.

"Oh, your going to get it now twinky." Moe said angrily as he got up and lunged at Calvin. Calvin made a mad dash back inside the school, with Moe close behind.

Calvin hid behind a trash can, while Moe came running in.

"Come out where ether you are twinky, and it won't hurt as much." Moe said.

Calvin heard this, and then he grabbed the fire extinguisher that just happened to be above him, and then jumped out and sprayed Moe with it.

"AAAA!" Moe yelled as he ran off.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" Calvin yelled triumphantly.

But moments later, Moe came back and sprayed a fire extinguisher at Calvin.

"GAH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" Calvin yelled as he sprayed back at Moe.

However, this started dragging out all over the school, and ended up going into the cafeteria.

"Hey, do you hear some something being sprayed in the cafeteria?" A lunch worker asked. The other ones shook their heads, so she went out so see.

She went out to see Calvin and Moe spraying the fire extinguisher all over the place, and kids running all over the place screaming.

She ran to Principal Spittle's office as fast as she could, and burst open his office door.

"Food fight again?" Principal Spittle said groaning.

"No, there's two kids spraying each other with fire extinguishers. Their two boys that look like their in the first grade." The cafeteria worker said.

Principal Spittle groaned, he knew exactly who she was talking about.

"I'll take care of it..." He said groaning as he walked toward the cafeteria.

When he got there, he saw several students running and screaming, foam all over the place.

"JUST GIVE UP MOE! I'M TO POWERFUL FOR YOU!"

"IN YOUR DREAMS TWINKY!"

Principal Spittle groaned. He walked over to the lights, and turned them off.

 _ **BANG!**_

Principal Spittle turned the lights back on, and saw Moe lying down on the floor with two fire extinguishers beside him. Calvin meanwhile, was trying to sneak away.

"CALVIN!"

"Oh crud..." Calvin said to himself as he looked at Principal Spittle.

"Office. Now." Principal Spittle hissed as he left the cafeteria. Calvin groaned and followed.

 _ **Twenty Minutes Later...**_

"I HAVE TO WHAT?!"

"I want you tonight to go over to Moe's house and have dinner with him. Maybe it will allow you two to become friends." Principal Spittle said.

"WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?! THIS HAS TO COUNT AS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!" Calvin said in fury.

"There's nothing cruel and unusual about this Calvin, I can't have you two destroying my school." Principal Spittle said, trying to stay calm.

" _YOUR_ school?! Does it have your name on it? Did you build this entire thing by yourself by hand? No, you didn't. So this isn't _YOUR_ school." Calvin said annoyed.

Principal Spittle groaned.

"Look Calvin, this isn't meant to be punishment, I'm trying to help you make friends."

"Friends? Pah! I have plenty of friends!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Then name them."

"Well lets see, there's Hobbes..."

"Besides your stuffed tiger."

"Oh, then I got nothing." Calvin said. Principal Spittle groaned.

"Okay Calvin, you don't need to become friends with Moe, just have respect toward him."

"He needs to respect ME first before I can respect him!"

"Look, just make sure you get this signed by one of Moe's parents and return it to school tomorrow." Principal Spittle said as he handed Calvin a piece of paper.

Calvin took the piece of paper and left grumbling.

 ** _Later..._**

"... So your saying your Principal is making you have dinner with that bully?" Hobbes asked to Calvin later that day after Calvin got home from school.

"Yes! This is blasphemy! This goes against my rights!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Well maybe you could become friends with him." Hobbes suggested.

Calvin glared at him long and hard.

"Or not..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Right, my sole goal is to get out of there alive, which is why your coming with me." Calvin said.

"Why me?!"

"Because you can maul Moe and his weird family members if they try to use me as a lab experiment." Calvin said.

Hobbes groaned, it was going to be a long dinner.

 ** _Meanwhile..._**

In a large, very black colored house that was about a five minute walk from school, is where Moe lived with his father, the crazed Dr. Scientist, and his two bumbling assistants, Hugh and Jack.

Who is Dr. Scientist you may ask?

Well, he's a thin guy on the taller side, who wears a white lab coat and black shirt and shoes. His hair is a mix of black and gray, as was his long mustache. With one side being completely black, while the other was completely gray.

And as you may have guessed, he's a mad scientist.

"Heh heh." Dr. Scientist said as he continued to work on his gigantic robot.

"Soon, once I finish this baby in a few weeks, I will be able to launch my attack on the world, and then I, Dr. Murdoch Scientist, will be able to rule the world! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dr. Scientist said as he laughed manically.

"Hey Dad." Moe said as he came into Dr. Scientist's view.

"Oh hey there son. How was school?"

"Eh, twinky and I got into a war with the fire extinguishers, and I got hit with his, and now the Principal wants him to have dinner with us tonight." Moe said annoyed.

"That kid you steal the lunch money from?"

"Yeah, I was trying to get him to pay up even more because he poured hot sauce on me today as well." Moe said as he put the lunch money into a jar that said "Evil Funds".

"Eh, that kid is stupid. Maybe I can scare him, he won't bug with you again!" Dr. Scientist said evilly.

"But don't we need to prepare a dinner so he doesn't figure out your an evil genius?" Moe asked.

"Oh! Yeah... Eh, that's Hugh and Jack's job." Dr. Scientist said as he went to the elevator, with Moe following.

Oh yeah, probably should've mentioned that the basement of their house is a ridiculously large lab that Dr. Scientist uses for his plans.

Dr. Scientist took the elevator up a few stories, to where Dr. Scientist's henchmen, Hugh and Jack lived.

Now Hugh and Jack were both similar in height. While Hugh was slightly taller, and had brown hair. Jack on the other hand was slightly shorter and had hair which was a pretty light shade of red.

Currently, Hugh and Jack were in their bedroom doing their "workout" which consisted of dancing to random songs.

"Are they dancing to songs again?" Moe asked.

"Yes, as always..." Dr. Scientist sighed as he kicked open the door.

"HUGH! JACK!"

"Yeah boss?" Hugh said as he stopped dancing and tried to turn off the music, but fell trying to , and caused the music player to fall over and break.

"Alright! I turned it off without even touching it!" Hugh said happily.

"Yes! We're psychic!" Jack added in happily.

We also probably should've mentioned that these two weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

"Look here idiots, I need a 5-course meal made ASAP!" Dr. Scientist said.

"What's a 5-course meal?" Hugh asked.

"Never mind... We just need a dinner to serve several people." Dr. Scientist said rolling his eyes.

"Oh okay. To the kitchen!" Jack said as he and Hugh ran down the stairs, but tripped fell down a flight of stairs.

"Idiots..." Dr. Scientist grumbled.

"We're okay!" Hugh yelled from downstairs.

 ** _Two hours later..._**

Calvin and Hobbes looked up at the house.

"Well, this totally doesn't look suspicious." Calvin said sarcastically.

"Well you know what they say, never judge a book by its cover." Hobbes said.

"Oh please, Moe obviously lives with some madman. Maybe he's like Gru from Despicable Me..." Calvin said pondering, Hobbes groaned.

"How about you just knock on the door?"

"I was going to furball." Calvin said as he knocked on the door.

Moments later, Jack swung open the door.

"Geez, how about you kill me while your at it?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Oh, you must be the guests! Come in! Dinner will be served soon!" Jack said, paying no attention to Calvin's comment and ran back into the kitchen.

"Well are they here?" Dr. Scientist asked annoyed.

"Oh yeah, he's got some animal that walks on its hind legs." Jack remarked.

"What?" Dr. Scientist said confused.

"Hey boss, you want me to start plying my violin?" Hugh asked.

"Yeah sure, go ahead." Dr. Scientist said as he and Moe sat down at the kitchen table, and Calvin and Hobbes took their seats.

"Um, hi?" Calvin said nervously.

"Ah! You must be the loon my son calls twinky! Pleasure to meet you!" Dr. Scientist said.

"My name is Calvin you wacko." Calvin said annoyed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot..." Dr. Scientist said nervously.

"Obviously..." Calvin said annoyed.

"So who's your little friend?" Dr. Scientist asked, looking at Hobbes.

"The name's Hobbes. I'm a tiger if you can see." Hobbes said as he looked at his nails.

"He can talk?!" Dr. Scientist said shocked. Moe was just as surprised, as he now saw Hobbes as an actual tiger for the first time.

"Well yeah, can't you see?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"What is he? Some sort of alien?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"No! He's a tiger!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Then where's he from?" Moe asked.

"Well I'm from-"

"Dinner is served!" Jack said as he threw a bunch of plates with food of them onto them. Hugh then began playing his violin, which was very bad and annoying.

"And I thought Mom's food was bad..." Calvin said as he looked at the food, which was all burn beyond recognition.

"Jack what did you even cook?" Dr. Scientist asked to Jack.

"Oh! My grandma's world-famous 'Filler Upper'! It features lots of random foods!" Jack said proudly."

"I'd beg to differ on the 'world-famous' part..." Hobbes said looking at the food in disgust.

Eventually, they began eating in silence, until Calvin decided to ask a question.

"So uh, Moe's Dad... What do you do for a living?" Calvin asked.

"Me? Oh! I uh... make stuff for the government."

"What kind of stuff."

"Machinery."

"What kind of machinery?"

"Many types."

Calvin was still suspicious, so he came up with a plan.

"I got to use the bathroom. Come on Hobbes." Calvin said as he left toward the bathroom, with Hobbes following.

Moe and Dr. Scientist took no notice, and continued to eat.

However, Calvin and Hobbes weren't going to the bathroom, they noticed an elevator, and they got in and took it down to the basement.

"Clearly something is up, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!" Calvin said determined.

"I think the elevator is one big red flag." Hobbes remarked.

Once the elevator reached the basement, they got out, and were shocked as they looked around Dr. Scientist's lab.

"Ha! I knew he was lying to me!" Calvin said as he looked around.

"Obviously..." Hobbes said as he looked around.

Then, Calvin and Hobbes saw the robot Dr. Scientist was working on.

"Woah! Cool! A robot! Lets try it out!" Calvin said as he ran up and got in the unfinished robot.

"Erm, Calvin, I don't think its finished..." Hobbes said as he looked at it.

"Who cares! I'm going to use this to make sure I don't have to go to school ever again!" Calvin said as he turned it on. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin pressed one of the buttons on the robot. It began to move, but then crashed to the ground.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Dr. Scientist said as he got up from his meal.

"Oh no..." He muttered as he, Moe, Hugh, and Jack ran down to the lab, and saw an unfinished robot messed up thanks to Calvin.

"Uh, I think the robot's broken boss." Hugh said as he looked at it.

"Yeah, like we didn't already know that!" Moe snapped.

Dr. Scientist was fuming.

"Uh... Sorry?" Calvin said as he got out of the robot.

"So... you've figured it out Calvin... You've figured it out..." Dr. Scientist said seething.

"What? That your a moron?"

"NO! YOU FIGURED OUT THAT I WANT TO RULE THE WORLD! ONE OF THESE DAYS, I! DR. MURDOCH SCIENTIST WILL RULE THE WORLD!"

Calvin and Hobbes burst out laughing.

"Its not funny! That's my real name!"

"We know! Its so funny though!" Hobbes said while laughing.

"That's the name my parents gave me!"

"Talk about pathetic!" Calvin said laughing.

"THAT'S IT! YOUR DEAD!" Dr. Scientist yelled as he grabbed a ray gun out of his lab coat and shot it at Calvin and Hobbes.

"Woah! Run!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes made a run for it.

"After them!" Dr. Scientist said as he and Moe began to chase after him. Hugh and Jack grabbed something out of a toolbox.

"You think a wrench will be good enough?" Jack asked.

"Yeah! They work as boomerangs!" Hugh said.

"Great! Lets get him!" Jack said as he and Hugh grabbed wrenches for themselves and joined the chase.

Calvin and Hobbes managed to avoid it all, and they reached a dead end at Dr. Scientist's Root Beer Barrels.

"Oh this will be easy, just let all the root beer out and then we'll be home free!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes looked at it.

"Wait! No! Not the root beer! Please!" Dr. Scientist said as he, Moe, Hugh, and Jack caught up with them.

"Well gee Dr. Scientist, I don't know..." Calvin began.

"I'll do anything! Please!" Dr. Scientist said, getting on his knees.

"How about getting that paper signed?" Hobbes whispered to Calvin, Calvin shook his head in agreement.

"Alright, just sign this paper saying that I was here for dinner and we'll call it a night." Calvin said as he handed the paper to Dr. Scientist.

Dr. Scientist scribbled his name quickly and gave the paper back to Calvin.

"There! Now get out!" Dr. Scientist said.

"Whatever you say..." Calvin said as he and Hobbes began to climb up the emergency exit, but once they got to the top, Calvin pressed a button to let all the root beer out, causing the four villains to be swept away.

"CURSE YOU CALVIN!" Dr. Scientist yelled as he and the others got swept away.

"Suckers!" Calvin said as he gave Hobbes a high-five as they left.

 _ **The next day...**_

"So Calvin, what did you learn last night through that dinner?" Principal Spittle asked as Calvin handed him the signed sheet of paper the next morning.

"That Moe's Dad is a crazy mad-scientist that wants to take over the world, and his two assistants that have the IQ of Patrick from SpongeBob." Calvin said as he left.

Principal Spittle groaned. He knew he would never understand what goes on in Calvin's mind.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 ** _Special Guest Stars:_**

 ** _The Cafeteria Worker: Kristen Wiig_**

 ** _Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood_**

 ** _Hugh: James Franco_**

 ** _Jack: Michael J. Fox_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 6B: Hotel Calvin-Calvin and Hobbes convert their house into a hotel.**


	12. 6B: Hotel Calvin

**Hotel Calvin**

 **Written by JaJaLoo and NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin and Hobbes turn their house into a hotel, and have confused tourists stay there.**

* * *

It was that time again.

Mom and Dad hadn't gone on a date in weeks.

Calvin hated this night, because he knew he had to spend it with Rosalyn.

Dad rushed out of the shower, and dried himself off, and got in his formal clothes.

Calvin watched him.

"Date night again?" Calvin asked.

"Yes, Calvin." Dad said. "We haven't had one in three weeks."

"Yeah, that last time was torturous."

"Indeed." Dad said while putting conditioner in his hair. "Your mother and I need Rosalyn for a night like this."

"Honey! Hurry up! We're gonna be late for the baby shower!" Mom called from downstairs.

"Baby shower?" Calvin asked.

Dad didn't answer as he heard the doorbell.

Rosalyn was outside the house, but she looked a little hungover.

Dad was shocked.

"Hi Rosalyn, what happened to you?"

"It was CRAZY!" Rosalyn exclaimed. "I was at this sick party last night. There were a whole bunch of cute boys there trying to hook me up. Then I fell unconscious."

"Umm, yeah. Dear! Rosalyn's here! We have to go!"

Mom rushed downstairs.

"Alright. Ten dollars." Mom said, giving Rosalyn the money. "What happened to you?"

"Don't ask." Dad whispered.

They ran to the car and drove away.

"Alright, Calvin! I need to doze off." Rosalyn called.

She fell asleep on the couch.

* * *

In Calvin's room, Hobbes was reading a comic book. Calvin entered.

"Hobbes. We have to talk." Calvin said.

"What is it now?" Hobbes asked, sarcastically.

"Mom and Dad have gone to some baby shower and Rosalyn will be babysitting us for the whole day."

Hobbes gasped.

"What will we do?"

"Nothing." Calvin said.

"Nothing?"

"Yeah. When Rosalyn came here today, I noticed she sounded drunk or whatever. But anyway, she's asleep on the couch, so we'll trap her in the basement, and make the hotel I've been planning for a week. Today is the day I finally build the hotel!" Calvin said. "Now, just to check if Roz is still asleep. We'll carry her to the basement."

* * *

Calvin creeped downstairs, and then quietly tiptoed his way into the living room.

Much to his delight, Rosalyn had fallen asleep. He quickly ran upstairs without waking her.

"Coast is clear, Hobbes." Calvin said as he went back into his room.

"Oh goody!" Hobbes said as he followed Calvin back downstairs.

They managed to pick Rosalyn up, put a sleeping pill in her mouth, and took her into the basement, with a few close calls along the way.

"Gee, you wouldn't think doing something like that would be hard." Calvin said as he shut the basement door.

"Eh, you're just too weak." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up, furball." Calvin said, annoyed.

"Remind me while we're doing this again. I forgot already."

"Well, since Mom and Dad decided to go to some boring ol' baby shower for a friend of theirs, and decided to have Rosalyn babysit for the entire day, I figured like the action we've taken so far, will soon lead to the jumpstart of Hotel Calvin." Calvin said proudly.

"Oh yeah, you're stupid idea to turn the house into a hotel..." Hobbes said, groaning.

"Oh, come on, Hobbes. We'll be rich!"

"By convincing people to stay in our house?"

"No. Dad left his wallet here on accident. I took the liberty of making a new invention to give this place several more floors. I was thinking in the Hollywood Tower of Terror style, except it won't be haunted with a broken down elevator."

"And what about leisure here?" Hobbes asked as they walked back into their room.

Calvin pulled out some blueprints and put them on his desk.

"Well, I'll install a pool and hot tub in the backyard with a dome over it to keep it safe in the winter. I'll also turn the kitchen into Chez Calvin again, but this time, I'll make duplicates to work there. In fact, every worker here is duplicates."

"And what about our bedrooms?"

"Our room will be turned into the Manager's office. Mom and Dad's bedroom will be a suite since it has a walk in bathroom."

Calvin discussed every single plan, and got out his new invention.

"This, Hobbes, is the Hotel maker. It will turn any building into a five star luxury hotel."

He pointed it at the house, and it suddenly turned into a Tower of Terror style hotel, except WAY fancier.

For one, it wasn't haunted.

Second, Calvin didn't need to use his duplicator, because there were already duplicates in the hotel.

There were cooks, a conscierge, a housekeeping society, and more that I can't mention right now.

Calvin took a ladder and stood on it.

"ALRIGHT!" Calvin screamed into the megaphone. "WELCOME TO THE GRAND OPENING OF HOTEL CALVIN! MARKETING TEAM! I NEED YOU TO FILM A COMMERCIAL ABOUT HOW GREAT THE HOTEL IS! BROADCAST IT ON EVERY STATION! INCLUDING MTV, THE WORST CHANNEL IN THE WORLD! AND THEN PEOPLE WILL COME HERE!"

Calvin tossed two Star Wars Cookbooks and a DC Superheroes cookbook at another duplicate as the marketing team ran off to make a commercial.

"NEXT, I NEED THE COOKING TEAM TO MAKE A MENU BASED OFF THESE COOKBOOKS!"

The cooking team saluted and went to work.

"THE REST OF YOU, DO YOUR JOB CORRECTLY!"

The duplicates cheered and went to work.

* * *

A couple was watching a golf tournament on NBC.

At the next commercial break, the Hotel Calvin commercial came up.

It caught the wife's attention.

"Bill! Wake up!" Said the wife.

Bill awoke with a start.

"What now, Melissa?"

"Pack your bags. We're going on vacation to the Hotel Calvin!"

"What?" Bill asked, confused.

"Hotel Calvin! It's on TV right..."

Melissa turned to the TV and saw that it had changed to a Wendy's commercial.

She groaned.

* * *

A family of four was driving in a minivan.

The two kids in the back were watching live Cartoon Network.

Then, a commercial break popped up, and the Hotel Calvin commercial came up.

One of the kids piped up.

"Mommy, I have a suggestion for a hotel to stay in tonight!"

"What is it, Owen?" asked the mother.

"The Hotel Calvin!" Owen shouted.

"I don't know. What do you think, Tom?"

"Let's go! I read good reviews about it on Yelp!" Tom said, pulling into the parking lot of the hotel.

* * *

Calvin was enjoying this.

Customers were coming in like fast, and it was insane.

Hobbes was reading the good reviews on Yelp, and he was surprised that Calvin's idea worked.

Calvin looked up from a comic book to a knocking on the door.

It was an unemployed duplicate, who was going to be a supplier.

Calvin hired him and gave him money to buy some food.

"Wow, Calvin." Hobbes said. "I can't believe this actually worked!

"I know, right! That's because I'm a genius."

* * *

Rosalyn was sound asleep on an army cot.

She woke up to the sound of Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine.

"What the..." She said.

She opened the basement door, and saw a whole bunch of people with Calvin's duplicates.

"HEY!" Rosalyn yelled. "GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!"

It took a while, but Rosalyn ushered everyone out.

Then she stormed up to Calvin's room.

"ALRIGHT, BUCKO!"

"GAH!" Calvin jumped. "ROSALYN! How did you get out of the basement?"

"The door was unlocked."

Calvin was sentenced to bed.

Then Calvin had to take down the hotel with his invention.

When Calvin's parents got home, the punished Calvin to three weeks with no TV.

* * *

 **Cast**

 **Tom Kenny as Calvin/Tom/Duplicates**

 **Owen Wilson as Hobbes/Owen**

 **Leslie Bibb as Rosalyn**

 **Paul Rudd as Dad**

 **Scarlett Johansson as Mom**

 **Special Guest Voice: Bill Watterson as Bill**

 **Special Guest Voice: Melissa Watterson** **as Melissa**


	13. 7A: (Un) Stupendous Man

**_(Un) Stupendous Man -_** **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin transmogrifies himself into Stupendous Man, but leads to chaotic results.**

* * *

"Stupendous Man hears the call for help, and he flies off to save the daAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 _ **CRUNCH!**_

"What was THAT?!" Hobbes said shocked as he peered out Calvin's bedroom window to see Calvin, in his Stupendous Man costume, in his Mom's rose bushes.

"I'm okay!" Calvin said looking up at Hobbes. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"CALVIN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY ROSE BUSHES!"

"Oh crud..."

 _ **Later that night...**_

"Darn, I wish there was a way I could actually be Stupendous Man..." Calvin said as he and Hobbes lied in bed.

"What do you mean?" Hobbes asked confused.

"I mean that I actually want to be a real superhero." Calvin explained.

"We already have real superheroes. They're called Policemen and firemen."

"Their not heroes! They all hate me!"

"Gee, I wonder why..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Think of it Hobbes, if I could be Stupendous Man, I could become rich and famous! Then I could finally buy the US and rule the world!" Calvin said excitedly.

Hobbes ignored this by pretending to be asleep.

"Just when I was getting to the good part..." Calvin said grumbling as he went to sleep.

 _ **The Next Day...**_

Hobbes was resting by a tree, sleeping, and dreaming about tuna.

"Oh tuna... How I love you..." Hobbes said sleepily.

"WAKE UP HOBBES!"

Hobbes jumped up and then fell down. He glared at Calvin.

"Was that really necessary?" Hobbes said annoyed.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Calvin tossed the Transmogrifier in front of Hobbes, who groaned.

"Is this really worth it? Can't you just do something with your costume to make you an actual superhero?"

"Yes, this is necessary if I want to become the best superhero ever." Calvin said as he got in the box.

"Do you not care what damage could be caused if you do this?" Hobbes said desperately, trying to change Calvin's mind.

"Nothing will happen. Just put the dial on the Stupendous Man one I made so I can get on with being a superhero." Calvin said.

Hobbes groaned and set the dial for Stupendous Man.

 _ **ZAP!**_

The next thing Hobbes knew, the Transmogrifier went flying in the air and then fell on him. He took the box off to see Calvin, now looking like Stupendous Man, from head to toe.

"It is I! STUPENDOUS MAN! Defender of Freedom! Advocate of Liberty!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Oh boy..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Come on Hobbes! There's superhero work to be done!" Calvin said as he grabbed Hobbes' hand (or paw, whatever you want to call it) and flew into the air toward the city.

"GAAAAH! SLOW DOOOOWWWWNNNN!" Hobbes yelled as he attempted to hang on.

Then with no warning, Calvin stopped moving and then hovered, looking down.

"Do you see anything going on?" Hobbes asked.

"Not from the looks of it."

"Good, now we can go home." Hobbes said.

"Are you kidding Hobbes? I need to actually go down into the city in order to see!" Calvin said before zooming down into the city and onto a rooftop.

"Phew! Thank gosh that's over. For now..." Hobbes said sighing in relief and despair.

"Now, we'll just look for any crimes going on and then I'll swoop in to save the day!" Calvin said excitedly. Hobbes groaned.

About half an hour later, there were no signs of any crime.

"Ugh, its hopeless-"

"Calvin look! Its a robbery!"

"What?!" Calvin said as he looked to see the bank was getting robbed by two masked men.

"This is a job for STUPENDOUS MAN!" Calvin cried out as he grabbed Hobbes and swooped into the bank.

"Heh heh heh! Once we get all this money and get outta here, we'll be able to afford our own mansion Harry!" The first robber said as he stuffed stacks of cash into his bag.

"Oh man, we'll be the richest people in town! I can't wait to drive around in a Ferrari!" The other robber said.

"Harry, I'm telling you, you'd be better off buying a Bugatti." The first robber said.

"But Marv, its been a dream to own a-"

 _ **BAM!**_

Calvin and Hobbes crashed into the room the robbers were in.

"What the heck is this?!" The first robber said.

"IT IS I! STUPENDOUS MAN! CHAMPION OF LIBERTY! FOE OF TYRANNY!" Calvin boomed.

The two robbers looked at him confused.

"Stop them..." Hobbes whispered.

"I will once I do my battle cry!"

"Your battle what?"

 **S** for Stupendous!

 **T** for Tiger, ferocity of!

 **U** for Underwear, red!

 **P** for Power, incredible!

 **E** for Excellent physique!

 **N** for ...um... something ...hmm, well I'll come back to that...

 **D** for Determination!

 **U** for... for... wait, how do you spell this? Is it "I"?

Hobbes facepalmed.

"C'mon Harry, lets get outta here before the cops get here!" The first robber said as he grabbed his bags of money and ran out, with the other one following.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Calvin said as he flew straight at the robbers, but ended up crashing into a barricade of guards and officers that were waiting outside the room. The robbers ended up getting away.

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHO IS THIS KID?!" An officer asked furiously.

"I'm not a kid, I'm STUPENDOUS MAN! The Whirlwind Wonder! Friend of Freedom!"

"Yeah right, take this kid away."

As one of the guards tried to handcuff Calvin, Calvin flew out of the bank out of control with Hobbes.

"I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF! I'M GOING TO CRASH!" Calvin yelled as he tried to control himself, but ended up crashing into an office building.

"Ugh, that hurt." Hobbes said groaning, and looking at all the shattered glass.

"Yeah, good thing we didn't crash into anything too bad." Calvin said relieved.

But then, Calvin's Dad came back into his office room to see the mess, and dropped the papers in his hand in shock.

"Uh, hi Dad!" Calvin said nervously.

 _ **CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**_

Calvin and Hobbes flew out as fast as they could before Calvin's Dad could get to them.

"I'm heading toward home, this has been a disaster." Calvin said as he zoomed back to their house.

But Calvin couldn't slow down, and then crashed straight through the house, and then ended up crashing into Susie's house.

In Susie's bedroom that is.

Right in her closet to be exact.

Talk about bad luck huh?

"GAH! I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M IN A GIRLS CLOSET!" Calvin said panicking as he threw off the Stupendous Man costume, until he was eventually in his underpants.

"What are we going to do?! Your Dad's going to kill you, your Mom probably will once she sees what you've down, and Susie probably will if she hears you and comes up to investigate!" Hobbes said panicked.

"Relax, we'll just lay low here until around midnight. We'll sneak back to my house, get some clothes, then we'll grab the wagon and some other stuff and we'll head to the airport and take the next flight to California so I can start a career as a child actor." Calvin said calmly.

"Are you sure that will work?"

"Of course it will!"

But then, Susie came into her room to see what all the noise was. She saw the broken glass and saw a hole in her closet door and opened it up to see a stuffed tiger Hobbes and Calvin in his underpants.

Meanwhile, Calvin's Mom was looking for Calvin after seeing all the damage he had caused, when she heard Susie scream.

 _ **AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CALVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET! IN YOUR UNDERPANTS!"**_

Calvin's Mom was a star track runner in High School, and she was in Susie's bedroom in seconds.

"CALVIN! WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS?! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION THIS SECOND!"

"Uh, it was Stupendous Man?"

Calvin was stuck in his room for 3 weeks, and got his costume taken away again. (Even though he technically didn't use it.)

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The Robbers: Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern**_

 _ **The Police Officer: Kevin James**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 7B: Days of Snow - Calvin and Hobbes enter a sledding race.**


	14. 7B: Days of Snow

_**Days of Snow-**_ **Written by JaJaLoo and NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin and Hobbes enter a sledding race.**

* * *

In the winter, when the snow is on the ground and its impossible to ride the wagon, Calvin and Hobbes will break out the sled or tobaggon and go on a chaotic ride through the woods and discuss random topics.

Today was no exception.

Calvin and Hobbes were sledding through a treacherous part of the woods, while Calvin attempted to have a discussion with Hobbes on some random topic, while Hobbes was yelling for him to avoid everything.

"So Hobbes, have you given anymore thought on adding skis to the wagon and try riding that while there's still snow on the ground?"

"LOOK OUT FOR THE TREE!"

"Changing the subject as usual I see." Calvin said annoyed.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a horrible driver, I wouldn't have to say that every time!" Hobbes grumbled.

"Oh please! I'm the greatest driver this world has ever seen! I am the reincarnation of Richard Petty!" Calvin proclaimed.

"Not really considering he's still alive." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up fleabag." Calvin grumbled.

"LOOK OUT FOR THE ROCK!"

"ITS NOT THAT BIG YOU FURBALL!"

"THAT WAS AS TALL AS ME!"

"YOUR EXAGGERATING!"

"WATCH OUT FOR THE CLIFF!"

"What cliff?"

By the time Calvin looked back at what was in front of him, he and Hobbes were soaring off the cliff in the sled, and they were in the air for about close to a minute somehow, and ended up crashing back onto some snow, but the hill sent them straight onto an ice rink.

"AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Calvin yelled as he tried to control the sled, but he and Hobbes spun out all over the place, and several skaters were jumping out of the way to avoid from being hit.

Calvin and Hobbes flew straight out of the ice rink, and hit a tree.

And then a bunch of snow fell down on them.

"Nice tree impact Charlie Brown..." Hobbes grumbled as he got out of the snow the two were covered in.

"Well its not MY fault we happened to come across an ice rink!"

"Well its your fault that you got us into this mess since your the worst driver out there, you make guys like Austin Dillon and Ricky Stenhouse Jr. look like good drivers." Hobbes remarked.

"Oh please! Driving a sled is very different from racing in NASCAR fleabag!" Calvin snapped back.

"Yeah, the only thing that you connect with those two terms is that you can't drive either of them." Hobbes said.

But before Calvin could make a comeback, and piece of paper flew into his face.

"What's that?" Hobbes asked.

"Let me see once I get it off me furball." Calvin said annoyed as he got the paper off his face and began to read it.

 _ **Think your the best sled racer ever? Then come on down and race at the 33rd Annual Sled Race!**_

 ** _$15,000 to the person who wins it all!_**

"Hobbes! I know how we'll finally get rich and get out of this dump!" Calvin said excitedly as he showed the paper to Hobbes.

Hobbes groaned, he knew that they would be lucky if they could get out of the race alive.

* * *

Calvin spent days and days training for the sled race, while Hobbes sipped hot chocolate and read Calvin's comic books.

He honestly didn't care, but Hobbes knew trouble would happen, because he thought Calvin was a horrible driver.

Heck, the kid couldn't do anything right! He constantly got F's in school, he was always in trouble, and Hobbes wondered if he was going to be mentally institutionalized. He didn't know. All he knew, if he wasn't stupid enough to fall in that tiger trap, then he would still be roaming around in the jungle, and Calvin would get nowhere.

Hobbes shrugged and looked out the window to see Calvin taking a smooth slide in the snow.

Hobbes was shocked. Calvin was driving smooth!

Little did he know, it was all an act...

* * *

The snow was falling hard on the day of the sled race.

"Alright. Good competition today!" Calvin said.

Hobbes looked around.

There were beginner's slopes to practice on, and basically everyone was there except for Calvin.

"Hobbes, do you know what this means?"

"What?"

"I'M THE BEST THERE IS!" Calvin shouted so loud that some snow fell down.

An sled judge came up to Calvin.

"Hi! Welcome to the sled race, kid." She said. "We'd like your name, number, and your sled type."

"Alright." Calvin said. "My name is Calvin the Bold, I don't have a phone since my dad is so old fashioned, and my sled is a toboggan."

"Calvin the Bold. That's quite a name."

"Believe it, lady." Calvin said, walking off.

The sled judge rolled her eyes and left.

* * *

As the other kids finished practicing, they all walked to the starting line.

Calvin was already there.

One kid asked, "Hey kid, why weren't you practicing?"

"Because I'm the best sled driver there is!" Calvin said.

The kid looked away and rolled his eyes.

The sled judge advanced up onto a podium.

"ALRIGHT! RACERS!" She yelled into a megaphone. "ON YOUR MARK...GET SET...GO!"

Everyone started at a slow speed. Except for Calvin.

No, no. He was going really fast!

Some kids caught up to him, and actually went in front of him, much to Calvin's dismay.

"NO!" Calvin yelled. "The money is MINE!"

He then rammed the kid into the tree.

It went on like this forever. Kids would pass Calvin, and he would ram them into something.

There was one kid nearing the finish line.

Calvin knew he would have to do something quick.

He saw a snow ramp, and then...

He went all on 'Cars 3' Doc Hudson style, using a tree to flip over the kid.

The kid, confused what happened, crashed into the snow.

Calvin crossed the finish line first.

"And Calvin the Bold is the winner!" The sled judge said!

Then, a kid came tumbling down the hill and crashed into the sled judge.

"Who crashed you?" She asked.

"He did!" The kid said angrily pointing at Calvin.

Then more kids came down, and blamed Calvin for their crashes.

"He rammed me into a tree!"

"Yeah! I nearly went into an unfrozen lake thanks to him!"

"I think I got a concussion from crashing into a rock thanks to him!"

Calvin was busy celebrating when he heard all the complaints.

"THEY'RE ALL LYING! THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS THEY DIDN'T GET THE MONEY!" Calvin yelled annoyed.

"I'll look at the footage, and we'll see who the actual winner is." The sled judge said as she got a video camera and began watching the race on it.

Calvin was disqualified after the race, and a kid named Jimmy won the money.

Calvin went on a huge rant about how it was rigged, and he went on all night.

Hobbes ended up recording all the times Calvin had wrecked somebody, and even recorded his rant, and posted it on YouTube.

It got more views that the video he posted with Calvin in the courtroom.

Lets just say Hobbes had to make a run for it when Calvin saw the video.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Kids: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 _ **Special Guest Star:**_

 _ **The Sled Judge: Kristen Bell**_

* * *

 **Next Episode: 8: Calvinpardy! - Calvin sneaks his way onto Jeopardy! in an attempt to get rich, which fails horribly.**


	15. 8: Calvinpardy!

_**Calvinpardy! -**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin sneaks on Jeopardy! and attempts to win it all, but fails horribly.**

* * *

It was another regular evening at Calvin's house, nothing out of the ordinary had really happened, and Calvin's Mom was preparing dinner.

Calvin and Hobbes were upstairs in their bedroom, brainstorming ways of how to get rich quick.

"How about we give away tuna?"

"That's the 5th time you've suggested an idea with tuna, and I've already said, nobody wants to have anything to do with tuna!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Well, like your ideas are any better." Hobbes shot back.

"Oh come on! Making fake lottery tickets and then making them look real is a great idea!"

"Yeah, and its also illegal." Hobbes said annoyed.

But before Calvin could make a come back, the two heard Calvin's Dad pulling up his car into the driveway, they went to the bedroom window to see if he had brought anything home. Because in Calvin wanted to "be prepared" if he brought anything home that had to do with camping, because it usually meant that the annual camping trip was coming up.

Calvin's Dad got out of the car, and actually began skipping and singing happily to the door.

Yeah, we're not kidding.

Calvin's eyes widened for a minute.

"Uh Calvin? Are you okay?" Hobbes asked, trying to see if Calvin had totally tuned out from him.

"CODE BROWN!" Calvin screamed as he ran out of his bedroom. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"MOM! MOM! CODE BROWN! CODE BROWN!" Calvin yelled screaming all the way downstairs and into the kitchen.

"CODE BROWN?!" Calvin's Mom said in shock as she heard this.

"YES! DAD'S ACTING FREAKISHLY HAPPY! HE BOOKED ANOTHER TORTURE TRIP!"

"QUICK! BARRICADE THE DOORWAY!" Calvin's Mom yelled as she literally dropped everything she had in her hands to help Calvin block the door to prevent Calvin's Dad from getting in.

When Calvin's Dad opened the door, he could barely open it, since Calvin and his Mom were blocking it.

"Uh, dear! Do you mind moving out of the way so I could get in?" Calvin's Dad called from outside.

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU PROMISE TO CANCEL OUR CAMPING TRIP YOU BOOKED!" Calvin yelled.

"But I didn't even book it yet!"

"Then explain why Calvin said your so happy!"

"If you let me in I'll tell you! It has NOTHING to do with camping!"

Calvin and his Mom released their force on the door, and his Dad got in the house.

"So what's this 'good' news? You booked us a vacation to live in the wild like barbarians?" Calvin said sarcastically.

"It has nothing to do with a vacation Calvin."

"THEN WHAT IS IT?!" Calvin and his Mom said simultaneously.

"I got on Jeopardy!" Calvin's Dad said excitedly.

Calvin started laughing hysterically, while his Mom chuckled slightly.

"Ha! That's hilarious! Good joke Dad!" Calvin said as he continued to laugh.

"I'm serious Calvin, I even got a paper for it right here." Calvin's Dad said as he showed the paper to Calvin, causing his jaw to drop.

"W-well dear, that's amazing!" Calvin's Mom said happily.

"How?!" Calvin said, still in shock.

"Because Calvin, I took the online test, I went to the in-person audition, and the contestant coordinators obviously thought I was good enough for the show." Calvin's Dad said proudly.

"What did you do? Tell them that it would build character if they put you on the show? AH HA HA HA!" Calvin said as he began to laugh, Dad just rolled his eyes, pretending to ignore the remark.

"Well anyway, we need to start packing now because we need to leave for California tomorrow." Calvin's Dad said.

"TOMORROW?! THEY GIVE YOU A ONE DAY NOTICE?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Apparently." Calvin's Dad shrugging. Calvin grumbled and went upstairs to his room.

"So another camping trip?" Hobbes asked as Calvin came back into his room and grabbed a suitcase to start packing.

"Nope, we're going to California."

"California?!"

"Yeah, Dad somehow got picked to be on Jeopardy! I mean, who is that dumb to let him on that show?!"

Hobbes chuckled, "What did he do? Tell the contestant coordinators that putting him on the show would build character?"

Calvin and Hobbes laughed.

 _ **The next day...**_

"Phew! Thank gosh we got to our hotel! I thought that plane ride would never end!" Calvin said relieved as he entered the hotel room.

"Yeah, almost four hours with a hyperactive six year old on a plane is an accident waiting to happen..." Calvin's Dad said exhausted as he collapsed on the bed. Calvin's Mom sighed.

"So when is Dad's game again?" Calvin asked.

"Tomorrow Calvin, so its going to be a long day." Calvin's Mom said.

Calvin grinned evilly, but his Mom didn't notice. Hobbes however did, and groaned.

Later that night, when Calvin's parents were asleep, Calvin decided he needed to do something to cure his boredom.

"Psst! Hobbes! Want to go swimming?" Calvin whispered.

"Sure, why not." Hobbes replied.

They snuck out of the room and down to the pool unnoticed. Much to their luck, the pool was empty.

Calvin swam for a while, while Hobbes watched.

"So you ready for tomorrow?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, it'll be interesting to see your Dad on Jeopardy!" Hobbes said.

Calvin looked at Hobbes for a minute with a look that said, "Your kidding me right?"

"What?" Hobbes said as Calvin glared at him.

"Do you really think I'm just going to sit here and watch Dad go on Jeopardy!?"

"Uh... Yes?"

"No dummy! I'm going on that show for myself!"

"YOU?! You'll be horrible!"

"Oh please! I'm a genius, I know what I'm doing. I'm gifted at any subject." Calvin said proudly.

"Yeah, says the kid who thought our First President was Chef Boyardee." Hobbes shot back.

"Oh please! Who cares about that stuff?! Nobody! I'm just here to replace Dad!"

"But how? Your only six! Plus, your parents are going with you, so it'll be impossible to not get caught!"

"Who said that my parents were going to be there?"

"Uh oh..."

The next morning, Calvin and Hobbes woke up to Calvin's parents throwing up in the bathroom.

"WHAT WAS IN THAT COFFEE?!" Calvin's Dad cried out.

"I DON'T KNOW! BUT ITS AWFUL!" Calvin's Mom said as she threw up some more.

Calvin's Parents were so sick from Calvin pouring chlorine into his parents coffee, they didn't notice him and Hobbes walk straight out the door, and snuck on the bus to go to the set of Jeopardy.

A few of the contestants looked at Calvin suspiciously, but thought nothing of it.

Then when they got off the bus, one of the contestant coordinators stopped Calvin.

"Woah kid, where are you going?"

"To the Jeopardy! set! Duh!"

"You look a little young to be on Jeopardy! bud."

"I'm actually 32, I just have a rare disease that makes me look like a six year old."

"Oh really? Then which one of these people are you?" The coordinator said as he showed a list of the contestants names to Calvin.

Calvin looked at the names, and saw his Dad's name.

"Hey! That's not my name! My name is Calvin the Bold! Not that!" Calvin said, trying to act annoyed.

"Oh really?"

"Really! You want me to sue you and cause you to loose your job?"

"Uh no! Sorry for the mistake sir! I'll get it changed right away!" The coordinator said panicking as he ran off.

"I can't believe he actually bought that." Hobbes said surprised as he and Calvin walked in.

"Yeah! What a moron!" Calvin said laughing as they got to the Jeopardy! Hall of Fame.

"So are we both going to the contestant briefing or what?" Hobbes asked.

"Well... So people don't get suspicious, you go watch in the audience, while I go through the process to get on TV and get rich!" Calvin said as he went into the briefing room. Hobbes sighed and went to the set.

Many people grew suspicious of Calvin as the day went on and they prepared for taping to begin, but they decided not to think about it and pretending like it wasn't an issue.

"Alright, Calvin and Jennifer will be our first two challengers up against our returning champion Paul for our first taping today." The coordinator said.

"Alright! Time to make some money!" Calvin said happily. The other contestants looked at him suspiciously as he left the room.

Hobbes sighed and waited in the audience, and then he saw Calvin getting on one of the podiums for the first taping.

He heard the Jeopardy theme starting to play.

He gulped.

Calvin was about to make himself look like a fool, and he knew it.

 **(Commercial Break)**

* * *

 _ **"THIS IS JEOPARDY!**_

 _ **Let's meet today's contestants!**_

 _ **A certified genius, cook, hotel owner, club owner, sled racer, and wagon driver from Chagrin Falls, Ohio. Calvin the Bold.**_

Several people in the audience laughed.

"SHUT UP YOU SIMPLETONS!" Calvin yelled in annoyance. Hobbes groaned.

 _ **A writer from Richmond, Virginia. Jennifer Redmond.**_

"Lame! A girl like you can't win!" Calvin yelled. Jennifer ignored him.

 _ **And our returning champion. A software designer from Las Vegas, Nevada. Paul Jennings. Who's 23 day cash winnings total, $564,200.**_

"NERD!" Calvin yelled at Paul. Paul rolled his eyes.

 _ **And now, here is the host of Jeopardy! Alex Trebek!"**_

The audience applauded and cheered as Alex Trebek came on.

"Thanks Johnny. Welcome to another episode of America's favorite answer and question show. We got two new challengers today who are going to try and unseat our dominating champion Paul-"

"And I'm going to unseat him!" Calvin proudly proclaimed.

The audience laughed, Hobbes face palmed.

Alex Trebek was unfazed, and acted like it wasn't a big deal.

"Alright Calvin, glad your ready to go. Lets look at today's categories which are... Presidents, Sport Stars, 80's Musicians, the Dictionary, Computers, and Video Game Mascots. Your pick Paul."

"I'll take Sports Stars for $200 Alex." Paul said.

 ** _During his years of coaching, Phil Jackson coached this man for the Chicago Bulls, arguably the greatest basketball player of all time._**

Calvin rang in.

"Calvin?"

"LEBRON JAMES!"

"Say it in the form of a question."

"Uh... Who is Lebron James?"

"Nope."

"WHAT?! MICHAEL JACKSON TOTALLY COACHED LEBRON!"

The audience was in hysterics, while Hobbes groaned.

"Paul?"

"Who is Michael Jordan?"

"Yes, go again."

"Oh! That was my 2nd guess!" Calvin said. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"I'll take Sport Stars for $400 Alex."

 _ **This quarterback for the Denver Broncos led his team to victory in Super Bowl 50 before retiring.**_

Calvin rang in again.

"Calvin?"

"Who is Johnny Manzel?"

"Nope."

"OH COME ON! THIS IS RIGGED!"

Alex Trebek ignored him.

"Jennifer?"

"Who is Peyton Manning?"

"Yes, go again."

"Wrong! His name is Arnli!"

The audience was laughing hysterically, while the judges were already stressed out from Calvin.

"This person is going to be the end of us..." Harry Friedman sighed.

"I'll take 80's Musicians for $200 Alex."

 _ **Known as the King of Pop, this musician is known for hits such as "Billie Jean", "Thriller", and many more.**_

Calvin rang in, but Paul bet him to it.

"Paul?"

"Who is Michael Jackson?"

"Yes, go again."

"HEY! I RANG IN TO YOU KNOW!"

"Well sorry Calvin, Paul just barely beat you to the buzzer. Don't worry, you'll get one eventually." Alex Trebek said reassuringly.

"Good luck with that..." Hobbes mumbled.

This went on for the whole round basically, and was getting plenty of laughter from the audience, and stress for the judges.

At the end of the Jeopardy! round, Paul had $10,000, Jennifer had $6,400, and Calvin had -$6,800.

Yes, it was that bad, and it was only the first round.

"What am I going to do Hobbes?! I won't even be able to make it to Final Jeopardy! at this rate!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes talked in the bathroom during the break before Double Jeopardy! began.

"Well, your only hope is for the others to mess up and you get everything right or..." Hobbes began, but then Calvin shoved Hobbes an earpiece made of cardboard.

"What's this?"

"This is what your going to do to communicate with me so I can get all the answers, er questions right." Calvin explained.

"No way, I'm not helping you cheat again." Hobbes said annoyed.

"I'll buy you tuna if you help me."

"Deal. What do you want me to do?"

Calvin grinned, he knew bribing Hobbes with tuna would always work.

"Go hide where nobody will see you and look at Trebek's sheet with all the answers and questions on it. Then you'll speak it into my tiny cardboard earpiece that nobody will see, and you'll tell me the right stuff so I can win." Calvin instructed.

"All right, good luck then." Hobbes said as he went to get in position.

 _ **A few minutes later...**_

"Alright Calvin, since you're in 3rd place right now, you can select first." Alex Trebek said.

"Alright! I'll take Movies for $400 Alex!"

 _ **This film directed by Orson Wells is considered to be one of the greatest films of all time.**_

"Citizen Cane." Hobbes whispered into the earpiece.

Calvin rang in.

"What is Citizen Cane?"

"Yes! Go again!"

Everyone was in shock, Calvin had actually gotten something right.

Calvin continued to improve throughout the round, much to everyone's surprise, but nobody knew of his true motive.

When they got to the last category, it was all on Dinosaurs, and Calvin was about to sweep the category since he knew pretty much everything about dinosaurs, Hobbes had tossed his earpiece out because he was confident in Calvin.

But then the last answer on the board was a Daily Double.

"Alright Calvin, you get the last answer before Final Jeopardy! You could take the lead from Paul depending on how much you wager."

"True Daily Double Alex, I got this game won." Calvin said confidently.

The audience gasped, Calvin had $11,200. This one answer would be the margin of making Final Jeopardy! or not being even able to participate in Final Jeopardy!

 _ **In 1993, this famed Director directed Jurassic Park, which would launch an entire franchise for it.**_

Hobbes gasped, he knew Jurassic Park was Calvin's favorite movie of all time, and his favorite film franchise, but he knew that Calvin was good with knowing director's names rather than Michael Bay.

Calvin, who had gotten rid of his ear piece to since he thought it was going to breeze, thought long and hard.

"Calvin?"

"Uh... Who is... Spielberg?

"Yes!"

"HOLY COW! I WAS RIGHT! HA! IN YOUR FACE PAUL!" Calvin said proudly as he jumped up and down.

Paul rolled his eyes, Hobbes breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, in one amazing comeback, Calvin now finds himself leading with $22,400 over Paul's $20,400. Jennifer is still very much in this with $9,000.

"She is not!" Calvin said. Jennifer groaned.

"Alright, so the Final Jeopardy! Category is... Continents! Think about your wagers, and we'll be back in a moment for the clue."

It didn't take long for Calvin to decide how much he was wagering. He bet everything he had. He figured it would be a breeze since he had a 1 in 7 chance of getting it right, so did Hobbes, who took his position back in the audience.

Not that long later, the cameras started rolling again. Final Jeopardy! was going to begin.

"Easy subject for Final today, the Continents! Here's the clue..."

 _ **This continent is home to Kangaroo Island.**_

"30 seconds players, good luck."

Calvin thought quickly. He figured it was Australia, and looked at Hobbes, who thought it was the same thing, and gave Calvin the thumbs up that he was right.

Calvin scribbled down his answer quickly, and grinned. He knew he was going to win.

"Alright, we'll go to Jennifer first. She wrote down... 'What is Australia?' That is correct, and you'll add... $2,000, bringing your score up to $11,000."

"Ha! Told ya you'd get 3rd!" Calvin said triumphantly. Jennifer rolled her eyes.

"Alright, we'll go to our returning champion Paul. He was in 2nd with $20,400, and he to came up with the right question, and he'll add... Oh boy, $18,000. Bringing your score up to $38,400."

"Hope you enjoy 2nd sucker!" Calvin said happily. Paul groaned.

"Now we'll go to our leader Calvin, who made an amazing comeback in Double Jeopardy! and he seems pretty-"

"Lets not even bother Alex, we know I won already, so there's no need to read it! I wrote Australia as well!"

"Well Calvin, we're still going to have to look at your question you put down and you put down... 'What is Ostryla?'"

Hobbes facepalmed and groaned.

"Its Australia! Your acting like your decoding something! Its not that hard!" Calvin said annoyed.

"That is not going to be considered correct." Harry Friedman said to Alex Trebek. Calvin didn't hear it.

"Well, the judges are ruling against you so that's going to cost you... everything. It looks like you'll end up in 3rd place and Paul is champion for another day!"

"WHAT?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! THIS IS RIGGED! I WAS RIGHT! THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL AUSTRALIA! THIS IS STUPID! I'LL TAKE THIS TO COURT!" Calvin began screaming as he left the podium and began screaming right in front of a camera.

"HEY! WHOEVER RULES AUSTRALIA! TELL THEM THAT I SPELLED IT RIGHT! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME BUB! SO ANSWER NOW!"

"Kid, this won't even be broadcast for a couple of months!" Harry Friedman yelled.

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T LIVE?!"

"You actually thought it was?" Hobbes said groaning.

"LISTEN HERE! I WON! I'M THE REAL CHAMPION! I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! YOU'RE ALL BIASED AGAINST ME! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU ALL LOOSE YOUR JOBS FOR RIG-"

 ** _WHISH!_**

 ** _"CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"_**

"Uh-oh..." Calvin groaned.

It was his parents, and they were fuming.

"CALVIN! WHY DID YOU PUT CHLORINE IN OUR COFFEE?!" Calvin's Dad yelled.

"It wasn't me! It was a duplicate!"

"DON'T GIVE US THAT EXCUSE YOUNG MAN!" Calvin's Mom yelled.

"Wait, is this your kid?" Harry Friedman asked.

"YES! HE'S ONLY SIX! AND HE PROBABLY DID THIS SO HE COULD SNEAK ON THE SHOW HIMSELF TO REPLACE ME!" Calvin's Dad said furiously.

"I knew he was lying to me! The contestant coordinator said angrily.

"Well your son here obviously lied his way on here, and he made a fool of himself, and we believe he cheated somehow so-

Harry Friedman never finished his sentence as Calvin's Parents began chasing Calvin.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Calvin yelled as he ran out of the set.

"Well, might as well start heading back home. I'll make sure he's comfy in his room when he gets back there and is confined in there for quite some time." Hobbes said snickering.

To this day, nobody at Sony Pictures Studios talks about that incident, and it goes down in infamy today, and the episode was scrapped and re-shot with another contestant, but Paul still won it, which didn't surprise anybody.

Even to this day, Alex Trebek questions how he didn't loose his sanity along with the various other people who work on the set of Jeopardy!

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

 **Mom/Jennifer: Scarlett Johansson**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **Alex Trebek as Himself**_

 _ **Johnny Gilbert as Himself**_

 _ **Harry Friedman as Himself**_

 _ **Kevin Costner as the Contestant Coordinator**_

 ** _Paul Jennings: Ken Jennings_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 9A: Punching and Yelling - Calvin winds up coaching a game for the school's soccer team, with disastrous results.**


	16. 9A: Punching and Yelling

_**Punching and Yelling-**_ **Written by NMMacc18.**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin winds up coaching a game for the school's soccer team, with disastrous results.**

* * *

Calvin wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Why?

Was it because he lost some game to Hobbes?

Was it because he had to do something that his Dad said would "build character"?

Was it because Rosalyn was coming to babysit him again?

Well if you guessed any of these, you are wrong.

Calvin was in a bad mood because he was sentenced to work the concession cart for the games at his school's football/soccer/track field.

"GET YOUR CONCESSIONS! GET YOUR STUPID, LOUSY, OVERPRICED CONCESSIONS!" Calvin said very agitated as he walked the cart around the stands.

"I don't think that's going to get you any customers Calvin." Hobbes remarked.

"WELL I'M WASTING MY ENTIRE SUNDAY DOING THIS! WHEN I COULD BE DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL RATHER THAN DO THIS BEFORE I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THIS STUPID INSTITUTION TOMORROW!"

"Can you stop screaming?"

"NO! THIS IS VIOLATING MY RIGHTS! THIS COUNTS AS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!"

"Hey kid can you pipe it down? We're trying to watch a game here!" A parent yelled from the stands.

"Calvin, you rigged a trap that caused everyone in the teachers' lounge to get doused in Gatorade. I think this is a suitable punishment."

"OH SO YOUR TAKING _THEIR_ SIDE HUH?!"

"No its not that its-"

Hobbes never finished his sentence as Calvin lunged at him, and the two began fighting all over the field, which everyone saw as a kid fighting a stuffed tiger, with the kid seeming to be loosing.

However, the two ended up crashing into a water jug, and knocking it over.

"Now look what you've done furball!" Calvin said annoyed.

"MY fault?! You caused this all!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Hey kid!" One of the kids from the soccer team said.

"What do you want bub?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Why did you knock down our water jug?!"

"It wasn't me! It was my dumb tiger Hobbes!"

The kid looked down at Hobbes, who was a stuffed tiger.

"Uh yeah, sure..."

"Are you calling me a liar?" Calvin said annoyed with his fists raised.

"No! But um, could you do something for us?"

"Why should I?"

"Well, our coach is running late and we need someone to coach us or we'll have to forfeit the game." The kid explained.

"And WHY should I help you chumps?"

"Because if we don't win this game, we'll miss the playoffs for the first time in like, 32 years." The kid explained.

"Oh please! That's nothing! You should've seen fleabag here whining when the Red Wings missed the playoffs for the first time in like 25 years! That's nothing!"

"32 is bigger than 25."

"I'M NOT GOOD AT MATH OKAY?!"

"What is it going to take for you to coach us?"

"Money."

"Fine! We'll pay you after!"

"Can't you do it now?"

"No! We'll pay you like 20 bucks after! Alright?"

"Fine! But I better see that money after the game." Calvin said grumbling as he walked over to the other players, who were sitting on the bench.

"ALRIGHT! LISTEN UP MAGGOTS!" Calvin began as he looked at the players, "Your regular coach is running late, and so until he gets here, I shall be coaching you to victory."

"What's your name?" One of the kids asked.

"Oh yeah! My name is Calvin, Calvin the Bold to be exact. You shall refer to me as Coach Calvin, Calvin: Boy of Destiny, or Calvin the Bold only. Call me anything other than that, and prepare to suffer." Calvin said calmly, but was scaring the others.

"What's with the stuffed tiger?"

"For your information, he is NOT a stuffed tiger. His name is Hobbes, and yes, he is a tiger, now get over it!" Calvin said annoyed. The kids rolled their eyes.

 _ **TWEET!**_

"Alright! Lets get this game rolling!" The soccer ref boomed.

"Alright, uh... go where ever you guys go." Calvin said.

"We don't even have a lineup!" A kid yelled.

"Well that's not my problem!"

"JUST TELL US WHERE TO GO!"

"Fine! Okay, you two go play point guard, you three play defensive end, you five play the wings, and you play goal." Calvin said as he pointed at random kids, they looked at him confused.

"GO ON THE FIELD YOU TWITS!" Calvin said annoyed. The 11 kids Calvin had pointed at went to their positions.

"Geez, talk about stupid..." Calvin said annoyed.

"Well, you didn't even NAME any soccer positions. You gave names for Basketball and Football positions." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up fleabag." Calvin said annoyed.

"Okay, uh... Where's the coach for you guys?" The ref said as he came over to Calvin.

"I am! I'm the interim coach until the regular one gets here!" Calvin said.

"Kid, you look a little young to be coaching soccer."

"Oh YEAH?! I'll have you know that I am the greatest soccer coach of all time! I've coached MLB, NASCAR, FBI, and NBA teams! I think I know what I'm doing!" Calvin snapped.

"Sure you do..." The ref said sighing as he walked away.

"Your lies are pathetic." Hobbes remarked.

"Well what ELSE was I supposed to say?!"

Hobbes sighed and walked away.

Calvin's team got off to an okay start, as they got the ball right away, and took it to the opposing goal, but the kid who tried to score kicked the ball, and it missed.

Now at this rate we're only about a minute or two into the game.

But did Calvin care? Of course not!

"HEY! YOU! YEAH YOU! WHO MADE THAT LOUSY SHOT! GET YOUR BUTT ON THIS NICE FROZEN BENCH! BECAUSE YOUR BENCHED FOR THE REST OF THE GAME!" Calvin screamed at the top of his lungs.

"But Coach Calvin, we're not even two minutes into the game!" The kid said in protest as he came off the field, and another went on for him.

"DON'T YOU BACK SASS ME! GET YOUR BUTT ON THAT BENCH BEFORE I PUT IT THEIR PERMANENTLY!"

The kid scurried to the bench and didn't even look back at Calvin.

So Calvin kept yelling and screaming like your average nutty soccer coach who acts like every game is the World Cup final.

"Calvin, you need to calm down, the score's tied 0-0, and we're only 15 minutes into the game!" Hobbes said, trying to calm him down.

"It doesn't matter Hobbes! These kids need to learn discipline, and I'm going to be the one to give it to them!" Calvin said in his defense.

"Calvin, you've benched 4 kids already just for making tiny mistakes, missing shots, and even getting pushed down! Plus, the parents aren't that pleased." Hobbes pointed out.

And he was right, the parents were fuming.

"GET THAT STUPID REPLACEMENT COACH OUTTA HERE!" One parent yelled.

"YEAH! HE BENCHED MY KID JUST BECAUSE HE GOT KNOCKED TO THE GROUND!" Another yelled.

"SHUT UP PHILISTINES! OR I'LL GET YOU ALL THROWN OUT AND BANNED FROM THIS FIELD!" Calvin screamed back. Hobbes rolled his eyes and walked away.

Then, a few minutes later, one of the kids from the other team managed to take a shot from the middle of the field and it went in, though the goalie for Calvin's team made a good effort to try and save it.

Calvin, was not too pleased.

"HEY! HE CAN'T KICK FROM THAT FAR! THAT'S CHEATING! PLUS HE KNOCKED DOWN LOONS ON MY TEAM! OH YEAH! AND HE WAS OFF-SIDES I THINK!" Calvin yelled at the ref, who then ran over to Calvin.

"Kid, he got a good shot and it went in. Plus, the furthest defense-men was near your team's goal post. And your just making up the part of him knocking people down." The ref said annoyed.

"SHUT UP YOU LIAR! ITS OBVIOUS YOUR TRYING TO RIG IT FOR THE OTHER TEAM! YOUR SUPPOSED TO RIG IT FOR US! WE'RE THE HOME TEAM YOU FOOL!"

 ** _TWEET!_**

The ref pulled out his yellow card and gestured it at Calvin.

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A YELLOW! READ THE FIRST AMENDMENT YOU MORON!" Calvin screamed in anger, with a few kids trying to restrain him.

"One more remark like that kid and I'm throwing you out!" The ref said as he walked away annoyed.

"Calm down Coach Calvin!"

"GET OFF ME YOU IDIOTS! YOU'RE BENCHED AS WELL!" Calvin screamed as the kids that tried to restrain Calvin ran to the bench.

"YOU!" Calvin said pointing at one kid.

"Who me?"

"YES YOU! GO REPLACE OUR LOUSY EXCUSE FOR A GOALIE NOW!"

"But Coach Calvin, Bill is our backup goalie! Put him in!"

"I JUST BENCHED HIM FOR TRYING TO PREVENT ME FROM BEATING UP THE REF! DO IT OR ELSE! AND TELL THE GOALIE HE'S BENCHED TO!" Calvin screamed, the kid didn't hesitate.

Soon the half ended, and Calvin prepared to give an "inspirational speech" to the players.

"I really don't think this is going to help." Hobbes remarked.

"It will, they need to learn to work hard and be a team."

"Calvin, your the only one not acting like a team player, your acting like the coaches from Friday Night Tykes: Steel Country."

"Shut up furball or I'm demoting you to club fool in G.R.O.S.S."

Calvin approached the team and cleared his voice, and began to speak.

"Alright you idiots! That was the most pathetic excuse for soccer I have ever seen! You people are terrible! We're never going to win at this rate we're playing! So I want you go to go and give me 5 laps around the field, and I'm sure that will allow us to win!"

"But we're tired as is! We'll be worn out!"

"SHUT UP! YOUR BENCHED AS WELL!"

So the team ran 5 laps and by the time they finished, half time was over and the game began again.

To everyone's surprise, Calvin's strategy somehow worked and they managed to score two goals and get up in the game 2-1.

"Ha! This game is good as won!" Calvin said with about 15 minutes left in the game.

"I wouldn't speak so soon. Anything can happen in 15 minutes." Hobbes remarked.

"What makes you say that?"

 _ **TWEET!**_

Calvin turned around to see that the game had been tied 2-2.

"HEY! GOALIE! YOUR BENCHED! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!" Calvin screamed.

"But Coach Calvin, who's going to go in? None of us have goalie experience!" One kid said.

"You are!" Calvin said, "Now get out there before your benched!" The kid sighed and went in as goalie.

About five minutes later, one of the players from the other team got the ball, and got to the box, and accidentally caused one of the players on Calvin's defense to trip and fall, and ended up scoring.

"HE WAS OFF! HE WAS OFF! HE KNOCKED MY PLAYER DOWN! WHERE'S THE CARD!" Calvin screamed as he charged up toward the ref.

"Kid, that goal was clean and you know it!"

"NO IT WASN'T! QUIT RIGGING IT YOU IDIOT!"

 _ **TWEET!**_

"GET OUTTA HERE KID!" The ref said as he showed a red card to Calvin.

"YOU CAN'T THROW ME OUT! I'M USING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH YOU ATHEIST!"

"THAT'S IT! THE GAME IS FORFEITED!" The ref said.

"WHY YOU!" Calvin yelled as he grabbed the soccer ball and chucked it right at the refs head, and fell down.

"Hey! You can't do that to the ref!" One of the kids from the other team yelled.

"I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!" Calvin yelled as he attacked the kid.

What resulted was a full blown riot, the people in the stands ran out into the field trying to get Calvin, the ref tried to restore order, but it was no use at all. While the riot was still going, Calvin and Hobbes made an escape from it and started home.

"Sheesh, your Principal is going to go into conniptions when he hears about that!" Hobbes remarked.

"Oh please! Spithead won't find out! Heck he won't even care! He's got better things to worry about than worrying about a stupid soccer game!" Calvin remarked.

"That team you coached isn't going to the playoffs for the first time in 32 years, I think someone will have a problem with that."

"Yeah I know, but it can't be anyone too important." Calvin said, shrugging it off.

Boy, Calvin sure was wrong.

 _ **The next day...**_

The Superintendent was in his office drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. However, he spit it out when he saw the headline from the newspaper.

 _ **Bill Watterson Elementary School Misses Soccer Playoffs for first time in 32 years.**_

 _In Sunday's soccer match to determine who would advance to the playoffs between Bill Watterson Elementary School and Bob Jones Elementary School turned out to be a chaotic one. In a game that was later forfeited as a 3-2 victory for the Bob Jones Raindrops, was marred by a riot with ten minutes left with the game, when an interim coach for Bill Watterson Elementary School (Who was replacing Coach Eckhart, who couldn't make it for unknown reasons) only known as Calvin charged the ref when the opposing team scored what would become the game winning goal simply because it was dirty. Calvin was given a red card, and then proceeded to throw the game ball at the ref, and then began fighting with a player from the other team..._

The Superintendent was furious, and he got in his car and drove to Bill Watterson Elementary School.

Principal Spittle was working in his office when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in."

The soccer coach came in.

"Ah Coach Eckhart, I heard about the loss, must've been a hard-fought one I believe."

"Well, I got stuck in this really bad traffic jam from some big accident and I missed it! The kids told me some kid named Calvin coached them, and benched many of them for dumb reasons, and ignited a riot!" The coach said.

"What?! That's the first I've heard of this!"

Then, the Superintendent burst open the door.

 _ **SSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_

"Oh! Mr. Superintendent!" Principal Spittle said in surprise.

"Spittle, in case you had no idea what cost us of going to the playoffs... READ THIS!" The Superintendent boomed as he shoved the article in Principal Spittle's face.

He was livid, and so was the coach.

"I can't believe this! That stupid kid made us look bad, and cost us a shot at the playoffs! This is ridiculous!" The coach said angry.

"Oh, don't worry. He'll be having a nice discussion with us." Principal Spittle said as he grabbed for his PA system.

"No need Spittle, I'll get the kid myself!" The Superintendent boomed as he stormed to Miss Wormwood's classroom.

"...and so, if we carry the two into the tens column-"

 _ **WHAM!**_

"Ah! Mr. Superintendent! How nice of you to-" Miss Wormwood began before she saw the Superintendent dragging Calvin out of the classroom.

"Oh come on! Your seriously making this big of a deal over it?! It was a lousy soccer game! Those kids sucked anyway! Along with the ref! So blame the ref for this whole mess! Not me!" Calvin yelled in protest as he was dragged down to Principal Spittle's office.

Miss Wormwood sighed and simply went on with teaching.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Kids: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Kids/Parent: Owen Wilson**

 **Miss Wormwood/Parent: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 ** _The Soccer Ref: Liam Neeson_**

 ** _The Soccer Coach: Aaron Eckhart_**

 ** _The Superintendent: Dennis Quaid_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 9B: Wagon School -** **Calvin sees a wagon race and is horrified at their driving skills, so he opens a Wagon Driving School as a result.**


	17. 9B: Wagon School

**Sorry for the lack of updates as of late. We've been busy lately, but fear not! Our goal is to get Season One finished before August ends! Also, thanks for 1,000 views!**

* * *

 _ **Wagon School-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin sees a wagon race and is horrified at their driving skills, so he opens a Wagon Driving School as a result.**

* * *

It was another day in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. Calvin and Hobbes were relaxing in the local park.

"Darn, I wish something interesting happened around here." Calvin said as he and Hobbes looked around.

"Well, its probably better this way, because you don't know what could happen here..." Hobbes said shuddering.

"Oh please, your just a sissy." Calvin said rolling his eyes as they strolled toward a big hill.

They saw five kids in wagons, who looked like they were going to do a race.

"Hey look, looks like a wagon race!" Hobbes pointed out.

"Like I didn't see that." Calvin said rolling his eyes as looked at it.

"Ready, set, go!" One of the kids said as they began to roll down the hill.

The five kids rolled down the hill, wobbling with the wagons all the way down.

A kid with a checkered flag signaled the end of the race, and the race ended.

"Rematch!" Another kid yelled.

"OK." said another. The kids pulled their wagons up the hill.

At the top of the hill, Calvin and Hobbes looked disgusted.

Well, Calvin was the only one looking disgusted.

Then, the five kids raced again, but this time, they were wobbling, and they were going out of control and ended up going backwards when they finished.

"Well, they're certainly better than you when it comes to riding a wagon." Hobbes remarked.

Calvin ignored him and stormed over to the kids.

"HEY! YOU FIVE BUBS!"

"What?" The first kid said confused as Calvin stormed over.

"YOU CALL THAT WAGON DRIVING?!"

"Uh... yes?" The second kid said.

"NO IT NOT! YOU'RE ALL HORRIBLE AT THIS! YOU ARE ORDERED BY ME TO COME TO WAGON SCHOOL AT MY HOUSE TOMORROW!"

"Where do you live even?" The third kid asked.

"Uh... Hold on, let me write it down..." Calvin said as he grabbed a paper and pencil that just happened to be in his pocket, and scribbled it down.

"So what are gonna learn?" The fourth kid asked.

"You'll find out tomorrow! So be there, OR ELSE..." Calvin said in a dark tone before walking away back home with Hobbes.

"Wagon school? Are you sure your parents didn't drop you on your head when you were little?" Hobbes remarked as they walked home.

"Oh come on Hobbes, those kids need to learn to PROPERLY ride a wagon." Calvin said in defense.

"Yeah sure, you'll teach them how to nearly kill themselves like you always do." Hobbes shot back.

"Shut up, you'll find out tomorrow. Now come on, I got a lot of planning to do." Calvin said as they continued on home.

 ** _The next day..._**

In Calvin's backyard, Calvin had set up a long folding table he had gotten in the basement where the kids could sit, and a large folding table that would serve as his desk. He also had a white board to use as well.

"I don't think this is the greatest idea Calvin." Hobbes remarked as they finished setting up.

"Oh shut up Hobbes, your just a wussy that's all. Now shut up and prepare to be me teaching assistant." Calvin said.

"Teaching assistant?!"

"Yes, its not that hard of a job, you just have to do whatever I tell to you that's all. So be ready! Those kids will be here any minute!" Calvin said as he sat at the desk. Hobbes sighed.

The kids strolled into Calvin's backyard and took their seats, looking a little nervous.

"Greetings peasants, welcome to Wagon School! We're you'll learn to PROPERLY ride a wagon!" Calvin said proudly.

The kids looked at each other nervously.

"For starters, my name is Professor Calvin, and I'll be your teacher for this course. You shall refer to me only as Professor Calvin, Doctor Calvin, Calvin the Bold, Calvin: Boy of Destiny, Calvin the Grand, Calvin the Amazing, Dictator for Life Calvin..."

 _ **Ten Minutes Later...**_

"-or Supremo Calvino Ultima the First!" Calvin said after he finished listing off all the names that he would only accept as being called as, and none of them were simply Calvin.

"Half of those I've never even heard you say you wanted to be called..." Hobbes remarked. Calvin ignored him.

Then, one of kids raised their hand.

"What do you want er..."

"My name is Owen Professor Calvin." The kid said.

"Very well then Owen... What do you want?" Calvin said.

"What's with the stuffed tiger?"

"THAT'S IT! YOUR EXPELLED!" Calvin yelled as he grabbed a water balloon he had been hiding and threw it right at Owen, who then made a mad dash for it, but Calvin wasn't done yet. He grabbed a water gun he had with him and sprayed it at him. Except it was filled with PAINT. Owen ran all the way back to his house screaming and crying. Calvin was pleased.

"Alright, anybody ELSE want to ask a stupid question that will get them expelled?" Calvin asked as he returned.

The remaining four kids shook their heads in fear.

"Good! So now, this is my teaching assistant Hobbes. Yes he's a tiger now get over it!" Calvin said. The kids looked at each other confused, but decided that nothing was worth angering Calvin.

"So! Lets start our first lesson!" Calvin said as he drew a very bad picture of Susie on the board, which of course was meant to mock her, because what else would Calvin be trying to do?

"Uh, what does this have to do with learning to drive a wagon?" Hobbes whispered to Calvin as he finished his drawing.

"It doesn't, but it needs to be addressed." Calvin said.

The kids looked at the drawing confused.

"Alright peasants, can anyone tell me what this hideous creature is?" Calvin said as he pointed at his drawing.

The four kids stared at Calvin blankly.

"Geez, you people are stupid! This creature right here is known as a 'girl', which is the most hideous and most disgusting thing to ever exist." Calvin said as he pointed at the picture about ten times to prove his point.

One of the kids raised their hand.

"What's your name?" Calvin asked annoyed.

"Tom."

"Very well then, Tom... What do you want?" Calvin asked annoyed.

"What does this have to do with learning to drive a wagon?" Tom asked.

Remember what Calvin did to that Owen kid? Yeah, that's basically what happened to Owen as well, as well as two of the other kids after the lesson had actually started because they got the question Calvin asked them wrong.

So basically, it was Calvin, Hobbes, and the one kid that Calvin hadn't "expelled" yet, whose name was Jeremy.

"Alright Jeremy, since you're the only one that has actually shown some dedication to this class, and being the only to have not been expelled yet, I have decided to give you the final exam. If you fail, you get expelled. If you pass, then you get to go on to actually driving the wagon. Begin, you got 10 minutes." Calvin said as he shoved a paper with several questions in front of Jeremy.

Jeremy knew what Calvin was teaching him wasn't right at all, but he figured he should just answer them so he could please Calvin, and not end up with the same fate as his other friends.

After ten minutes had passed, Calvin took the test.

"Alright Hobbes, grade it." Calvin said as he shoved the paper to Hobbes.

"Why me?! This is _YOUR_ class! Not mine! You grade it!" Hobbes said as he attempted to give it back to Calvin.

Calvin slowly began to reach for his water gun filled with paint and a water balloon.

"Okay fine! I'll grade it!" Hobbes said annoyed as he began to correct it. A few minutes later, he finished and handed it back to Calvin.

"So how'd he do?" Calvin asked.

"He got a perfect score." Hobbes said.

"You hear that Jeremy! You passed! You are one step away from becoming part of the first graduating class of Wagon School!" Calvin said.

"A graduating class of one huh? I don't think you need a whole ceremony for _THAT_..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes, Calvin ignored him.

"So how is this going to work?" Jeremy asked as he got into Calvin's wagon.

"Simple Jeremy, just drive the wagon, do what I tell you to, and you'll pass. Not rocket science..." Calvin said annoyed, as if it was obvious.

"So when are we going to go?" Jeremy asked.

"Oh! Uh, in a second... COME ON AND GIVE US A PUSH HOBBES!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes groaned, and proceeded to give a big push to the wagon out of the driveway, and onto the sidewalk.

"Okay, so if you start to lose speed, just turn the handle on the wagon and you should be good. Also be sure to hog the entire sidewalk, so nobody can get in your way." Calvin said calmly as he scribbled something down on a clipboard.

"Uh, okay..." Jeremy said confused, as the two went crazy down the sidewalk, and going into the grass of some yards because Calvin made Jeremy do so.

Soon, they came up to Moe's house. Moe was throwing a football around with one of his friends.

"Okay, see that big mutant freak and his friend playing with that football?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Swerve into the yard and try and run them over if you can okay?"

"Wait, what?"

"Let me do it!" Calvin said as he grabbed the handle and swerved the wagon straight into Moe, knocking him down, but they went on.

"Woah! What happened?!" Moe's friend said as he came over to him.

"I dunno, but twinky is gonna get it good next time I see him..." Moe grumbled as he laid on the ground in pain.

Soon, the two were riding toward a freeway.

"Alright Jeremy, if you can manage riding right by a freeway, then get us back to my house, then you'll pass." Calvin said calmly.

"Ok." Jeremy said, still a little nervous, since he thought something bad was going to happen.

And boy, was he right.

Without warning, the wagon suddenly went over a huge bump, and they flew over the fence and were riding right onto the freeway.

"AUGH! I GOT IT!" Calvin yelled in panicked as he grabbed the handle, and started to swerve it away from the freeway, but then they hit ANOTHER bump in the grass right near the freeway, but then an umbrella deployed and sent them flying in the air. They were silent for a few minutes.

"So uh, do I pass?" Jeremy asked to Calvin, who was very annoyed.

"Well, I-" Calvin began before a bird that was flying by slammed through the umbrella, creating a big hole in it, and the two fell down, right in Calvin's backyard.

"Wagon School has been officially disbanded. Get outta here." Calvin said annoyed as he laid on the ground frustrated. Jeremy ran off and went to look for his friends.

"So how did the drivers' test go?" Hobbes asked as he walked up to Calvin.

"Shut up..." Calvin said annoyed as he got up.

"So, you regret making this?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes, this was a stupid idea, I should've rented a school to do this in instead." Calvin grumbled. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"So did you learn anything from this?" Hobbes asked.

 _ **CALVIN! I'VE BEEN GETTING SEVERAL CALLS FROM PARENTS SAYING YOU THREW WATER BALLOONS AT THEM AND SPRAYED THEM WITH PAINT! WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!**_ Calvin's Mom yelled.

"That those kids are chronic liars and they deserved everything I did to them. C'mon, lets get outta here before Mom can catch me." Calvin said as he and Hobbes grabbed the wagon and rode into the forest, with Calvin's Mom in close pursuit.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Tom/Kids 3 and 4: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Owen: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Moe/Jeremy: Jeremy Irons**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 10A: Technical Father - Calvin's Dad hits his mid-life crisis and decides to become a Basketball Ref.**


	18. 10A: Tuna Heist

**Well, sorry for the long delay. School started for me and I've been busy with that, soccer, homework, etc. Also, I couldn't think of anything good for Technical Father, so I grabbed an episode we wrote on the wiki and made it for this episode. The episode length has been cut down to 15 for this season, and my goal is to get this done before September is over with!**

* * *

 _ **Tuna Heist-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin tries to rob the supermarket of all its tuna so Hobbes stops trying to eat Calvin at night.**

* * *

One peaceful night, Calvin and Hobbes were sound asleep in bed.

This was about to change however.

"Mmm, something smells good..." Hobbes said sleepily, with his eyes still closed as he started crawling around the bed.

"Wha?" Calvin said as he woke up after hearing Hobbes murmuring.

"Mmm... Smells like Nirvana, no wait, smells like human..." Hobbes said, still sleep talking. Calvin was confused, but then realized that Hobbes was dreaming about food again.

However, after Calvin realized it, Hobbes lunged at him and attempted to eat him.

"OW! HEY! LEGGO YOU FLEABAG! YOUR DREAMING! HEY! HEY!" Calvin yelled as he tried to break free from Hobbes' grasp.

Meanwhile, Calvin's parents were sleeping peacefully in their room before they were woken up with a startle.

"GET OFF ME! YOU'LL BE PAYING FOR MY MEDICAL BILLS IF YOU EAT ME YOU MORON!" Calvin yelled in a muffled voice.

"Not again..." Calvin's Mom said sighing as she got up and started walking towards Calvin's room.

The next morning, Hobbes was down at the kitchen table eating breakfast when Calvin walked in groggily.

"Ugh, I'm so tired..." Calvin said tiredly as he went to pour himself some Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

"I feel so rested, I had one of the best sleeps of my life last night!" Hobbes said proudly.

"Yeah, because you were trying to eat me as usual..." Calvin said annoyed.

"Well, I crave tuna, and if I don't have my tuna, I'll start trying to eat humans, that's just how tigers operate." Hobbes explained.

"That makes no sense at all!" Calvin said back.

"Come on Calvin, we're going to the store." Calvin's Mom said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Good! Anything to prevent this wild animal from eating me alive!" Calvin said as he hopped down from his chair and started walking away. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

While Calvin and his Mom were at the store, Calvin was paying close attention to something.

And no, it wasn't some new brand of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

He was paying close attention to the tuna the store had, he was taking so much notice, the the manager of the supermarket noticed.

"That kid most have some liking or disgust to Tuna..." The Manager said as he saw Calvin and his Mom leave, shaking his head.

Later, Calvin and Hobbes were in Calvin's room reading comic books.

"You know, if you want me to stop trying to eat you at night, you could get me some tuna." Hobbes said.

"That's what I'm planning on doing on my own." Calvin replied back.

"How?" Hobbes asked suspiciously.

"I'll get you so much Tuna, that you won't even know what to do with it all!" Calvin said grinning evilly.

"What are you up to now?" Hobbes asked groaning.

"None of your business." Calvin said sticking out his tongue.

"I'm not going to even bother this time..." Hobbes said sighing.

 _ **The Next Day at the Supermarket...**_

The next day, Calvin left a note saying that he was going to the library for the day, and went to the supermarket with his Stupendous Man costume on.

"With my genius disguise, this heist will be a piece of cake!" Calvin said confidently as he ran into the supermarket and went straight to the tuna isle, and began to start stacking all the tuna in a large bag he had brought.

Calvin thought nobody was noticing, since the store had just opened about 15 minutes ago and nobody was really in there at the time.

But he was wrong, as usual.

In his office, the Manager was watching the security cameras.

"Hmm, seems normal, wait, what's that?" The Manager said as he saw something on one of the screens that caught his eye.

He looked at the one screen to see Calvin in his Stupendous Man costume putting tuna in the bag.

"Great, a loon trying to steal my entire tuna supply for the store, just what I needed today..." The Manager said sighing as he left his office.

Eventually, Calvin finishing putting all the tuna in the bag.

"Finally! Now to get this back home to Hobbes!" Calvin said happily.

"Hey kid! Don't move a muscle!" The Manager yelled as he ran up to Calvin.

"Oh crud!" Calvin yelled as he ran off with the bag and out of the store, with the manager chasing him.

"Get back here with my tuna kid!" The Manager yelled as he chased Calvin through the parking lot.

"No way! I need this so my tiger doesn't almost eat me!" Calvin yelled back as he continued to run.

"Wait what?" The Manager said confused at Calvin's comment, causing him to stop in his tracks to comprehend what Calvin just told him.

Calvin, now with some distance between him and the Manager, grabbed a skateboard that was left unattended and zoomed off with it.

"Ha! I'm home free now!" Calvin said happily.

"Oh we'll see about that!" The Manager yelled back as he dialed 911 on his cell phone.

"Operator! There's a crazy kid in a superhero costume who robbed my tuna!" The Manager yelled into his cell phone.

"Uh... okay... I'll tell some of our officers around the area to keep a look out for him." The Operator said somewhat confused.

"That kid took all of my tuna! ALL OF IT!" The Manager yelled in fury.

"All of it?! Geez, that kid must love tuna or something..." The Operator said surprised.

Meanwhile, a police officer was sitting in his squad car, bored out of his mind, waiting for something to happen.

"Hey Kevin, be on the look out for a kid in a superhero costume. He stole all the tuna from the supermarket, and the manager is furious." The Operator said.

"All right, I'll be on the lookout. Why don't I ever get any normal calls?" The Officer said sighing.

"I ask myself the same question every day." The Operator said.

Meanwhile, Calvin was cruising away on the skateboard.

"Ha! That was a breeze! Now to get this to Hobbes and I'll be able to sleep like a king tonight! Ha ha!" Calvin said triumphantly.

Unfortunately for Calvin, the police car approached and started chasing Calvin, with its flashers and sirens going after him.

"Hey! Stop right where you are kid!" The Officer yelled from his car.

"I'm not a kid! I'm STUPENDOUS MAN! Advocate of Liberty! Foe of Tyranny!" Calvin said back.

"Whatever, _Stupendous Man_... Just give up and surrender and make our jobs a whole lot easier okay?" The Officer said, wanting to be done with the situation as fast as possible.

"Never! Stupendous Man will never admit defeat!" Calvin yelled back.

"Oh yeah? Well I'll have you know that I can-" The Officer began to say before noticing Calvin had vanished.

"Great, now I got to look on foot for a kid in a superhero costume. Just what I wanted to do today..." The Officer said sighing as he got out of his car.

Calvin ran as fast as he could through the forest and up to his house.

"Okay, now just to get this tuna to Hobbes and..." Calvin began saying before he saw several cop cars pulled up in front of his house.

"Oh, crud..." Calvin said groaning.

"ALRIGHT KID PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" Another Officer yelled from his loudspeaker.

"NEVER!" Calvin yelled as he started to run off, but got tackled by the officer that was chasing him at first and dragged him into his cop car.

"Alright kid, your trial is today at noon, so we're taking you down to the courthouse for it. If the jury finds you guilty, you'll have to go to jail." The Officer said.

"WHAT?! THEY CAN'T THROW ME IN JAIL! I'M ONLY SIX! BESIDES I HAD A VALID REASON FOR DOING THIS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I GO THROUGH!" Calvin yelled as the cop car sped off. Hobbes watched this all unfold and sighed.

"Well, better find that court channel so I can watch his trial..." Hobbes said sighing as he went downstairs.

Not that long later, on the 3rd floor of the Chagrin Falls Courthouse, which is dedicated for small and petty crimes only, Calvin's trial was about to begin.

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Richard Lazarus in the court case of Calvin v. Stop and Shop Supermarket." The Bailiff said as the people in the courtroom stood as Judge Lazarus took his position at the bench.

"Please be seated for the court case of Calvin v. Stop and Shop Supermarket. Plaintiff may rise." The Judge said as the Manager stood up.

"This morning, I noticed on my security cameras in the supermarket I'm manager of, Stop and Shop Supermarket, to see some kid in a superhero costume was stealing my entire supply of tuna!" The Manger boomed.

"The police were informed and we managed to catch him after we tracked him to his house, but it wasn't easy..." The Officer said glaring at Calvin, who proceeded to roll his eyes.

"I see... Defendant, do you defend this statement?" The Judge asked to Calvin.

"Yes I do your honor. Icky girls and gentlemen of the jury, I was trying to steal all the tuna to give to my roommate!" Calvin said.

"So your roommate loves tuna?" The Judge asked curiously.

"Of course he does! He's a tiger you imbecile!" Calvin said annoyed.

Judge Lazarus burst out laughing.

"HA! A tiger for a roommate! If that was true you wouldn't be here right now!" The Judge said laughing.

"I know that you fool! Last night he tried to EAT ME! And I have proof!" Calvin said as he showed a picture of Hobbes, in stuffed animal form, getting eaten by Calvin.

How the picture ended up like that, we'll never know.

"Uhh..." Calvin said confused, not realizing the picture was going to be used against him.

"Mr. Calvin, if we cannot get a true story out of you, we'll have to take this to the jury." The Judge said firmly.

But before Calvin could say anything else, the jury went into deliberation, and came back less than two minutes later.

"So the jury has already reached a verdict I assume?" The Judge asked as the jury filed back in.

"We have your honor. We the jury find the defendant, guilty." The Juror said.

WHAT?! THIS COURTROOM IS RIGGED, ISN'T IT?! YOU PAID THE JURY OFF DIDN'T YOU JUDGE OSIRIS?! I HOPE YOU LOSE YOUR JOB!" Calvin screamed as the bailiff had to restrain Calvin because of his outburst, and the Judge banged his gavel for order to be restored.

"Enough! So Mr. Calvin, for robbing a store of all its tuna, resisting arrest, contempt of court, and saying my name wrong, I sentence you to 6 months in the Jail for Six-Year-Olds, which is NOT juvy, nor an adult jail or prison. Case dismissed!" The Judge proclaimed as he banged his gavel.

"LET GO OF ME YOU IDIOTS! MY DAD'S A PATENT ATTORNEY! EVEN THOUGH THAT DOESN'T HELP ME AT ALL! I'LL TAKE THIS TO JUDGE JUDY IF I HAVE TO!" Calvin screamed as he was dragged out of the courtroom. Hobbes sighed as he watched it from TV, knowing he would have to break him out somehow.

A few hours later, Calvin was sitting on a steel bench in his cell, looking bored.

"Hey cop man? Got any comic books?" Calvin asked to the cop guarding his cell.

"No."

"WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!"

"Shut up!" The Cop yelled as he banged his nightstick against the cell to shut Calvin up.

"Psst..."

Calvin looked at the window bars, to see Hobbes waving at him.

"I've come to bust you out." Hobbes whispered.

"About time! But first, I demand an apology." Calvin said annoyed.

Okay, I'm sorry that I tried to eat you. I was just hungry at night." Hobbes said.

"Yeah whatever... But how are you going to bust me out of here?

"I raided a pickup truck." Hobbes said.

"Really? Cool! C'mon! Hurry up so I can get out of this dump!" Calvin said excitedly.

Hobbes hopped into the pickup truck, put it in drive, slammed on the gas, and busted through the wall, and crashed straight into an office, where an officer was about to start a page for Calvin's criminal record on his computer, but got short-term memory loss from Hobbes plowing through. Calvin hopped in the truck and they drove off.

"Good to see you again. And I actually have a suggestion for not eating me at night..." Calvin began to Hobbes, and Hobbes was listening closely, as he knew he owed Calvin big time.

That night, Hobbes found himself sleeping on the kitchen table.

"I don't know why I agreed to this..." Hobbes said grumbling, while Calvin slept peacefully in his room.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Bailiff/Operator: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Cop: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 ** _Judge Lazarus: Robert Downey Jr._**

 ** _An Officer: Kevin James_**

 ** _The Manager: Nick Kroll_**

* * *

 **Next episode: 10B: Calvinhunting-Dr. Scientist sends Hugh and Jack after Calvin and Hobbes.**


	19. 10B: Calvinhunting

_**Calvinhunting-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Dr. Scientist has Hugh and Jack try and get rid of Calvin and Hobbes after they foil his latest plan.**

* * *

It was another ordinary day in Chagrin Falls, Ohio.

 _ **BOOM!**_

Okay, forget everything I just said.

"Ha! Take that on for size Calvin!" A black and white spiky-haired person with a long black and white mustache said as he continued to blast at Calvin and Hobbes on his mini- tank.

"Oh please you nut! You think your that good? Pah! Your just as dumb as your own kid!" Calvin said as he got up from the blast that was sent at him.

And I know what your thinking, what on earth is even going on here?

Well, it was yet another battle Calvin and Hobbes were having yet another battle with Dr. Murdoch Z. Scientist.

Yes, they've had battles in-between episodes, so moving on...

"HEY! DON'T INSULT MY SON YOU NINNY!" Dr. Scientist said in fury, since he took that as an insult toward his son.

And if your wondering who Dr. Scientist's son is, then you probably didn't wat- er, read Dinner With Moe.

So yes, Moe is the son of Dr. Scientist, though it is somewhat believable that they are related.

"I can do whatever I want you dumb doctor! Now lets settle this once and for all!" Calvin said as he grabbed a water balloon and threw it at Dr. Scientist's mini-tank.

The water balloon hit the mini-tank, but didn't seem to effect the tank at all.

"Really? Your best idea to 'finish' this stupid battle was by throwing a water balloon at that tank? That's pathetic..." Hobbes remarked as he came back after being blasted into a tree by Dr. Scientist earlier.

"It wasn't pathetic you fuzzbrain! It's the perfect attack!" Calvin shot back.

"With a water balloon?! Your just ASKING to get killed aren't you?" Hobbes shot back trying to prove his point.

"Like YOU could do any better!"

"I could to!"

"No you couldn't you furball!"

"Can!"

"Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can't!"

This went on for quite some time, and Dr. Scientist was getting bored waiting around for them to stop, so he carefully moved his mini-tank near Calvin and Hobbes so he could easily shoot at them and get rid of them.

But then, when he pressed the button to launch the blast at them, it backfired, and it blew up the entire mini-tank, and Dr. Scientist found himself in the air for a minute, before falling on the ground again on his back.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! MY BACK! MY BACK!" Dr. Scientist screeched in pain and terror.

"See? The water balloon caused the water to leak into the mini-tank, and it caused the entire thing to blow up in his face! Told ya I was right!" Calvin said proudly.

"So you were right about something for once in your life, congratulations..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

Then, an ambulance pulled up. Two EMT workers got out.

"Sir, are you alright? What's hurting you?" The first one asked.

"MY BACK YOU DIMWITTED TWIT! DID YOU NOT SEE ME IN THE _AIR_?!" Dr. Scientist screeched.

"Lets get him to the hospital, he seems to be in pain." The second one said as the two began to lift Dr. Scientist onto a stretcher.

"WHAT?! NO! I DON'T NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL! MY FAMILY ONLY VISITS THE DOCTOR! NOT THE HOSPITAL! I DON'T NEED TO! I'M FINE! I-" Dr. Scientist screeched as he was loaded into the ambulance and took off to the hospital.

"Wanna go home and play Calvinball?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure, anything to forget that pointless encounter." Calvin said as the two began to head back home.

 _ **A few hours later...**_

Dr. Scientist was approaching home, wheeling himself in a wheelchair. The doctors had determined that he didn't break his back, but still needed to be in a wheelchair to help it heal faster.

"I told them I didn't need to go the hospital, and now look what I'm stuck in!" Dr. Scientist said fuming as he approached his house. He tried to open the door, but he couldn't due to him being stuck in his wheelchair, even though he attempted to a dozen times before giving up, and started ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door.

"HUGH! JACK! SOMEONE OPEN UP!" Dr. Scientist screeched.

Meanwhile inside, Hugh and Jack were in the kitchen cooking dinner when they heard Dr. Scientist screaming.

"Did you hear someone yelling?" Hugh asked.

"Yeah! I think its an intruder!" Jack said.

"Yeah! Sure sounded like one!" Hugh said in agreement.

"Quick! Battle stations!" Jack said as he grabbed a Nerf Gun and loaded it up, while Hugh filled up a bucket with ice-cold water and threw a bunch of silverware in it.

"COME ON SOMEONE OPEN UP!" Dr. Scientist screeched as he continued to ring and knock at the door.

Jack ran upstairs to a window and opened it, which was directly above where Dr. Scientist was, and Hugh prepared to open the door.

"Sheesh, either they're death or I'm not screaming loud enough for them to hear me..." Dr. Scientist grumbled.

Then, Jack swished open the door, and shot a round of Nerf bullets at Dr. Scientist.

"ACK! JACK YOU IDIOT STOP! ITS ME!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he tried to protect himself.

Then, Hugh dumped the bucket of ice-cold water with silverware in it, which directly hit Dr. Scientist, and caused his wheelchair to get knocked down.

And his back got hurt even more.

 ** _AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE! MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!_**

A little while later, Dr. Scientist was back home, this time in a portable hospital bed, watching TV.

"So how long are you going to be like that for Dad?" Moe asked.

"Well, I don't know son. It probably would've been for only a week or two in that wheelchair until our two ding-a-ling assistants hear me knocking and ringing at the door and somehow presume that I was some sort of intruder..." Dr. Scientist hissed.

The doctors figured it probably would be a month or two until his back would be totally healed, which made Dr. Scientist angry, because he wouldn't to be able to work on any of his inventions or evil plans, or get rid of Calvin, the list went on for him.

"Need us to get you anything else boss?" Hugh asked as he and Jack came into the living room.

"No you two idiots, you've caused eno-" Dr. Scientist began to say before he came up with an idea.

He realized that if Hugh and Jack were able to cause him to nearly break his back, surely their stupidity would be enough to get rid of Calvin and Hobbes. He grinned at this evilly, believing that it would be the perfect plan.

"Actually, I do have something for you two nincompoops to do. This task you couldn't _possibly_ fail..." Dr. Scientist said grinning.

"Rob another bank? Get back your money printer?" Jack guessed.

"No no, you idiots landed up in jail the last time you tried those things." Dr. Scientist said rolling his eyes.

"Then what do you want us to do?" Hugh asked.

"Eliminate these two pests from my life..." Dr. Scientist said grinning evilly as he handed the two a picture of Calvin and Hobbes.

"How are we going to do that?" Jack asked.

"I don't know! Just do whatever it is you do to attack people and bring them to their knees! Not rocket science!" Dr. Scientist said.

"So we can take anything we need?" Hugh asked hopefully.

"Yeah sure, I don't really care what you two take. Just get rid of those two bozos for me." Dr. Scientist said.

"Okay boss, we promise we won't fail you _this_ time!" Jack said as the two began to scramble for objects they were going to take.

"Yeah, you _better_..." Dr. Scientist grumbled under his breath.

Hugh and Jack filled up their white van with a bunch of random objects and drove off.

"Since I'm driving, you be look out for the two Jack." Hugh said as he sped down the road.

"Alright, I'm on it!" Jack said as he began to look in a creepy way to see if he spotted Calvin and Hobbes.

After driving for about five minutes, they passed Calvin's house, but then Hugh slammed on the brakes.

"Say, isn't that the place where Moe says that kid lives?" Hugh asked as they backed up to the house.

"Yeah! It is! That means he's probably here somewhere!" Jack said in agreement.

So the two got out of the van, grabbed some nets and wrenches, and then began to look for Calvin and Hobbes.

They knew that they probably wouldn't be able to get inside, so they knew there was a chance that they were going to find the two outside.

And then, they heard a voice.

"This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. The Get Rid of Slimy girlS Club will now come to order! With Dictator for Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes presiding!" Calvin called out.

"Hear! Hear!" Hobbes said.

"Was that them?" Hugh asked.

"Probably, lets try and trick them!" Jack said.

"Hey! We have free candy and comic books! Come and get them while they last!" Hugh yelled out for all to hear.

"Who was THAT?" Hobbes asked surprised and confused.

"Oh, its just Dr. Scientist's two idiot minions who were probably sent to try and get rid of me." Calvin said looking down, seeing Hugh and Jack in plain sight.

"What should we do? Call the police?" Hobbes asked.

"Nah, lets have fun with them." Calvin said grinning evilly. Hobbes groaned.

"Oh wow! I'd LOVE to have some free stuff! But can you bring it over here? I'm feeling too lazy." Calvin said, acting like he believed in Hugh and Jack's rouse.

"He bought it! C'mon Hugh!" Jack said as the two crept toward Calvin and Hobbes. When they got to under the tree house, they couldn't find Calvin and Hobbes anywhere.

"Where'd they go?" Hugh asked.

"Beats me." Jack said.

Then, without warning, they got bombarded with water balloons.

"Ha! Take that you two loons!" Calvin yelled as he and Hobbes made a run for it.

"Where are we going to go? They'll get us if we stay here!" Hobbes said to Calvin as we ran.

"Eh, we'll just go to the park for a while, lay low, and we should be alright." Calvin said confidently as they continued to run.

By the time Hugh and Jack were able to see again, Calvin and Hobbes were long gone.

"What are we going to do now?" Hugh asked.

"Simple, we'll just go look for them! They'll have to be SOMEWHERE around Chagrin Falls!" Jack said as the two hopped back into the van and drove off.

As Calvin and Hobbes went down to the park, Hugh and Jack used everything they had with them to try and get rid of them, but they failed every time, and it would set Hugh and Jack a little, so they would have to catch up to Calvin and Hobbes.

But eventually, all Hugh and Jack had left were two butterfly nets, looking at them in disappointment as they sat on a bench in the park.

"Well, we've probably lost them..." Hugh said sighing.

"Yeah, its not like they planed on going to the park or anything..." Jack said in agreement.

But then, they saw Calvin and Hobbes walking through the park.

"Hey look! There they are! Lets get them before they get away again!" Hugh said as he noticed the two.

Hugh and Jack got up and went straight after Calvin and Hobbes.

"Ugh, I thought we lost them for good..." Calvin said sighing as he and Hobbes made a run for it. But Hugh and Jack somehow managed to start trapping Calvin and Hobbes in the butterfly nets, but Calvin kicked the two in the shins, which allowed the two to get away.

"What now?" Jack asked.

"Quick! Get to the van!" Hugh said as they ran back to their van, and drove off trying to find Calvin and Hobbes.

They found Calvin and Hobbes relaxing under a tree in the park, and instead of getting out, they tried to run them down in the van as they plowed through the park.

"Uh Calvin? You might want to consider making a run for it..." Hobbes said nervously.

"Again?" Calvin said before noticing Hugh and Jack were in the van coming straight at them.

"Yeah, I guess we should get out of here..." Calvin said as he and Hobbes ran out of the way just in the nick of time before Hugh and Jack crashed hard into the tree.

Hugh and Jack hopped out a little dizzy, but unhurt.

"We're alive!" Jack yelled out.

"Yeah! And the best part is that there hasn't been a single police officer to stop us all day!" Hugh exclaimed.

Then, Hugh and Jack were surrounded by several police officers. They got handcuffed and thrown into the back of a squad car, which drove off.

"Wow, I'm surprised that I didn't have to call the police." Calvin remarked.

"'Surprised'?" Hobbes asked rolling his eyes.

"Don't worry son, those two weirdos won't be bugging you anytime soon." An Officer said as he walked up to Calvin and Hobbes.

"I doubt it cop dude. I've seen them get arrested before and officers have told me the same thing, and they ended up breaking out." Calvin said.

"Really? How?" The Officer asked, surprised at what Calvin said.

"Well, these two work for this nut-job whose name is Dr. Scientist. I know that sounds like a weird name, but that's his name. He's some insane lunatic who wants to take over the world, and I usually stop him from doing so, and he goes whines like a baby about and occasionally uses those two nincompoops to get rid of me, but usually he's with them as well, so that I'm slightly confused on..." Calvin explained.

The Officer's jaw dropped, he couldn't believe on what he was hearing.

"Well then, if that's the case, I'll make sure this Dr. Scientist person gets arrested as well!" The Officer said as he walked off and began to speak into his radio.

"No matter what happens, you do realize he's going to want to kill us even more when he hears what happened today right?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Do you think I care? We'll beat him again anyways." Calvin replied back.

"True that." Hobbes said as the two began to walk toward home.

Meanwhile at Dr. Scientist's house, he and Moe had been engaging in a heated Madden 18 marathon, until the doorbell rang.

"Go get that for me Moe would ya?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"Sure Dad." Moe said as he got up and opened the door, to see the same officer Calvin had interacted with earlier.

"Oh hello there son. Does there happen to be a person named Murdoch Scientist here? We have a warrant for his arrest." The Officer explained.

"WHAT DID THOSE TWO IDIOTS DO THIS TIME?!" Dr. Scientist screamed.

The Officer simply sighed as a couple of officers stormed inside the house.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood**_

 _ **Hugh: James Franco**_

 _ **Jack: Michael J. Fox**_

 _ **The Officer: Kevin James**_

* * *

 **Next episode: 11:The Forgotten Duplicate-Duplicate 7, a Duplicate that Calvin and Hobbes didn't even know existed, returns to get revenge.**


	20. 11: The Forgotten Duplicate

_**The Forgotten Duplicate-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Hey look, I'm not dead! Sorry, we've just been extremely busy as of late, but my schedule is starting to clear up again, so we'll get out more of these ASAP. My goal is to get the season done before November!**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Duplicate Number 7, an incomplete, but far more stronger and eviller duplicate of Calvin finally manages to track down Calvin, and attempts to kill him as payback for transmogrifying him into a worm all those many years ago...**

* * *

It was 1:42 in the morning. Everyone in Calvin's neighborhood was asleep. However, a dark figure strolled onto Buck Street, and looked down.

"Perfect, just what I need for a runway." The figure said grinning.

He then grabbed a small object out of his pocket, and pressed it. A small aircraft appeared, fit for a six-year old.

The figure hopped in it, pressed a button, and the aircraft swooshed into the air. Nobody heard it take off somehow.

Well, nobody except Calvin and Hobbes of course.

"What was that?" Hobbes said as he peered outside the window to see nothing.

"Beats me, they probably redirected the air traffic or something. All I know that its causing me to lose sleep." Calvin said annoyed as he tried to fall back asleep.

The next morning, Calvin got up, got dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. His father was reading the newspaper.

"Say Calvin, you didn't happen to be in Area 51 last night were you?" Calvin's Dad asked as Calvin sat down at the table.

"No! I was trying to get some sleep! Besides, I didn't even _plan_ on going to Area 51! Well, not yet at least..." Calvin said.

"Well, I was just wondering, because apparently, the place got robbed last night, and some guy gave a description that kinda looked like you." Calvin's Dad said as he showed Calvin the paper with a sketch that resembled him, except without the stripes on his shirt.

"Meh, must be some sort of coincidence." Calvin said as he finished eating breakfast, got his supplies and lunch, and went to the bus stop, which picked him up, and headed toward school.

Calvin sat down and figured it was going to be a normal day, with nothing out of the ordinary going to happen.

Boy, he sure was wrong.

Meanwhile, in some unknown location in some top secret lab, that dark figure walked up to his control board, and pressed a button. Then, a capsule came up, and a robotic version of Calvin came out of it; it was the same height of the dark figure.

"Brilliant... My creation finished..." The figure said grinning as he looked at the robot.

"Um, hello I guess?" The robot said, looking at the figure confused.

"The voice chip works, perfect!" The figure said in glee.

"Do I even have a name?" The robot asked.

"Oh! Yeah! Your name is uh... Metal Calvin! Yeah! Metal Calvin!" The figure said.

"Metal Calvin? That's the best you could come up with?" Metal Calvin said annoyed.

"Yes you buffoon! I created you! You think your name is bad? Mine is even worse!" The figure said annoyed.

"Well, what's your name then?" Metal Calvin asked.

"My name, my name is Duplicate 7." The figure said grinning evilly as he came into better view. He looked exactly like Calvin, except he didn't have any lines on his red shirt.

"Okay, you win at having a pathetic name..." Metal Calvin said sighing.

"Good! Now we can start getting our revenge..." Duplicate 7 said grinning.

"On who?" Metal Calvin asked curiously.

"This abomination!" Duplicate 7 said as he pulled out a picture of Calvin and Hobbes.

"A kid that looks like you and a tiger?" Metal Calvin said confused.

"Well, more the kid than the tiger..." Duplicate 7 said as he tossed the picture aside.

"Dare I ask why?" Metal Calvin asked.

"Many years ago, this kid made some duplicates, and I was the last one to come out, except I was an incomplete duplicate of the kid, Calvin. Eventually, he got made at our performance or whatever and he turned us into worms! I ended up getting separated from the other five duplicates, and I had to fight for myself as a worm, vowing for when I could become a duplicate again, I would get payback on that kid, and then take over the world..." Duplicate 7 explained.

"How did you get turned back into a duplicate then?" Metal Calvin asked curiously.

"Uh... That's a story for another day! Now come on! To the airship! Time to start my plan!" Duplicate 7 said as he walked onto the airship and got it running. Metal Calvin shrugged and got on, and it flew out of the lab, bent toward Chagrin Falls, Ohio.

 **Later...**

Calvin was sitting in Miss Wormwood's class, bored as usual as she was giving a lecture.

"And so, when George Washington was inaugurated President of the United States, the first thing he did wa-

 _ **BING!**_

"Calvin, please report to the Principal's Office immediately!" Principal Spittle said over the loudspeaker.

"Oh come on! I didn't even _DO_ anything today! Now I'm just being framed!" Calvin said in annoyance as he left the classroom and went to the Principal's Office. When he got there, he was surprised to see a police officer there.

"If you donut-eating idiots are here to arrest me, let me be the first to say that I didn't do it." Calvin said coldly as he glared at the Police Officer.

"Look kid, there's been all sorts of robberies happening today, and the culprit seems to fit the description." The Police Officer said as he showed Calvin some surveillance footage from the Chagrin Falls National Bank with Duplicate 7 and Metal Calvin stealing several bags of money.

"Oh come on! That's not me! Sure he looks just like me, but I don't have any plain red shirts!" Calvin said in annoyance.

"Oh really? For all we know, you could've switched shirts..." The Officer hissed.

"OH BALONEY! I WEAR THE SAME SHIRT EVERYDAY! BESIDES I DON'T EVEN HAVE A ROBOT!" Calvin screamed.

The arguing went on for a good half hour, and all Principal Spittle could do was sigh.

Eventually, the day ended, and Calvin was soon dropped off back at home on the bus.

"I'M HOME!" Calvin yelled as he swung open the door and ducked, hoping that he would avoid Hobbes' pounce.

But to his surprise, he felt nothing. He looked up and noticed something didn't look right. He went inside, everything seemed normal at first, but when he went to look in the kitchen, he noticed the table and chairs had been smashed, and the pantry had been ransacked. The sink was gone completely.

Panicked, Calvin ran into the living room, which now was a big mess, with broken glass, pieces, sofa stuffing, etc. all over the place, while all the furniture and the TV was gone.

"MOM! WE GOT ROBBED!" Calvin screamed out now in total panic, but got no reply. He ran upstairs, the toilet, bathtub, and sink were gone. He ran to his parent's bedroom, it looked like nothing had ever been put in the room before. Panicked, he ran to his room, which was a big mess, and several things were missing. Surprisingly, his bed was still there.

"HOBBES! HOBBES?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Calvin screamed as he looked all over his room, to no avail. He then looked in the closet, and saw Hobbes in there, panting heavily.

"HOBBES! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Calvin said thrilled as he hugged his best friend tightly.

"Gah! Give me some air!" Hobbes said as he tried to free himself from Calvin's wrath.

"Relax you sissy, now what happened?!" Calvin said, wanting an explanation.

"Well lets see here, I was in your room draw-I mean reading your comic books, when I heard an explosion. I heard your Mom yelling at why the door exploded or something, and then she was yelling at two people to get out, but these two guys went on a rampage and made a mess of the place, and robbed some stuff to I guess. Your mom ran out of the house screaming, so I don't know where she went off to, but eventually, the two guys came up here, and for a second, I almost thought it was you and you had just gone insane." Hobbes explained.

"What do you mean it was me?" Calvin said confused.

"Well, the one person looked exactly like you, except he didn't have any stripes on his shirt, and the other dude was a robot that resembled you. I tried to fight them off, but they both have these crazy super powers. Well the robot I expected to, but the guy that looked like you was able to throw me all over the room without even moving and stuff." Hobbes explained.

"That must've been the same two that's been responsible for all these robberies today!" Calvin said.

"What robberies?" Hobbes asked confused.

"Some cop came to school today and accused me of being responsible for all of them, and the footage he showed me matches your description of them! I'm getting framed!" Calvin said in fury.

"Well, we better put a stop to this, but how?" Hobbes asked.

But before Calvin could answer, the two heard several tires screeching and sirens blaring.

 _ **ALRIGHT! WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED CALVIN WHATEVER YOUR LAST NAME IS! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!**_

"Get the wagon, we're going out the back." Calvin said. Hobbes nodded and ran off.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU TWITS! MY HOUSE GOT ROBBED TO YOU KNOW!" Calvin yelled out from his window.

 _ **YOU ROBBED YOUR OWN HOUSE TOO?! WHAT KIND OF MAD KID ARE YOU?!**_

"I DIDN'T EVEN DO IT!" Calvin yelled as he ran out back to see Hobbes waiting with the wagon.

"Good thing there aren't any fences here, or else we'd be done for." Hobbes remarked.

"Yeah, so lets ride through the backyards until the end of the street, then we'll take this straight to downtown, and start our hunt there." Calvin said.

"But what if the police start chasing us?" Hobbes asked.

"We'll deal with that when that time comes." Calvin said as he griped his hands firm on the handle, and Hobbes started the wagon off. They were on the hunt for Duplicate 7 and Metal Calvin.

* * *

 _ **Commercial Break**_

* * *

Meanwhile, in a top secret lair, Duplicate 7 was planning his next attack.

"Maybe we should rob the mall. That has tons of goodies in it." He said.

Then, Metal Calvin entered the room, sipping a Diet Pepsi.

"Hey, 7." He said.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" Duplicate 7 yelled, furiously. "Now, get in the jet. We're robbing the mall."

"The mall? Why?"

"It has a lot of goodies."

Metal Calvin shrugged, and followed Duplicate 7 into the jet. It took off.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were riding the wagon at top speed.

They had blazed through the town triangle, and the cop cars were in hot pursuit.

The chief got on a megaphone.

"STOP IN THE NAME OF BILL WATTERSON! PULL THE WAGON OVER!" The chief blared.

"Calvin..." Hobbes said, worried.

But Calvin had a look of braveness on his face. He saw a construction site, and took a ramp to lose the cops.

"We lost him." Said a cop over a walkie talkie.

The chief threw his hat on the ground and groaned.

* * *

At the mall, Duplicate 7 and Metal Calvin had finished robbing most of their favorite stores, and were hiding under a bridge.

Duplicate 7 was chowing down on some Ben and Jerry's from the food court.

Metal Calvin looked disgusted.

"Yech, boss. Keep the food down." he said.

"No." Duplicate 7 said, with his mouth full.

After Duplicate 7 finished his third canister of Cherry Garcia, he and Metal Calvin went to the top of the bridge, where there were cops waiting, aiming their guns.

"Alright, freeze!" said a cop. "You have the right to remain silent!"

"Ya think I'll do that?" Duplicate 7 said, sarcastically.

He then went under the cop's legs and slid across the hood of a car.

 _Feel the passion ingite me, feel the burn inside me._

The cops responded quickly, and got to their cars.

 _Won't let this life, just pass me by._

Duplicate 7, determined to get the cops off his tail, turned Metal Calvin into a boat and sped away in the river.

 _Gonna start a revolution, gonna call myself hero._

The cops all turned around, and they drove in the direction of the boat.

 _Take back control, yeah, here I go!_

The cops kept shooting at the boat, but the boat was bullet-proof, so all the shots at it did nothing.

"Ha ha! Catch me if you can't suckers!" Duplicate 7 said as he speed up the boat so fast the cops lost sight.

"That's the second time today!" The Police Chief fumed as he slammed on his car horn in anger. But then, he saw the boat coming back, fast.

Why? Because the boat police had started chasing after Duplicate 7.

"Wait, we have boat police?" One cop said surprised.

"Yeah, since I complained to the mayor about not having one 5 years ago." The Chief said as he started up his car and joined the chase.

"Off all things to come after me... the boat police!" Duplicate 7 fumed as he kept the boat going.

But the police's boat caught up to Duplicate 7's boat, and it got onto the back of it, and tapped it, causing Duplicate 7's boat to crash back into the bridge, competently destroying the boat, and sent Duplicate 7 flying into the air, onto the top of a construction site.

"Ugh, that hurt..." Duplicate 7 groaned.

"So! Your the idiot that's been trying to get me arrested!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes marched toward Duplicate 7.

"Oh, well hello there Calvin. Long time no see..." Duplicate 7 said grinning evilly as he got up.

"Who are you? And why do you look like me?" Calvin said confused.

"Fool! I'm Duplicate 7! Don't you remember?"

"We had a sixth duplicate?" Hobbes said confused.

"No! We only had five!" Calvin said.

"I was an incomplete duplicate you idiots!" Duplicate 7 boomed.

"But then how did you turn-"

"That's a story for your funerals!" Duplicate 7 said cutting off Hobbes as he used his powers to fling Calvin and Hobbes off the site, but they managed to catch on to a ladder on a building.

"How does that dupe get super powers, and I'm still a weakling?!" Calvin said annoyed as he climbed up the ladder with Hobbes.

"Well, he probably didn't get your stupidity..." Hobbes said as they got to the rooftop. Calvin glared at him.

"Or some other strange phenomenon..." Hobbes muttered.

Then, Duplicate 7 managed to fly over to Calvin and Hobbes, and tried to hurl a giant rock at them, but missed. Calvin and Hobbes then seized the chance and attacked Duplicate 7, pouncing him and beating him up, but Duplicate 7 got back up and used his powers. The fight went on and on, over all the rooftops in the city, until the ended up back where they started at the construction sight.

"Give up fools! I'm too powerful for you two!" Duplicate 7 cried out as he hurled a car at the two, but missed.

"Ugh, its hopeless, we'll never be able to defeat him..." Hobbes said panting heavily.

"Well there's gotta be someway!" Calvin said as thought, and then came up with an idea. He whispered it to Hobbes.

The two split up, with Hobbes charging at Duplicate 7, managing to pounce him, and the two began to wrestle.

Calvin on the other hand, ran to a nearby crane, that had a large steel pole on it, and got in the crane, since nobody was using it, and began to swing it around like crazy.

Meanwhile, Hobbes continued to wrestle with Duplicate 7, until Duplicate 7 finally broke free, and began to use a blasting power that would blow Hobbes away, but Hobbes managed to deflect it, and it blasted Duplicate 7 into the window of the crane.

"Darn it! I wanted to use the pole to knock you out!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Well guess what? Your not taking me down, I'm taking you down..." Duplicate 7 hissed as he used his powers to cause the crane to come crashing down.

Calvin quickly jumped out, and gave a punch to Duplicate 7 while he was off guard. Duplicate 7 lunged after Calvin, but Calvin kicked Duplicate 7 into the pole, knocking Duplicate 7 unconscious, right before the crane crashed to the ground. Calvin escaped unharmed.

"We did it!" Hobbes said as he came down from the site and gave Calvin a high-five.

"Ya! I outsmarted myself! I'm smarter than him!" Calvin said proudly.

But then, the pole rolled slightly, Duplicate 7 emerged, badly beaten.

"Oh, so you thought I was done didn't you? Well guess what? This time, you won't get away from me, because I'm going to use my biggest, hardest, guaranteed to kill you-"

Duplicate 7 never got to finish his sentence, as the cops surrounded him and arrested him.

"It wasn't me! It was the kid with the tiger! I'm telling you!" Duplicate 7 said as he was put in the back of a paddy wagon.

"Oh sure, we've got plenty of hard evidence against you kid. I'm sure Judge Lazarus will be very interested to hear your excuses at your trial." The Chief said.

"I'll get you for this Calvin! And your tiger to! I WILL! I WILL I WILL I WILL!" Duplicate 7 screamed as the paddy wagon drove off.

"So, solid day?" Calvin asked to Hobbes.

"As always." Hobbes replied back.

"Well, lets head back home ol' buddy, there's still some stuff we got to get fixed their as well." Calvin said as he got the wagon.

"Indeed, time to put this Duplicate 7 nonsense to rest." Hobbes said as he pushed the wagon to start them back out.

"Yeah, I doubt we'll have to deal with him again anytime soon!" Calvin said happily.

Well, they may be done with him for now, but he'll back for revenge sometime in the future.

Or at least not until next season.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Miss Wormwood: Kathryn Hahn**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 ** _Special Guest Stars:_**

 ** _Duplicate 7: Ralph Macchio_**

 ** _The Police Chief: Bradley Cooper_**

 ** _The Cop: Kevin James_**

* * *

 **Next episode: 12A-G.A.A.C! Attack!-Calvin learns that Susie has started her own club, G.A.A.C. (Girls Alliance Against Calvin) and decides to go to great lengths to get the club destroyed. (This won't take over a month to get out, I promise)**


	21. 12A: GAAC! Attack!

_**G.A.A.C! Attack!**_ **-Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot:** **Calvin learns that Susie has started her own club, G.A.A.C. (Girls Alliance Against Calvin) and decides to go to great lengths to get the club destroyed.**

* * *

"This meeting of the G.R.O.S.S. will come to order! With Dictator for Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes presiding!" Calvin boomed as he called another G.R.O.S.S. meeting to order.

"I still say this could've waited until 10 am..." Hobbes muttered groggily.

"Oh shut up and read the minutes from the last meeting furball." Calvin said, not caring about what Hobbes had to say.

"Of course..." Hobbes said grumbling as he grabbed the notes.

"8:45 am, Dictator for Life calls meeting to order to aviod impending bad weather. President and First Tiger proposes postponing the meeting, but Dictator for Life refuses. 8:46 am, Dictator for Life orders immediate attack against G.R.O.S.S. Public Enemy Number 1, Susie Derkins, demanding water balloons, a nuclear bomb, a tank, and a SWAT vehicle. President and First Tiger disagrees with weapon choice, offers better solution."

"Well, you told me just to stick to the water balloons! If we want to eradicate Susie, we need better weapons!" Calvin said annoyed.

"8:48 am, Dictator for Life overreacts and gives 10 demerits for no reason. 8:49 am, Philosophical discussion."

"NO REASON?! YOUR IDEAS WERE PATHETIC! I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GIVE YOU DEMERITS!"

"8:54 am, thunderstorms starts, Dictator for Life runs into the house like a baby and calls meeting."

"THAT DOES IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR LIES!"

"Lies?! It's the truth!" Hobbes said.

"Shut up fleabag! For disrespecting me and making me look bad in the minutes, and for questioning my brilliance, you get 40 demerits!" Calvin said as he scribbled them down in the club notebook.

"You didn't even let me mention the part about G.A.A.C." Hobbes remarked.

"G.A.A.C? What's that? Some new top secret government group?" Calvin asked confused.

"This meeting of the Girls Alliance Against Calvin will come to order!" An all too-familiar voice to Calvin said.

Calvin grabbed the binoculars looked to see Susie and her friend Candace, along with Mr. Bun at Susie's back porch with milk and cookies, while sitting on some lounge chairs, holding a meeting.

"Today on the agenda, we will discuss ways how to get revenge on Calvin!" Susie said.

"Hear! Hear!" Candace said.

"This is an atrocity! I actually have a club to complete with now! I can't let G.A.A.C. be better than my club! Besides, my name is more clever, and I made mine first! So that automatically makes me better than any other club!" Calvin said.

"Well you never bring milk and cookies to our meetings." Hobbes remarked.

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"For suggesting we copy the enemy, you get 25 demerits, plus another 50 for failing to inform your superior of a threat to G.R.O.S.S." Calvin said as he scribbled it down in the club notebook. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Forget whatever we had planned on the agenda today! Our new agenda is to eradicate G.A.A.C. from existence! Then ship those dumb girls off to a Siberian Gulag!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Don't you think the 2nd part of that plan is a little unrealistic?" Hobbes asked, trying to make Calvin's plan at least slightly realistic.

"Well, I suppose you're right... maybe I could just ship them off to Alcatraz instead! That would be easier and cheaper!" Calvin said. Hobbes groaned.

Meanwhile, Susie and Candace were thinking of ways to get payback on Calvin.

"Maybe we could try getting that stuffed tiger of his, then we set up a trap for him and then he'll get it good!" Candace said.

"Hmm, that's not a bad idea... I've gotten a hold of that tiger before, so that part could be easy..." Susie said in agreement.

The two girls were then suddenly met with a bombardment of water balloons.

"Calvin you baloney brain!" Susie yelled as Calvin emerged.

"Ha! Take that you slimy girls! Maybe this will teach you to surrender now!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Surrender to what?" Candace asked confused.

"You mean you didn't get what that bombardment was for?" Calvin asked.

"Um, to annoy us?" Susie guessed.

"No you idiots! Its a deceleration of war! My club versus your pathetic club! But I'll come out on top! And then I'll be seen as history's most greatest, highest, most-"

Calvin never finished his sentence as Susie and Candace grabbed their water guns and started squirting at Calvin like mad. Calvin made a hasty retreat back to the G.R.O.S.S. tree house.

"How did the deceleration of war go?" Hobbes asked jokingly as Calvin climbed up soaked.

"Shut up and help me think of plans furball." Calvin said grumbling.

 _ **One hour later...**_

"Any luck finding Mr. Bun?" Susie asked to Candace, she shrugged. The two had been looking for Mr. Bun for the last ten minutes, to no avail.

"Hey, what's that over there?" Candace asked as she saw an unmarked envelope. The two went over and opened up. It was from Calvin.

 _Dear slimy girls,_

 _As an act of G.R.O.S.S, Hobbes and I have kidnapped Susie's precious little Mr. Bun. If you ever want to see the comatose rabbit ever again, pay us $200, and we'll give him back to you with no harm._

 _Sincerely, Dictator for Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes_

"Get the super-soakers." Susie grumbled. Candace nodded and scurried off.

"What a great club!" Calvin said triumphantly as he and Hobbes relaxed in the tree house, with Mr. Bun tied up to a tree branch.

"How do you think you'll spend _your_ $100?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know yet, I'll probably blow it all on candy and comic books or something like that." Calvin replied.

"Oh Calvin! We got your money!" Susie called out as she and Candace approached the G.R.O.S.S. tree house.

"Good! You got our money! Lets see those greenbacks!'" Calvin said happily as he looked down at the two.

"Come down with Mr. Bun first, _then_ we'll give you the $200." Candace said.

"Fine..." Calvin grumbled as he untied Mr. Bun and brought him down to Susie and Candace.

But when Calvin gave Mr. Bun to Susie, the two girls pulled out their super-soakers and started spraying like mad at Calvin.

"ACKTPH! GET AWAY FROM ME! HOBBES! DO SOMETHING!" Calvin yelled as he tried to avoid the attacks and tried to chase the girls down, which only resulted in Calvin ramming into the tree. He then climbed back up fuming.

"Well, it could've been worse..." Hobbes said. Calvin glared at him and pulled out the club notebook, Hobbes sighed.

"You get 15 demerits for not volunteering yourself to go down their and get the money yourself, plus another 40 for not mauling them when you had the chance, and another 60 for not doing anything to protect your superior." Calvin said as he scribbled down the demerits in the notebook.

"Well, that's your only _plan_ you've come up with so far, and it failed pretty badly." Hobbes said.

"Well, I'm going to put an end to this. They may have won the battle, but I will win the war..."

"You mean we?"

"Shut up fleabag."

And so, Calvin (with the occasional reluctant help from Hobbes) came up with many plans to try and defeat the girls, but G.A.A.C. kept on prevailing, which left Calvin complaining and giving out Hobbes demerits like there was no tomorrow.

Eventually, Calvin became fed up, and he devised a plan that he didn't even tell Hobbes, and eventually emerged all dirty.

"What happened to _you_?" Hobbes asked surprised to see Calvin all dirty.

"None of your business, you've already gotten over a thousand demerits today, so don't get yourself even more." Calvin said as he grabbed two water balloons and left.

Susie, Candace, and Mr. Bun were relaxing at Susie's back porch when the two girls got hit by water balloons with paint and rocks in them.

"AIIE! CALVIN! WE'RE TELLING!" Susie screamed.

"I'd like to see you try!" Calvin called back.

But unfortunately for Calvin, Susie was coming toward him, and fast.

Candace ran to tell Calvin's Mom, while Susie chased after Calvin. Calvin took drastic measures and started climbing up to the roof of the house, but Susie did as well much to his horror, and Susie then lunged at Calvin and started beating him out.

"OW! HEY! LEGGO! JUST GIVE UP AND WE CAN END THIS WAR ALREADY!" Calvin yelled as he tried to break free.

"Not until you give up you creep!" Susie yelled as the two continued to fight into all the mud on Calvin's roof.

Then, when Candace rang the doorbell to Calvin's house, all the mud and other junk started moving, and it quickly ended up going off the roof, with Calvin and Susie in it fighting.

Calvin, Susie, and Candace found themselves covered in mud head to toe, with the front yard covered in mud and other random trash.

"What on earth was that?!" Calvin's Mom said as she ran to open the front door to see what all the noise was, and to see the giant mess in the front of the house.

"Uh, hi mom!" Calvin said nervously.

 _ **"CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"**_ Calvin's Mom screamed.

"Uh-oh..." Calvin muttered.

"Calvin, what on earth is this mess! I want an explanation this instant!" Calvin's Mom yelled.

"Uh, it was their fault! Susie's friend caused all this by springing the trap!" Calvin said pointing at Candace.

"Well _you_ threw water balloons with rocks and paint in them!" Susie yelled.

And so, the four of them continued to argue, Hobbes was watching all this from Calvin's room.

"Well, I guess this brings an end to the one day war!" Hobbes chuckled as he went back to drawing mustaches in Calvin's comic books.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 _ **Special Guest Star:**_

 _ **Candace: Rachel Weisz**_

* * *

 **Next episode: 12B-Night of the Killer Bicycle-Calvin's Killer Bicycle attempts to haunt Calvin while he's asleep. (Halloween Special!)**


	22. 12B: Night of the Killer Bicycle

**Happy Halloween! Here's the Halloween special! My hope is to get the season done within the next few weeks!**

* * *

 _ **Night of the Killer Bicycle-**_ **Written by NMMacc18**

* * *

 **Plot: Calvin's Killer Bicycle attempts to haunt Calvin while he's asleep.**

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes trudged into their bed, exhausted and with their stomach's hurting.

"Ugh, told you we shouldn't of ate all of the Halloween candy tonight..." Hobbes groaned as he trudged into bed.

"Well there's still like a third left of it, so I don't see why you should be complaining..." Calvin groaned as he got in bed.

"Okay true that, we'll just have the rest in the morning or something..." Hobbes said groggily as he fell asleep.

"Yeah, that'll go well with some Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs..." Calvin said as he fell asleep, planning on getting a good night sleep.

However, he would be getting anything but that.

Calvin's parents were in the living room quietly reading, when they heard the door creak.

"What was that?" Calvin's Mom asked, looking up from her book.

"I don't know, probably nothing." Calvin's Dad said, not paying any attention to the noise.

So they went back to reading, while something else crept into the house, unnoticed.

It was the Killer Bicycle.

It quietly began to creep into the house, trying to remember where the stairs had been. He had only been up them once before, many years ago.

"Are you sure you're not hearing anything dear? I feel like something got in the house." Calvin's Mom said as she continued to hear the squeaks of the bike.

"I haven't really heard anything, but I'll check." Calvin's Dad said sighing as he got up and looked around, and was shocked to see that the Killer Bicycle had made its way into the kitchen.

"Uh, you didn't happen to see Calvin at all since he went to bed did you?" Calvin's Dad asked.

"No, why?" Mom asked.

"Well, his bike somehow got into the kitchen..." Dad said.

Mom sighed, she didn't even want to know how it got in the house.

Dad then put the bike back in the garage, and then started upstairs to get ready for bed, Mom then followed.

"Did you want to try those noise-cancelling ear plugs you got at the pharmacy tonight?" Mom asked.

"Sure, that way we can get a good night's sleep, and not have to put up with any of Calvin's strange sleep antics for once." Dad said chuckling.

As soon as Mom and Dad went to bed, with their noise-cancelling ear plugs, they were sound asleep, they couldn't hear anything at all.

They didn't even hear the Killer Bicycle busting its way back into the house, and slowly making its way up the stairs to Calvin's room.

The Killer Bicycle rammed Calvin's bedroom door open. Calvin and Hobbes were fast asleep, and didn't hear it coming in, slowly coming closer, and closer to the two.

Then, just when the Killer Bicycle was planning to strike, a voice chirped out from under the bed.

"Maurice! What smells like oil in here?! Did that kid go as a mechanic for Halloween?!" One of the monsters boomed.

"Beats me Winslow, it just started to smell!" The other monster went.

This caused Calvin and Hobbes to suddenly wake up.

"Monsters!" The two yelled in panic.

Then, they heard the closet door slam shut.

"What was that?" Hobbes asked.

"I-I don't know..." Calvin said frightened.

"Do you think the monsters decided to try sleeping in the closet?" Hobbes asked.

"Nah, the only monsters that are in closets are the ones from Monsters Inc. Plus, we would've seen all the drooling on the floor." Calvin replied.

"True that." Hobbes said in agreement.

"Well, I'm going to look to see what's in there, even if it kills me!" Calvin said triumphantly as he marched toward the closet. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Then, when Calvin opened the door, his eyes widened when he saw the Killer Bicycle. It lunged at Calvin, but Calvin dodged it quickly.

"GAH! ITS THE KILLER BICYCLE! DO SOMETHING HOBBES! BITE IT! BITE IT!" Calvin said screaming in panic as he grabbed a baseball bat and swung at the bike, but it dodged the attack and Calvin ended up hitting Hobbes in the face with the bat.

"Nice swing Miguel Cabrera..." Hobbes grumbled.

"Well sorry! I didn't think it was going to dodge that!" Calvin said in his defense.

Then, the Killer Bicycle lunged at Calvin, but Calvin grabbed onto one of the handles and started kicking the bike. The bike then tried to speed off, but Hobbes sprang into action and shut the bedroom door to prevent it from getting out of the room.

"Ha! Looks like its the end of the bike trail for you sucker! Now give up!" Calvin said at the bike.

But the Killer Bicycle did a wheelie, and zoomed toward Calvin's bed, but Hobbes grabbed the baseball bat and swung it at the bike, causing Calvin to get flung off and land on his bed.

Hobbes then tossed the bat to Calvin, who then swung at the bike when it charged at him, but the killer bicycle knocked the bat out of Calvin's hands, and the bat ended up breaking the lamp in Calvin's room.

"I think we should be extremely thankful that your parents haven't come and see what's going on right now." Hobbes said as he looked at the broken lamp.

The bike lunged at Calvin, and Calvin began to wrestle the bike. However, they ended up breaking the window in Calvin's room, and they continued to fight, until Calvin managed to gain control of the bike and managed to get enough strength to fling the bike off the roof. Calvin then climbed back into his room from the window, which was now shattered in pieces on the roof.

"Well, that's one problem out of the way. So how are we going to prevent all the cold air from getting in?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know, why don't we use a sheet or something?" Calvin suggested.

"Eh, worth a shot." Hobbes replied.

So, the two grabbed one of Calvin's bed sheets, and used it to cover up the broken window, and the room became warmer after that.

"Finally, no Killer Bicycle to harass us, so we can get some sleep..." Calvin said happily as he and Hobbes went back to sleep.

You figured the Killer Bicycle was done for after that huh?

Well if you thought that, you were wrong, the Killer Bicycle always comes back.

The Killer Bicycle managed to get back on its two wheels, and then proceeded to go back into the house, and crept up the stairs once again. Slowly, it made its way back into Calvin's room.

Without making a sound, the bike crept in slowly, and neared the two once again, but then, the monsters ruined the bike's plans for a surprise attack.

"Geez Maurice! There's that oil smell again!" The first monster said.

"That kid HAD to have gone as an auto mechanic!" The second monster said.

Calvin and Hobbes were jolted awake by this, and saw the bike.

"KILL IT!" Calvin screamed as he and Hobbes lunged at the Killer Bicycle, trying to put an end to its terror.

But the Killer Bicycle then managed to get Calvin on him, and then sped out of the room, with Calvin holding on for dear life, screaming.

The bike went downstairs and drove like crazy through the entire house, with Calvin trying to stop it, but only caused him to get hurt even more.

Hobbes even tried to stop it, but it was no use.

The Killer Bicycle then zoomed back upstairs to Calvin's room, and made the room a huge mess, with Calvin and Hobbes doing everything they could to stop it.

Then, the Bicycle then zoomed back downstairs again, but while it was in the kitchen, Calvin managed to hop off, and he and Hobbes managed to corner the bike in the kitchen.

"Ha! You're done for now! Its two against one! So we have the advantage!" Calvin said proudly.

"Um, its been two against one this whole time, he's just been better than us." Hobbes remarked.

"Shut up." Calvin said coldly.

The Killer Bicycle lunged at the two, managed to get Calvin on it again, and taking off, but Hobbes managed to use his claws to puncture the tires, and the bike began to slow down, but it still was managed to outsmart the two.

After a few more minutes of this happening, Calvin then managed to get control of the steering, and tried to steer it outside, but while it was zipping through the kitchen, one of the tires popped, causing Calvin to fling into one of the kitchen cabinets, knocking him unconscious, and the Killer Bicycle defeated.

"Calvin? You alright?" Hobbes said as he looked over Calvin, and felt his pulse.

"Eh, he'll live sleeping down here for the rest of the night. I get a nice comfy bed all to myself!" Hobbes said happily as he went back upstairs to Calvin's room.

 _ **The next morning...**_

Calvin's Parents came down for breakfast early next morning, and were horrified to see the whole house a gigantic mess.

"What on earth happened?! Did we get robbed again?!" Mom said panicked.

"Nonsense, everything is still here, just a mess... And why is there tire tracks all over the place?!" Dad said as the two went into the kitchen to find an unconscious Calvin and a broken bicycle.

"CALVIN!" They both yelled, Calvin jumped up.

"What on earth happened to this house?!" Dad said.

"It was that darn bicycle! It literally came into the house, and attacked me and Hobbes! We were fighting it for forever it seemed! Until one of the tires blew and caused me to hit one of the cabinets and made me unconscious that is... Didn't you hear ANYTHING at all?!"

"Actually no, we were using these new noise-cancelling ear buds you use for when you sleep." Mom explained.

"Which worked quite well by the way." Dad remarked.

Before Calvin could angrily respond, he ran up to the sink and began throwing up.

That's why you should never have too much Halloween candy in one sitting kids.

Calvin's parents both groaned.

"Forget asking questions. Lets just get this cleaned up and act like this never happened..." Mom said sighing.

"Agreed." Dad said in agreement.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Monsters: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad: Paul Rudd**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 13A: _Foodunnit?-_ When a food fight breaks out in the cafeteria, and all the food is stolen as well, Calvin becomes Tracer Bullet to determine the culprit. **


	23. 13A: Foodunnit?

_**Foodunnit?-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot:** **When a food fight breaks out in the cafeteria, and all the food is stolen as well, Calvin becomes Tracer Bullet to determine the culprit.**

* * *

One normal day, the Superintendent was in his office, drinking some tea, listening to some relaxing music, and doing some work. He was totally relaxed, thinking that the rest of the day would be nice, with no interruptions whatsoever.

Then, the phone rang. He sighed, and grabbed the phone.

"Hello. Superintendent here... Hmm... What?! Food stolen?! Uh-huh...Mmm-hmm, WHAT?! FOOD FIGHT?!"

At the very instant, the Superintendent hung up the phone, and zoomed to his car and sped off to Bill Watterson Elementary School. When he got there, he stormed into the school and straight to the cafeteria, slamming both doors open.

 _ **"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_ He boomed as he stormed in, only to see several kids and teachers covered in food looking at him.

"Well, this got awkward fast..." He muttered to himself before walking away. He then stormed to the Teacher's Lounge and slammed open the door.

 _ **"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_ He boomed, only to realize he was yelling into a room with nobody in it.

"Third time better be a charm..." He grumbled as he stormed to Principal Spittle's office.

 _ **"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_ He boomed as he slammed open Principal Spittle's office door.

"Oh! Mr. Superintendent! Uh, what brings you here today?" Principal Spittle said surprised.

"You mean to tell me you haven't heard what's going on in the cafeteria?" The Superintendent asked.

Principal Spittle sighed, "Calvin started another uprising?"

"No Spittle! There was a food fight in the cafeteria!" The Superintendent snapped.

"Figures nobody told me, because they'll think I'll have a stroke or something..." Principal Spittle sighed as he and the Superintendent walked down to the cafeteria to see the mess. He groaned loudly.

"Well okay, for starters, who's responsible for starting this mess?" Principal Spittle asked.

"It was Cal-" Susie began to say before realizing Calvin was nowhere in sight.

"I would've blamed twinky by now, but I haven't really seen him at all!" Moe remarked.

Then, Calvin came into the room and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Woah! What happened here?!" He said surprised.

"Oh don't play dumb with us kid, we know you did this!" The Superintendent snapped.

"Oh, so if there's a food fight, you automatically blame me now? What country am I living in?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Not to mention someone stole all the food as well!" A lunch lady yelled.

"Just fess up kid, and maybe I won't suspend you for more than a month." The Superintendent said.

Then, Calvin and the Superintendent got into an argument over who started it all, until Principal Spittle finally got tired of it.

"ENOUGH! Look Calvin, if you weren't in the lunch room, then where were you?" Principal Spittle asked.

"I was in the bathroom! I had diarrhea from this horrendous food they serve us! I'm pretty sure people in prison get better meals than we do!" Calvin snapped.

Principal Spittle and the Superintendent sighed.

"Well, we could believe you, but we can't just take your word for it." The Superintendent said.

"What about the new security cameras? Shouldn't those be able to help us figure out who started it?" Miss Wormwood said.

"That's a brilliant idea! Let's look right now! But what time did this whole mess start?" Principal Spittle asked.

"It was 11:47! I remember it exactly!" The lunch lady said.

Calvin, Principal Spittle, and the Superintendent walked down to the room with the security cameras in it, and Calvin began to look through to clear his name.

 _It was another baffling case, almost like a murder, but not quite. A food fight had broken out in the mess hall at the local school, and the food gone as well. Of course, the two bosses somehow think I, Tracer Bullet caused this mess... But I was about to prove them wrong..._

"Ha! See? I left the lunchroom at 11:45, and the hallway cameras prove I was in the bathroom the entire time! So I win this round suckers!" Calvin said triumphantly as he showed the footage to the two.

They both sighed.

"Well, since we know it obviously wasn't you who started it, then who did?" The Superintendent asked.

"How about this. Calvin and I will go back to the lunchroom to get some more evidence, while you work the security cameras to see if you can find anything." Principal Spittle said.

The Superintendent nodded and went right to work. Calvin and Principal Spittle went back to the cafeteria.

 _Now that I had cleared my name, I was heading back to the scene of the crime to find clues, anything would help make an arrest or something. There was a few people I had in mind that may have started it. I was thinking either the Derkins Dame or that future-con, but something told me that it probably wasn't going to be either of them..._

Calvin and Principal Spittle entered the cafeteria again, and they looked around.

"OK, who did this?" asked Calvin.

"We don't know. It was just a random person that wasn't you." a kid told him.

"Spithead, is there any security cameras in the kitchen?" Calvin asked.

"Not that I know of."

"That's a useful piece of information." Calvin grumbled.

 _I scoured the kitchen, looking for any sort of thing that would lead to a culprit, but of course, there was nothing that I could find._

"What kind of school IS this?! You don't even have a security camera in the kitchen! You're so old fashioned! Like for gosh sakes, put them in every room in the school! That way we could've solved this case already!" Calvin ranted to Principal Spittle.

"Well Calvin, its not like this school has billions of dollars to spend on whatever we want..." Principal Spittle said sighing.

"Well do something to make money then!"

Principal Spittle groaned.

"I have a better idea, we split up, maybe that will work. I can use my own brains on my own to figure this out. You can try and figure this out on your own, but I doubt you will anyway." Calvin said as he walked away. Principal Spittle sighed.

Calvin started walking through the hallway, looking to see if there was any clues or anything.

 _I hit the streets, looking for any footprints, fingerprints, any sort of proof could help me out here. But so far, I was getting nowhere._

Then Calvin saw Moe at the water fountain. Calvin then charged at Moe, and the two began to fight, and they ended up shoving each other into Principal Spittle's office, which was left open since Principal Spittle was still trying to figure out the issue himself.

Calvin quickly shut the door and managed to grab a wire to tie Moe up in a chair.

"LET ME OUT TWINKY! I DIDN'T DO NUTTIN' THIS TIME!" Moe yelled as he tried to get out of the chair.

"Relax Moe, I'm just going to ask you a few questions, that's all." Calvin said calmly as he sat down at Principal Spittle's desk.

"Questions? About what?!" Moe asked confused.

"Alright you big galloot, I know you started that food fight in the cafeteria, CONFESS!"

"That's not a question twinky."

"I never said I had to ask questions, I know that you did it, so just confess so you can expelled quicker."

"Well where were you then?" Calvin asked, continuing to get suspicious.

"Well, I WAS in the cafeteria, but then I ran out when it started." Moe explained.

"Why did you run then?"

"Because somebody threw some beef stroganoff at me and I ran to get it out of my eyes." Moe explained.

"Oh, so YOU'RE the one that ran in screaming for a sink! That makes since now!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Yeah, now I proved that I didn't do it. So let me go."

"One other question, did you see anything suspicious at all?" Calvin said as he got down to untie Moe.

"Well, I DID see two guys wearing ski masks walk in, but I thought they were some undercover workers that Principal Spittle brought in." Moe explained.

"Interesting... Alright you can leave." Calvin said as he finished untying Moe.

"About time..." Moe grumbled as he left the office.

 _With some new information from the future-con, I headed back to the scene of the crime to get some more clues and get closer to ending this case._

Calvin went back to the cafeteria, and went to the kitchen where the lunch lady was.

"Hey, is there a lunch lady in here at all?" Calvin called out.

"I'm here!" The lunch lady said as she emerged from the freezer.

"Did you happen to see two guys in ski-masks come in at all?" Calvin asked.

"Uh, not that I remember..." The lunch lady said, trying to think.

"Figures..." Calvin grumbled.

"But if there WAS anyway in here, I don't know why'd they bother stealing all the food as well." The lunch lady said as she looked back at the freezer, which was completely empty due to all the food being stolen during the food fight.

 _The dame had a good point, what kind of people would steal food from a school cafeteria? My mind raced furiously as I tried to fit the pieces into the puzzle. Then, it hit me. The only people dumb enough to do something like that were the goons of that dumb doctor that actually isn't a doctor. But I needed proof..._

"Wait, that's it!" Calvin exclaimed as he raced back to the security room.

 _I hit the streets running as fast I could to the surveillance center. If I could find that proof I needed, this case would be as good as closed._

Calvin made it to the security room, only to find the Superintendent sleeping. Calvin quickly went to work, and started examining the cameras closely.

Then, he found it.

Calvin grinned as he clicked the footage to begin playing, two people in ski-masks snuck into the kitchen. They then discussed how they could pull it off without anyone noticing. Then, the shorter of the two found a pie and tossed it into the cafeteria, while the other yelled out food fight, which led to the whole mess.

 _And with that, I had the evidence to close the case shut. Only skilled detective work by me could've cracked this case._

"YES! PROOF! I KNEW IT WAS THOSE TWO SUCKERS ALL ALONG! HA!" Calvin yelled so loud that the whole school could hear him.

"Huh? What? _**SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_ " The Superintendent yelled in confusion as he was awoken by Calvin.

"Did you find something Calvin?" Principal Spittle asked as he came into the room.

"Yeah! Watch it and be amazed!" Calvin said as he showed the footage of the two people causing the mess.

"Well, now that we got that figured out, how do you suppose we figure out how to catch these two culprits?" The Superintendent asked.

"Its easy you dumbo! They'll be-"

 _ **SCREECH!**_

Calvin, Principal Spittle, and the Superintendent all heard the screeches, but only Calvin was the only one that figured out what it could be to.

"Tell you what, I got to use the bathroom quickly, then I'll tell you." Calvin said as he ran out of the room. The two adults shrugged.

Calvin made his way outside the school to see Hugh and Jack parking their van.

"How much more stuff do you think we'll get Jack?" Hugh asked as he got out of the van.

"Beats me, maybe they have a secret freezer we can steal from!" Jack said excitedly.

"Don't forget about the pie!" Hugh said as he and Jack went to the back of the van to grab their ski-masks, but while they were doing so, Calvin snuck into the drivers' seat, and saw a brick that was in the cup holder for whatever reason, and grabbed it and put it on the gas pedal. Then he grabbed the keys and started the van up.

"Wait, when did our van have a remote start?" Hugh asked.

"Beats me." Jack replied as the two went back to looking for their ski-masks.

Calvin then put the car in drive, and the van quickly sped off, with Hugh and Jack getting flung out of the back.

They watched as the van plowed its way through the playground.

"This can only mean one thing!" Jack exclaimed.

"That our van is haunted by ghosts?" Hugh asked.

"Yep, so we better complain to our insurance agent and demand he adds ghost insurance." Jack replied.

"Great idea Jack!" Hugh said as the two began to stroll off to find their insurance agent.

Meanwhile, Calvin was swerving the van like crazy, trying to control it.

"Perhaps I should've just grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed them then call the cops..." Calvin said as he tried to control it.

Suddenly, the van bounced over a rock and the van went out of control and CRASHED into the cafeteria.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Principal Spittle said as he and the Superintendent ran to the cafeteria to see the new damage caused.

The two adults' jaws dropped as they saw the van that had crashed into the cafeteria. Then, Calvin got out of the van as if nothing had happened.

"I think I found our stolen food." Calvin remarked.

 _ **"SPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_ The Superintendent boomed.

"Well Mr. Superintendent, I'm sure-" Principal Spittle began before being cut off.

"Hey! Calvin's right for once! The stolen food _IS_ in here!" Susie exclaimed as she and a few other kids investigated and saw.

Principal Spittle and the Superintendent came over and looked into the van, to see that the stolen food was indeed in there.

They were both shocked to say the least.

"No need to thank me, just had to use my superior driving skills to get those two out of the picture!" Calvin said proudly as he walked up to the two.

"Well kid, I'm honestly impressed. You alone figured out somehow that two people broke into the school to cause this mess, and then you managed to stop them as well. For this, I'll reward you with whatever you please!" The Superintendent said.

"Er, Mr. Superintendent, that's not a very good-"

"Anything you say? Well lets see here, I want a ticker tape parade, the school to renamed to dedicate myself, promote me to a senior in college so I can be done with school already, a drivers' license, ten million dollars..."

The Superintendent sighed.

"I tried to warn you..." Principal Spittle said.

"I hate this kid..." The Superintendent grumbled as Calvin continued to list off all the things he wanted to be rewarded for solving the mystery.

If you want to call it that.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Tracer Bullet/Kid: Tom Kenny**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 _ **The Superintendent: Dennis Quaid**_

 _ **The Lunch Lady: Kristen Bell**_

 _ **Hugh: James Franco**_

 _ **Jack: Michael J. Fox**_

* * *

 **Next episode: 13B- _Faster Than a Speeding Calvin_ -Calvin joins the school's track team. **


	24. 13B: Faster than a Speeding Calvin

_**Faster than a Speeding Calvin-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

 **Plot: Calvin joins the school's track team.**

It was the end of another day at Bill Watterson Elementary School.

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE STOP THAT BIG BUFFOON!" Calvin screamed through the halls as Moe chased after him.

"YOUR GETTIN' IT GOOD TWINKY!" Moe yelled as he chased after Calvin.

Calvin then ran into Susie, and Moe ran into the both of them, knocking all three of them to the ground. Moe was the first to get up.

"Time to get a walloping of a lifetime twinky." Moe said grumbling as he clenched his fists together.

"NO!" Calvin yelled as he ran off, with Moe in hot pursuit.

Susie sighed, "They'll never learn to get along..Can't say I'm surprised though." She said as she got up and left.

 _ **Meanwhile on the Track Field...**_

"Alright crew, since you've passed tryouts, run a couple laps to show me that I didn't make any mistakes." The Track Coach said as she looked at the kids she had passed for tryouts. The kids took off, but then Calvin and Moe ran onto the field knocking into everyone. Moe kept on falling, while Calvin was getting through everyone and running faster than everyone else somehow.

"Woah, who's THAT kid? He's fast, and he didn't even try out." The Coach said impressed as she noticed Calvin's speed.

"HELP ME!" Calvin yelled.

"Who's he running from? One thing's for sure, we could use him on the team." The Coach said impressed.

"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

"YOUR GONNA GET IT TWINKY! ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

"NEVER!"

Calvin then ran into a soccer goalpost, and Moe ran up to him.

"Time for the biggest walloping you've ever gotten twinky..." Moe said, ready to beat up Calvin.

"NO!" Calvin yelled as he kicked Moe in the face and ran off.

"AAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Moe screamed in pain.

Calvin continued to run until he ran into the coach.

"GAH!" Calvin said shocked.

"Gee there pal. For a guy so small your pretty fast." The Coach said.

"Fast? What are you talking about?" Calvin asked confused.

"You beat all of us and your not even on the team!" A kid said running up, panting.

"What team?" Calvin asked confused.

"Uh.. The track team..." The Coach said.

"Wait, we have a track team?" Calvin said surprised. The Coach face-palmed.

"So what do you say fellas? Should we put this kid on the team?" The Coach asked.

"Yeah, maybe we'll win a state title this year for once." Another kid said.

"How much do I get paid if I join?" Calvin asked.

"Uh, you don't get paid..." The Coach said.

"WHAT?! You don't get paid?! What kind of track team is this?! What good could come out of me joining huh?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Er...Bragging rights, and being recognized I guess..." The Coach said, trying to think of whatever she could think of.

"Hmm, a quick way to fame... I'l join! I'll make Sonic the Hedgehog look like a snail!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"Great! Our first practice is this Saturday!" The Coach said.

"WHAT?! SATURDAY?! ARE YOU INSANE?! WHAT KIND OF MAD WOMAN HAS A SPORTS PRACTICE ON A SATURDAY?! THAT HAS TO GO AGAINST EVERY SINGLE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT I HAVE! WHY ON EARTH DO WE NEED TO HAVE PRACTICE ON A SATURDAY FOR?!" Calvin said furiously.

"Well, we have a meet the next day, and you'll need to be in shape the day before..." The Track Coach said uneasily.

"Well, I guess if it means being able to win. I guess I'll live. Now, to start my training!" Calvin yelled out as he started to run home. The Track Coach sighed.

Eventually, Calvin got home, Hobbes was reading a comic book when Calvin ran into his room.

"Where were you? I waited twenty minutes for you to get home... TWENTY MINUTES! I didn't even get to try out my now pouncing technique thanks to you..." Hobbes said annoyed.

"I know, a walk home from school is half an hour since there weren't any buses or people to let me hitchhike." Calvin said.

"Did Moe chase you again?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah. I got lucky this time, because I ran into the track coach, who is a woman, and she said I could join the track team because I'm super fast I guess." Calvin explained.

"What are you going to do?" Hobbes asked.

"Train! That way I can win it all, then I can use it as a stepping stone to world fame, then I can use that fame to take over the world! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Calvin said maniacally.

"How about you try and set for fame right now, maybe not taking over the world as well?" Hobbes suggested, trying to get Calvin to be somewhat realistic.

"Yeah, your right. With all the fame I can get, I can easily get a good career as a child actor!" Calvin said in agreement. Hobbes facepalmed.

"So how are you going to train?" Hobbes asked curiously.

"That's where YOU come in." Calvin said.

"Oh really?" Hobbes said, grinning evilly.

"Uh oh..." Calvin gulped.

A few minutes later, Calvin and Hobbes were outside, ready to begin training.

"Alright! Ready to train?" Hobbes said ready to go.

"Uh... sure?" Calvin said unsure if he was actually ready to begin track training from Hobbes.

Then, without warning, Hobbes pounced on Calvin.

"You need quicker reflexes than that if you want to even win!" Hobbes remarked.

"WELL YOU COULD GIVE ME A CHANCE YOU FUZZBRAIN!" Calvin said annoyed.

"You don't get chances, you need to be ready all the time." Hobbes shot back.

"Oh please, lets start again." Calvin said grumbling.

Hobbes got up, and then attempted to pounce Calvin again, but this time, Calvin dodged him and ran off.

"Ha! Catch me if you can Hobbes!" Calvin yelled out as he continued to run.

"Oh, I'll get you!" Hobbes called back.

Calvin continued to run, but looked back and noticed that Hobbes had vanished. But then Hobbes came from out of the air and landed on him.

"It took me 1:30 to catch you, not bad if I don't say myself, but it needs improvement..." Hobbes said as he scribbled it down in a notebook.

"This is a track team I'm on you fleabag. I'm not going to have to worry about stuff in the air if all I'm doing it trying to outrun some chumps." Calvin grumbled.

"Well still, you should always be prepared." Hobbes said in his defense.

"I hardly doubt something like that is going to happen." Calvin said.

"Well it COULD..." Hobbes said, trying to be hypothetical.

"Shut up and lets call it a day." Calvin said annoyed as he got up and went inside.

The next day, Calvin ran the entire way home from school, without even stopping.

"Phew! Finally made it!" Calvin said as he stopped his timer as he got home. "Hey! It only took me 22 minutes to get here when I ran the whole way home! That's improvement!" Calvin said proudly.

"Good, now you'll be ready for your next challenge." Hobbes said as he appeared.

"Oh hey Hobbes, so what's this next challenge?" Calvin asked.

"Oh you'll find out in a moment... Have at him!" Hobbes said to something inside.

Then, the Killer Bicycle appeared.

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Calvin screamed as he ran off while the Killer Bicycle chased him.

Eventually, it was Saturday, the day of the practice. Calvin ran to the school, in his school's track uniform.

"This better be good, coming to school on Saturday..." Calvin grumbled.

"So, how are you going to run?" Hobbes asked.

"Easy. Eat three bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and drink a liter of Pepsi." Calvin said confidently.

"Not the best way to stay in shape." Hobbes said sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"Those are the things you need to run at the top speed." Calvin said confidently.

"Good luck, I guess..." Hobbes said as he began to leave.

"Thanks, but I don't think I'll need it." Calvin said as he chugged down a liter of Pepsi. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

After Calvin finished his pre-practice meal, he ran over to the team.

"Alright Calvin you're here! Ready to run?" The Track Coach asked.

"Yeah! I had three bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and a liter of Pepsi! I was born ready!" Calvin said proudly.

The other kids on the team stared at Calvin.

"Hey, you prepare your own way, I prepare my own way." Calvin said in his defense.

"Okay then... Also, what's your last name? I need it for the roster to give to the judges for the meet tomorrow." The Track Coach asked.

"Calvin the Bold." Calvin said proudly.

"Okay... That's a different last name." The Track Coach remarked as she scribbled it down.

"Believe it lady." Calvin said as he walked away, but then came right back. "Oh yeah, what race am I doing?" He asked to the Track Coach.

"Lets see your doing the..." The Track Coach began to say as she shuffled through some papers.

"Look, just don't give me the meters or anything, just tell me how many laps or whatever it is." Calvin said.

"Well, its the last race of the day, its one lap around the track, that's it." The Track Coach said.

"So I have to wait all day?!" Calvin said surprised.

"Afraid so." The Track Coach said. Calvin grumbled and sat on the bench.

After all the races for all the other events had finished, it was finally time for Calvin's race.

"Calvin, Calvin, Calvin, WAKE UP!" The Track Coach said as she tried to wake Calvin up.

Calvin snapped awake.

"I'll kill you, Paul Rudd..." Calvin said coldly.

The Track Coach looked at him strangely.

"You're up for the event." She said.

"About time!" Calvin said as he got up and went to the starting line.

"On your mark...get set...GO!" The Track Coach said, and the race was on.

At the start, Calvin was even with the other kids on his team racing against him, but when they got to the back straightaway of the track, Calvin began to take off, zooming through the track thanks to the energy he had from the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and Pepsi.

Don't ask me how that helped him.

"You're good! You finished that race in 1:29! That's almost a state record!" The Track Coach said impressed.

"YES! BEAT THAT, CHUMPS!" Calvin said proudly. His teammates rolled their eyes.

A few minutes later, the Track Coach gathered the team up and spoke to them.

"Alright, crew. We have our first race tomorrow, and it will be here at Bill Watterson Elementary. We'll be pitted against Jim Davis Elementary. Go home, get some rest, and have fun!" The Track Coach said.

Calvin went home that night confident, that he would be able to win it all. Though Hobbes was still having his doubts.

 _ **The next day...**_

Calvin jogged into the locker room. Only to see that no one is there.

"Huh! I must be here early." Calvin said as he went to his locker and opened it, only to find his stash of cereal and Pepsi missing.

"Where's the food, where's the food, where's the FOOD?" Calvin said panicked as he searched his locker.

Meanwhile, Moe was hauling Calvin's stash in a wagon.

"Heh heh heh. Payback time." Moe said laughing as he pulled the wagon along.

"Coach! Coach, someone stole my energy stuff!" Calvin said panicked as he ran up to the Track Coach.

"Hmm... Have some Gatorade and Powerade. Full of energy. But save it until your event." The Track Coach said as she gave Calvin a bottle of Gatorade and Powerade.

"Well, not my preferred way of getting energy, but alright." Calvin said as he took them, knowing it was his only hope.

Soon, after all the races had been run, it came down to the final one.

"OK, Calvin. Drink up. Your event is up." The Track Coach said as Calvin chugged down the drinks.

"Impressive. Alright. We're tied. Impress me." The Track Coach said.

"Can do." Calvin said confidently.

Calvin went to the starting line, he was going up against a 7-year old named A.J. Robinson.

"And now for the final sprint between Calvin the Bold and A.J. Robinson!" The Announcer boomed.

"Good luck, A.J." Calvin said to A.J.

"Thanks. I'll need it." A.J. said in a cocky matter.

"Uhh yeah..." Calvin said. "What a jerk!" He thought to himself.

"Ready, set, GO!" A Judge said as he blew his starter pistol, and the race was underway.

Calvin got a good start, but A.J. was sticking with him. Calvin didn't have nearly as much energy with the Gatorade and Powerade, but he was still managing to hold a slight lead over A.J.

Soon, they were nearing the finish line, A.J. was beginning to close in on Calvin, but it seemed that Calvin was going to win, but suddenly, Moe spilled the water tank onto the track, causing Calvin to slip and fall, allowing A.J. to win.

"Oww..." Calvin groaned.

"And A.J. Robinson is the winner!" The Announcer boomed, the crowd cheered.

"WHAT?!" Calvin said in shock. He then saw Moe laughing.

"You... YYYYAAAUUUGGGHHH! BANZAI!" Calvin screamed as he lunged at Moe, and the two began to wrestle.

"HEY! STOP FIGHTING, YOU TWO!" The Track Coach said as she ran over to break the two up, the two stopped wrestling.

"Due to Calvin the Bold's actions, he is disqualified from the competition. Jim Davis Elementary wins!" The Announcer boomed, the crowd cheered.

"WHAT?! RIGGED! RIGGED!" Calvin screamed as he started throwing water bottles, towels, even a trash can at the Jim Davis Elementary School runners before the Track Coach dragged him to her office.

"You gave that kid a sprained wrist! What do you have to say for yourself?!" The Track Coach said to Calvin.

"HE SPOILED THE RACE THAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGED TO ME!" Calvin screamed.

"OK, Cal. I know you're upset. But you let me and the entire school down. We were close to winning!" The Track Coach said, trying to get Calvin to see her way.

"IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT DUMB BUTT MOE!" Calvin screamed.

"ENOUGH! Calvin, you are suspended from the track team until further notice." The Track Coach said firmly.

"FINE! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I QUIT! I DIDN'T EVEN GET PAID!" Calvin screamed as he threw his uniform off and threw it at the Track Coach before storming off.

"Thank gosh he's gone. Sheesh, he needs help..." The Track Coach said sighing.

Back at home, Hobbes was reading a comic book in Calvin's room before Calvin barged in fuming.

"I LOST! ALL BECAUSE OF MOE!" Calvin said furiously.

"Moe does track?" Hobbes asked confused.

"NO YOU FUZZBRAIN! HE SPILLED WATER ON THE TRACK, CAUSING ME TO SLIP AND FALL, AND SOME KID NAMED AJ WON! AND HE GOT AWAY WITH IT!" Calvin said continuing to scream.

"Ouch..." Hobbes said wincing.

"AND ON TOP OF THAT, I GOT SUSPENDED FROM THE TEAM! BUT I QUIT ANYWAY SINCE I DIDN'T EVEN GET PAID!" Calvin screamed.

"You mean to say that you actually expect to get paid for being on an elementary school track team? Really?"

"YES! REALLY!"

"You seriously need to understand how sports work it seems..."

"Oh shut up, women can't coach teams for their life anyway." Calvin said annoyed.

"I think your just overreacting." Hobbes said.

"NO I'M NOT!" Calvin yelled.

"He needs professional help..." Hobbes said sighing.

"I DO NOT!" Calvin said as he jumped on Hobbes and the two began to fight.

 _ **Meanwhile...**_

Back at the school, A.J. was in the back waiting for someone. Then, Moe appeared.

"Nice job, A.J." Moe said as he gave A.J. a high-five.

"Thanks. It was worth it, kidnapping that racer and beating Calvin." A.J. said in agreement.

"I know. It was great!" Moe said as the two began to laugh at Calvin's misfortune.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Cast:**

 **Calvin/Kid: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/Announcer/A.J.: Owen Wilson**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 **Susie: Jennifer Lawrence**

 ** _Special Guest Star:_**

 ** _The Track Coach: Elizabeth Banks_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: 14-15: Attack of the Moon Goons (Season Finale!)-When Dr. Scientist crash lands on an unknown planet and is taken hostage by a species of aliens known as "Moon Goons", when he offers to help them take over the world with the Moon Goon king, chaos erupts, and Calvin and Hobbes have to defeat Dr. Scientist and his new allies.**


	25. 14: Attack of the Moon Goons P1

_**Attack of the Moon Goons-**_ **Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo**

* * *

 **Plot:** **When Dr. Scientist crash lands on an unknown planet and is taken hostage by a species of aliens known as "Moon Goons", when he offers to help them take over the world with the Moon Goon king, chaos erupts, and Calvin and Hobbes have to defeat Dr. Scientist and his new ally.**

* * *

 **So since this would be like a one hour episode/TV Movie, or whatever you want to call it, the episode will be split up into two chapters. Just an FYI**

* * *

It was another ordinary day in the lab of Dr. Scientist.

He had been busy working on new inventions, plans and whatnot in his latest attempt to take over the world.

"There! Perfect!" The mad scientist said as he put the finishing touches on his new killer robot.

"Brilliant! Once I start using this baby, I'll be able to take over the world in a couple hours! This is foolproof!" Dr. Scientist said proudly as he got in the robot to touch it out.

He pressed a button to start it, but when he did, the robot started to move, before coming crashing to the ground.

"OH COME ON! EVERY TIME! EVERY STINKIN' TIME SOMETHING HAPPENS! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" Dr. Scientist screamed in anger as he banged on the now destroyed control board.

"Hey boss, what was all that noise?" Hugh asked as he and Jack came into the lab.

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU TWO NINCOMPOOPS?!"

Hugh and Jack shrugged.

"Idiots... My latest device to help me take over the world broke as soon as I tried it out!" Dr. Scientist said annoyed as he explained it to the two.

"Maybe you need to use more scotch tape boss." Jack suggested.

"Oh shut up you fool! Scotch tape isn't going to help my inventions work properly!" Dr. Scientist snapped, "I need something, or someone, to help me take over the world! I've been trying for far too long, and I've just had it with all these failures! I need help! But who?"

"Maybe other forms of intelligent life not on Earth boss?" Hugh suggested.

Dr. Scientist thought about this for a moment. He had never thought about working with an alien species before.

"Hugh, in all the years you and Jack have been my assistants.. That has to be, the GREATEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD OUT OF YOU!" Dr. Scientist boomed happily.

"So how are we going to do that boss?" Jack asked.

"Oh! Uh... I need to think about that... Quick! Pack me a suitcase and get all my weapons and load them into my hover ship!" Dr. Scientist ordered. The two assistants scurried off, and Dr. Scientist grinned evilly.

 _ **A few hours later...**_

"So where are you going on vacation Dad?" Moe asked as he helped Dr. Scientist load up the last of his supplies into his hover ship.

"Well, its not really a vacation son. More of a little trip to find other intelligent life forms that will help me take over the world! Then, the world will soon be ours!" Dr. Scientist explained.

"Cool!" Moe said in agreement.

"Alright now. I think that's everything. Hugh and Jack, you two are in charge while I'm gone, try not to burn the house down. Take good care of Moe as well. I have a schedule printed out for while I'm gone." Dr. Scientist explained.

"How long are you going to be gone for Dad?" Moe asked.

"Eh, probably a week at the most. But don't worry, I'll be checking in every day I'm gone to make sure everything is afloat here." Dr. Scientist replied as he got in his ship.

"See you later! Don't do anything too stupid!" Dr. Scientist called out as he started his hover ship and started off toward space as Moe, Hugh, and Jack looked onward.

 ** _Two hours later..._**

Dr. Scientist was now in the far outreaches of space, looking for a planet that seemed to be inhabited by some sort of life-form that would help him.

"Ugh, its been like two hours now, why haven't I found anything yet?! I knew I should've put that alien life-form tracker in here when I built it!" He said frustrated.

Then, he saw a planet in the distance.

"Hmm, lets see if this one has anything..." Dr. Scientist said as he got closer to the planet.

But then, without warning, his hover ship got shot at, and the hover ship started a crazy downward spiral toward the planet.

"GAH! I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" Dr. Scientist panicked as he tried to find the emergency exit with the evacuation kit.

But before he could make to it, the hover ship crashed into part of a building, and went on a wild ride all through the planet's capital, before eventually coming to a stop in a river. Somehow, he lived.

"Ugh... Wait, I'm alive?" Dr. Scientist said surprised as he got up and inspected the damage on the inside of his hover ship.

"Darn it, most of this stuff won't be able to be fixed... At least I'm alive though..." Dr. Scientist sighed as he busted his way out of the hover ship, only to find himself surrounded by several snow-man like creatures, except they had a moon-ish look to them.

"ALRIGHT! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED ALIEN! PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" The Police Chief of these creatures boomed into a megaphone.

"Oh please you weirdo! You stand no chance against me!"

"Oh really? And dare I ask why?" The Police Chief said into the megaphone.

"Because! I'm Dr. Murdoch Scientist! Evil genius! I've got so many weapons on my hand, I could take this place over in a snap!" Dr. Scientist said triumphantly as he grabbed a laser gun from his lab coat out and pointed it at the Police Chief and fired a shot at him, which missed.

The Police Chief then grabbed his taser out and lunged at Dr. Scientist, who after getting tasered passed out.

"Looks like we got one of them humans on our planet here..." The Police Chief said as he inspected Dr. Scientist.

"What should we do with him Chief? Take him to the death chamber at the castle?" One of the officers asked.

"Nah, he still deserves an unfair trial. Take him to the castle dungeon and book him!" The Chief said.

Two of the officers dragged Dr. Scientist into a paddy wagon and drove off.

 _ **A few more hours later...**_

Dr. Scientist woke up, only to find himself in a small cell.

"What the?! WHERE AM I?!" He screeched.

"You're in the dungeon, that's where." A Guard said.

"WHY?! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU... THINGS?!"

"Let's see here..." The Guard said as he pulled up something on his tablet.

"Okay, you're being charged with destruction of royal property-"

"ROYAL PROPERTY?!" I crashed into that property because my ship got shot down!" Dr. Scientist fumed.

"Everything on our planet is owned by his highness the King." The Guard said.

"A King?! I'm done for..." Dr. Scientist groaned.

"You're also charged with trespassing, entering our planet in an undignified way, being hostile toward law enforcement, and just being plain weird..." The Guard said as he finished reading off all the charges.

"This is blasphemy! I didn't even _DO_ anything yet and I'm already seen as some sort of terrorist! I demand to speak to my lawyer!" Dr. Scientist fumed.

"A what?" The guard said confused.

"A LAWYER YOU SIMPLETON! A PERSON THAT DEFENDS SOMEONE IN A TRIAL DARN IT!"

"Oh sorry sir, we don't use these 'lawyer' people you speak off. You have to defend yourself." The Guard explained.

"WHAT?! Oh well, at least I get a fair jury trial..." Dr. Scientist sighed.

"Uh, we abolished juries decades ago sir. The King decides if your guilty or not." The Guard said.

"OH COME ON! CAN THIS GET ANY WORSE?!" Dr. Scientist screamed.

And unfortunately for him, it did.

Dr. Scientist soon found himself being paraded through the city in stocks as the species threw various object at him.

"I should've just stuck with going to Mars..." Dr. Scientist grumbled.

Soon, he was led into the Royal Courthouse, where the trial was about to begin.

"All rise for the People of Planet Moongoonia v. Dr. Scientist. With his highness, the King presiding." The Bailiff boomed as the King took his seat at his bench. Unlike all the other specimen on the planet, instead of having stick like arms, he had tentacles for arms.

"So, Dr. Murdoch Scientist... do you understand the charges that are being levied against you today?" The King asked.

"Uh, sure?" Dr. Scientist said, not really knowing what to say.

"Excellent. Now please come to the stand where we will ask you questions and see if you're innocent or not." The King ordered.

Dr. Scientist didn't hesitate.

"Okay, lets see here... I was flying along in space on my hover ship, looking for other forms of intelligent life to assist me in my latest attempt to take over the world... Then I randomly got shot at and I crash landed on this uh, planet... and then when I got out of it, I was surrounded by you police force or something, and they tazed me for no reason!" Dr. Scientist ranted.

"You were threatening to attack us! We had every reason to!" The Police Chief yelled out.

"Well the second I got out of my ship, you and your cronies surrounded me and were telling me to surrender and all that junk!"

"We had every reason to!"

And so this back and forth arguing between Dr. Scientist and the Police Chief went on for a few minutes until the King got tired of it.

"Order! Order!" The King boomed as he slammed as gavel, they both stopped.

"Given the evidence and testimony shared today... I hereby find Dr. Murdoch Scientist not guilty on all charges!" The King boomed as he slammed his gavel.

Everyone in the courtroom gasped.

"Phew! Thank gosh!" Dr. Scientist said pleased.

"Oh and Dr. Scientist, come with me." The King motioned to Dr. Scientist.

Dr. Scientist followed along, not knowing what was gong to happen next.

Soon, he found himself at the King's Palace, and into a secret military planning room.

"So, Dr. Scientist, I'm assuming what kind of creatures we are aren't you?" The King asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"Well, we are the Moon Goons, a species that was derived from the Snow Goons." The Moon Goon King explained.

"The Snow Goons?" Dr. Scientist asked confused.

"Yes. You see, the Snow Goons came from the planet Earth, they were ruthless during their short time on the planet, before they met an untimely demise by its creator. Some kid and his tiger I think it was..." The Moon Goon King explained.

Dr. Scientist perked up about this at the mention of a kid and his tiger.

"But one of the snow particles from one of the Snow Goons somehow made its way to space without melting, and eventually landed on this planet, Moongoonia..."

"And that's how your species came to be?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." The Moon Goon King said.

"And about that kid and the tiger... Do you have any pictures of them?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"I think we do. Let me check..." The Moon Goon King said as he typed something on one of the boards. Then came up a picture of Calvin and Hobbes using a hose to freeze the Snow Goons.

"I knew it! I should've known it was those two nincompoops!" Dr. Scientist screeched.

"You _know_ those two?" The Moon Goon King asked surprised.

"Yes! Calvin and Hobbes are these two ninnies that always ruin my plans! I'm tired of it! That's one of the many reasons why I want to take over the world! So I can eradicate those two off the face of the Earth!" Dr. Scientist seethed.

"Well, I don't think they'll have a chance against our forces." The Moon Goon King said.

"How many units do you have?" Dr. Scientist asked curious.

"Oh, about in the millions or so. We've conquered like a dozen planets with them." The Moon Goon King said.

"Well then, shall we plan our attack on Earth then?" Dr. Scientist said grinning.

"Indeed." The Moon Goon King said as the two of them began to laugh maniacally.

* * *

 ** _(Commercial Break)_**

* * *

Dr. Scientist walked up to a podium, and looked at the several units of the Moon Goon Army.

"My fellow Moon Goons! Today, we shall make our biggest takeover ever! By taking over the planet Earth! So I can rule and form an alliance with your planet!" Dr. Scientist boomed.

The Army cheered.

"Today, we will reign supreme! And show that I'm greatest human being ever!"

The Army cheered and applauded.

"Quick now! To your ships! Its time to begin our onslaught!" Dr. Scientist boomed.

Soon, Dr. Scientist and the Moon Goon King were in a gigantic air ship, which was being followed by several other smaller airships.

"This planet will soon be ours Murdoch..." The Moon Goon King said grinning.

"Indeed." Dr. Scientist grinned as he glared down at the Earth as they got closer.

 _ **Meanwhile at a Military HQ...**_

"Colonel Shatner! We have several air ships that are coming into the US!" A General yelled as he got to the Colonel.

"Air ships? From where?!" Colonel Shatner asked.

"I don't know! They're coming from the sky!" The General said.

"The SKY?! Let me see this..." Colonel Shatner grumbled as he turned on his screen to a camera, and his jaw dropped as he saw the air ships continue to move in.

"Good heavens! Get every unit you can across the US after them! We can't let them launch an attack!" Colonel Shatner ordered.

Soon Military units were out and attacking the Moon Goons, but weren't having any luck with shooting them down, but the Moon Goons didn't shoot back surprsiingly.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were at home having a heated game of Calvinball.

"I got the flag of power! Now you can only move around by using your hands! Or paws, or whatever you call them." Calvin yelled.

"Well I'm in the opposite zone! So you have to move around by only using your hands!" Hobbes called out.

"WHAT?! But that's hard for a kid like me!" Calvin protested.

"Well, you should've thought about that when you called it out!" Hobbes said back.

"Fine..." Calvin grumbled as he did a handstand, and attempted to move around, only to fall down, and then got hit by a volleyball that Hobbes threw at him.

"Yes! I win Ja to Loo! Woohoo!" Hobbes said triumphantly.

"Yeah yeah, you got lucky as always..." Calvin grumbled.

"Or maybe its because I'm the greatest Calvinball player ever." Hobbes said grinning.

"Oh please! I made the sport! So that means I'm automatically the best Calvinball player ever!" Calvin shot back.

"I don't think your stats would agree with you." Hobbes said grinning.

"Oh shut up fleabag! Even if the stats don't show I'm still the greatest-"

Calvin never finished his sentence, as a small air ship landed in the yard, and two Moon Goons popped out.

"Is this the place?" The first one asked.

"That's what his Highness told us." The second one said.

"What are those things?" Hobbes whispered to Calvin.

"I don't know, they kinda look like the Snow Goons I made." Calvin whispered back.

Then, the first Moon Goon shot at them, they dodged it.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Calvin said.

"Look bubs, his Highness had a special request from the person he has an alliance with to take over this planet to kill you both, _OR_ you can surrender quietly and come with us!" The second one said.

"No way Jose!" Calvin yelled as he grabbed the volleyball and chucked it at the first moon goon, which took his head off and knocked off the head of the second one as well.

"No! We're decapitated! We're never gonna get that promotion now!" The first one groaned.

Calvin and Hobbes grabbed the two heads and sent them rolling down the street.

"There, glad that's taken care of!" Calvin said happily.

Hobbes was looking inside the air ship, trying to see if there was anything he should show to Calvin, and then saw a piece of paper that shocked him.

"Hey Calvin, you might want to see this.." Hobbes said.

"What is it?" Calvin asked curiously as he went inside the air ship where Hobbes handed him the paper. Calvin read it and was shocked at what he saw.

 _Goal of MG Conquering No. 2642:_

 _Take over Earth, make Dr. Scientist ruler, form alliance._

"So those two things were working with Dr. Scientist?! How could he get anyone to work with him?!" Calvin said shocked.

"Beats me, maybe he has a way with words." Hobbes suggested.

"Look furball. Whatever that dumb doctor is doing now, might have a legitimate chance to actually take over it with whatever help he's getting." Calvin explained.

"But do you think he actually does though?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, whatever alien species he's working with, obviously has some good weaponry..." Calvin said as he looked through the air ship and pressed a button, which opened up a map of where every Moon Goon ship was.

"Woah, they got air ships all over the place!" Hobbes said surprised.

"Yep, looks like its up to us yet again to stop it... Get those weapons and lets go find some of them." Calvin ordered.

"Can't we let someone else do it for once?" Hobbes protested.

"No, because nobody else knows how to beat Dr. Scientist but us." Calvin said.

"Well, you got me there..." Hobbes sighed.

Soon, Calvin and Hobbes were flying in the air ship, trying to track down Dr. Scientist's air ship, or whatever Moon Goon air ship they could find.

They eventually came across one in downtown, where the police and some army men were trying to shoot down the ship to no avail, even with the army having a tank they were shooting at, failed.

"Well, how do you think we'll be able to stop this one?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know! Just press random buttons! That usually works!" Calvin said.

"Not usually..." Hobbes said.

"Just do it!"

Hobbes sighed as he began pressing at random buttons, which caused the air ship to be spitting out random attacks down below, causing Calvin's air ship to get attacked.

"See? Now we're getting attacked as well!" Hobbes said annoyed.

"Not my fault I went for a gamble!" Calvin said in his defense.

Calvin, trying to think of a quick way out of the situation, decided to crash the air ship into the other one, crashing into a store, which was luckily closed at the time.

"Really? That was the best plan you could come up with?" Hobbes said annoyed.

"Yes! And it probably just saved our butts!" Calvin said annoyed.

But then, a Moon Goon bust into the ship.

"Alright, who are you two and what did you do with our men?!" The Moon Goon asked.

Hobbes pounced him and they two wrestled outside of the two air ships for a while, before Hobbes eventually finished off the Moon Goon and returned to the air ship.

"Hey look, I got some laser guns we could use." Hobbes said as he gave Calvin a laser gun.

"Great! Now lets just find another air ship to steal and-"

Calvin never finished his sentence, as he and Hobbes felt themselves being pulled up by some force.

"What's going on?!" Hobbes said shocked.

"I don't know?! We're getting sucked up by some air ship!" Calvin cried out as the two got sucked up into the largest air ship of all, which then sped off and out of sight, with several people shocked at what had just taken place.

 _ **To be continued...**_


	26. 15: Attack of the Moon Goons P2

Calvin and Hobbes were whisked up into the airship, and when they got into it, they found themselves surrounded by several moon goons.

"Alright kid and tiger! Come with us and nobody will get hurt!" One boomed.

"Oh really? And why should I trust you goons anyway? Considering some of your cronies tried to kill me earlier?" Calvin asked.

"Uh, because its what we're paid to do that's what!" Another snapped.

"Should we just go quietly?" Hobbes whispered to Calvin.

"Why should we? We got the weapons!" Calvin whispered back.

"Well, I'd prefer not to become some alien's dinner, so I guess you got me there." Hobbes whispered back.

"Cmon now, just stand up and we can get this done quicker." A third Moon Goon said.

Calvin and Hobbes began to stand up, but then drawed their weapons and started firing at the Moon Goons surrounding them by random.

Some were directly hit by the lasers, while others ran for their lives screaming, eventually it was just Calvin and Hobbes.

"You know, for a species that was apparently built off the snow goons, some of them are surprisingly wimpy." Calvin remarked.

"Obviously some of them didn't come with courage or bravery." Hobbes said in agreement.

So, the two started walking through the air ship, shooting anyone that tried to attack them.

"Sheesh, this place is huge! That stupid lunatic has got to be around here somewhere!" Calvin stated.

"You'd think they would at least have a map or something." Hobbes remarked.

Eventually, the two found a food court.

"Huh! This place has a food court! I could go for something right now in all honesty." Calvin said as his stomach grumbled.

"But do you really think we should trust this place? Everyone on this ship probably knows that we're here to take this whole plan down. I don't think we should take the risk." Hobbes replied.

"Nonsense Hobbes, if there's one person in this entire place who's clueless to all of this, its some clueless teenager working here." Calvin said back.

"Hey tourists! Care for some free food?" A teenage Moon Goon called out from one of the counters.

"Told ya!" Calvin said proudly as he ran over. Hobbes sighed and followed.

"So, what do you got to eat here?" Hobbes asked to the Moon Goon.

"Well for you talking tiger, we have all this tuna and salmon for you that you might like." The Moon Goon said as he gave Hobbes a tray with tuna and salmon on it.

"OH BOY! MY BABIES! COME TO YOUR DADDY!" Hobbes said gleefully as he began to narf down the tuna and salmon. Calvin looked on in disgust.

"And for you young sir, we have a ready to go bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, with marshmallows in them, complete with milk that's already purple!" The Moon Goon said as he gave Calvin a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

"Alright! Now we're talking!" Calvin said happily as he began to eat his cereal, only he began to become drowsy, and then suddenly went black.

"Calvin? You alright?" Hobbes asked as he came over to see if Calvin was alright.

"Oh he'll be alright talking tiger, our food helps people get some well-needed rest." The Moon Goon said.

"Well-needed rest? Wait, does that mean-"

Hobbes never finished his sentence as he blacked out as well.

The Moon Goon grinned, and grabbed his walkie-talkie.

"The kid and tiger have been knocked out by the food, you can come and take them to the extermination room now." The Moon Goon replied.

"Excellent! I'll be sure his Highness gives you a grand promotion for taking down my worst enemies!" Dr. Scientist replied in glee.

 **. . .**

Hobbes woke up, to see a gigantic laser gun staring in his face. He tried to move, but realized he was trapped on a stretcher James Bond style.

"Ugh... Just what I wanted to deal with..." Hobbes grumbled as he tried to get his way out of his restraints, to no avail.

"Ah, so you're that tiger Murdoch is always talking about..." The Moon Goon King said as he strolled into the room Hobbes was in.

"Yes, and I have a name as well to you know." Hobbes replied coldly.

"Oh yeah, uh... what was it... Thomas?"

"No."

"John?"

"No."

"Bill?"

"No."

"Socrates?"

"The name is Hobbes you idiot." Hobbes said annoyed, tired of the Moon Goon King's guesses.

"Oh, well exCUSE me!" The Moon Goon King replied sarcastically.

"Look bud, what do you want with me? I can make this a lot easier for you if you start talking." Hobbes asked.

"Nothing much, just killing you off James Bond style so I can help Murdoch take over the world." The Moon Goon King replied calmly.

"Of course..." Hobbes said groaning.

"Well, I'll go see how that kid Murdoch hates is up yet, and you;ll be in here alone while that laser splits you in half. Good day!" The Moon Goon King said as he left and shut the door to the room.

Then, the laser started.

"Crud, I got to think fast..." Hobbes mumbled as he tried to figure out how to break free.

He then tried moving himself around, which caused the stretcher to break and fall to the ground, breaking Hobbes' restraints.

"Well, that was easier than I thought... Now to find Calvin..." Hobbes said as he rushed out of the room and starting searching for the room Calvin might be in.

Eventually, he saw a room with a window, where the laser was getting dangerously close to Calvin.

Hobbes tried to open the door, but it was locked.

So, he went to drastic measures, and broke open the window, and actually pounced the laser gun, destroying it, saving Calvin.

"Took you long enough." Calvin said as Hobbes freed Calvin from his restraints.

"Why, your welcome, not like I was trapped as well or anything." Hobbes replied sarcastically.

"Well you're a tiger! You should've been able to have broken out of that far sooner!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes found their laser guns and proceeded to hunt down for the Moon Goon King.

"Well, not like I'm going to try and break out while the Moon Goon King is chatting with me." Hobbes replied in his defense.

"Okay, you got me there." Calvin said, submitting defeat.

"Now all we got to do is find those two idiots behind this whole mess, defeat them, and then I'm going home to have some tuna." Hobbes said.

"Well first, we gotta find where the Moon Goon King is even at. It'll probably take hours..." Calvin said.

"Or, we could fight him now since his control room is right in front of you." Hobbes said, pointing to a door that said:

 ** _Control Room of the Moon Goon King_**

 _ **DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PERMISSION!**_

"Oh, should've seen that before. Heh." Calvin replied.

"Obviously... So how are we gonna get in?" Hobbes asked.

"Hmm... I got it!" Calvin said as he backed up.

"What are you doing?" Hobbes asked confused.

"FOR G.R.O.S.S. INEQUALITY!" Calvin screamed at the top of his lungs as he charged toward the door head first.

And then, unsurprisingly, he rammed his head into the steel door.

Hobbes then used his laser gun, shot it at the fingerprint identification, which allowed the door to open.

"Heh, should've done that instead..." Calvin said as he got up.

"Obviously..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes as they went inside.

"WHO GOES THERE?!" The Moon Goon boomed.

"Your creator, now bow down to me." Calvin replied coolly as he and Hobbes closer approached the Moon Goon King, sitting in his large chair, but was still scaring at a screen.

"Bow down? I don't bow down to anyone, not even who created me..." The Moon Goon King hissed.

"Well, technically I created your... ancestors?" Calvin asked to Hobbes.

"Eh, I guess so." Hobbes said shrugging.

"Fools... Do you really think I give a darn?" The Moon Goon King hissed.

"Uh, yes?" Calvin asked.

Then, the Moon Goon King turned around, and out of nowhere, grabbed a gigantic laser gun and shot it right at Calvin and Hobbes.

 _ **(Commercial Break)**_

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes got up, realizing they had dodged the Moon Goon King's shot.

"CURSES! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?!" The Moon Goon King roared.

"Because I'm better than you, duh." Calvin replied.

"Don't you mean 'we'?" Hobbes asked.

"Shut up." Calvin grumbled.

"ENOUGH! I WILL KILL YOU TWO ONCE AND FOR ALL!" The Moon Goon King screamed as he shot again, and yet again missed.

Calvin and Hobbes launched an onslaught with their laser guns, which hit some vital parts of the airship.

Thee battle raged on, with the Moon Goon King, frustrated with being unable to kill the two, got up.

"IF I CAN'T KILL YOU TWO SITTING DOWN, I'LL JUST STRANGLE YOU WITH MY TENTACLES!" The Moon Goon King roared as he lunged toward Calvin and Hobbes.

This led to wrestling between the three, causing even more damage than before, while the three were shooting their laser guns at each other.

Soon, they had the Moon Goon King at the wall, now resorting to beating him with their guns, after managing to disarm the Moon Goon King.

"YOU WON'T LOSE THIS! I WILL NEVER FALL! NEVER!" The Moon Goon King roared as he grabbed Calvin with his tentacles, and started swinging Calvin in the air.

Calvin saw a small glass box with an orb inside it labeled "Life". While the Moon Goon King was swinging him around, Calvin pointed his laser gun at the glass box, and managed to shoot at it perfectly, which broke the glass, and destroyed the orb.

"WHAT?! NO! NOT THE ORB! NO! THIS CAN'T BE! I CAN'T LOSE TO A KID AND A TIGER! I CAN'T! I'M FADING! FADING!" The Moon Goon King screamed as his face faded away, and was soon nothing than a pile of moon rocks.

"Uh, what just happened?" Hobbes said surprised at what had just happened.

"I think I might've killed off the entire Moon Goon species..." Calvin said as he looked at one of the screens that wasn't broken, which was showing all the Moon Goon airships were crashing to the ground.

 ** _Back on Earth..._**

"Careful! Be ready to shoot if anyone comes out!" A General boomed as he opened one of the fallen air ships, only to find a bunch of moon rocks in it.

"WHAT?! MOON ROCKS?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!" The General screamed in confusion.

 _ **Back with Calvin and Hobbes...**_

"Well ol' buddy, looks like we did it again." Calvin said proudly as he looked at the screen.

"Yep, we once again prevailed over all." Hobbes said in agreement.

But then, Dr. Scientist burst into the room.

"WHAT THE?! NO! HE'S GONE TO! WHY?! WHY?!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he punched the floor in anger.

"Because you teamed up with an unintelligent species of aliens." Calvin replied.

"YOU KILLED THEM?! WHAT?! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" Dr. Scientist screamed.

"It is actually." Hobbes replied.

Then, a large boom was heard.

The three looked at the board, to see that the air ship was on a crash course toward Earth.

"IF YOU THINK YOU'RE TAKING ME DOWN TO, THEN YOU'VE BEEN SORELY MISTAKEN!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he ran off. Calvin and Hobbes gave chase to him.

Dr. Scientist managed to find an emergency escape air ship, and proceeded to get into it and blasted off.

Calvin and Hobbes also found one themselves and hopped in and began to give chase to Dr. Scientist, as the main air ship was slowly getting destroyed.

"THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME! I'LL STILL GET RID OF THEM AT THE LEAST!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he started launching an onslaught of attacks at Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes managed to dodge them all however.

"I'll get this thing closer to the nutcase, and you start launching weapons at him." Calvin ordered.

"On it." Hobbes replied as he started launching attacks at Dr. Scientist, which hindered him slightly, and allowed Calvin and Hobbes to catch up to him, and they soon were side by side, ramming into each others ships.

"YOUR DEAD CALVIN!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he launched a laser at Calvin's ship, hitting it directly, and started to rapidly decline down toward earth.

However, Calvin and Hobbes managed to jump out quick enough and onto Dr. Scientist's ship, unbeknownst to him.

"YES! YESSSS! FINALLY! I KILLED THEM BOTH! YES! I STILL SOMEWHAT SUCCEEDED!" Dr. Scientist screamed in glee.

But then, Calvin and Hobbes busted in.

"Think again sucker." Calvin replied coolly.

"OH COME ON!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he lunged out of his seat and at the two.

The three than got into a huge wrestling match, and tried beating each other up with whatever they could find.

During the fight, Hobbes' tail accidentally hit a button, causing a laser to be shot out of Dr. Scientist's ship, which by pure luck, struck Dr. Scientist's ship, which began a massive decline toward Earth, and fast.

"CALVIN! WE GOT TO GET OUTTA HERE!" Hobbes yelled as he opened an emergency hatch.

Hobbes jumped out, but right when Calvin was going to, Dr. Scientist dragged him back in.

"CALVIN! NO!" Hobbes cried out as the ship continued to fall.

Calvin and Dr. Scientist continued to fight each other.

"YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS HARDER ON YOURSELF?!" Calvin screamed as he punched Dr. Scientist.

"BECAUSE! IF I'M GOING DOWN, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!" Dr. Scientist screeched as the two continued to fight.

The ship was now going headfirst down to earth, and once it made it to Earth, it was going over a thousand miles per hour. Calvin and Dr. Scientist were holding onto the seat, and the ship eventually made its way to Chagrin Falls to the city triangle, where it crashed, and exploded.

Hobbes fell right near the wreckage, and looked onward.

"Calvin..." Hobbes said sighing, with tears in his eyes, knowing that Calvin probably died upon impact. His best friend, taken from him, by a mad scientist seeking vengeance.

But then, something started to move from the wreckage.

And out popped Calvin, alive and well.

"CALVIN! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Hobbes said as he ran over and squeezed Calvin.

"Gah! Of course I am you sissy! I didn't even get hurt! Just got piled up by the wreckage!" Calvin said as he tried to free himself from Hobbes' hug.

"In any other case, you probably would've died." Hobbes replied.

"I know, but I can live through anything, can't I?" Calvin asked.

"True that." Hobbes said with a chuckle.

Almost immediately, several squad cars, SWAT vehicles, the Military, CIA, FBI, and Government cars were at the scene.

"Well, we seem to have some wreckage from that air ship that apparently sucked your kid up, I don't think he survived from that." Colonel Shatner said as he led Calvin's Parents to the wreckage, where Calvin and Hobbes were still near by.

"Hey! I'm right here! Alive and well!" Calvin cried.

"CALVIN!" Calvin's Parents said in delight as they ran up and hugged their son.

"Ow! Hey! Give me some air would ya?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Where were you? We were worried sick!" Calvin's Mom asked.

"Oh, Hobbes and I got kidnapped by this weird species of the Moon Goons, I think they're the ancestors of the Snow Goons I made before. Their ruler had problems." Calvin began to explain.

"'Had'?" Calvin's Dad asked confused.

"I killed off the entire species that I guess was being controlled by some little orb thingy. He turned into moon rocks." Calvin explained.

Calvin's Parents looked at Calvin confused.

"Well, your son may have a point, as the airships we found only had moon rocks in them." Colonel Shatner replied.

"Um, okay?" Dad said confused.

"Oh come on! You people act like I'm making this stuff up? It happened! Those things were dumb enough to team up with Dr. Scientist!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Who's Dr. Scientist?" Mom asked confused.

"Moe's wacko father! He nearly killed me by trapping me in his escape ship on the way down here!" Calvin said.

Then, Dr. Scientist emerged from the wreckage shaken.

"YOU! THERE YOU ARE! THIS TIME! I'M GETTING YOU FOR SURE!" Dr. Scientist yelled as he began to limp before Calvin.

But he got tackled by the police and handcuffed before he got too far.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CALVIN! AND YOUR TIGER TO! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he was loaded into the paddy wagon.

"Yeah, we'll see what Judge Lazarus has to say about that." Colonel Shatner said as he shut the door, and the paddy wagon took off.

"Well, that was... interesting..." Mom said.

"Yeah... Why don't we go home and have some pizza Calvin? You can tell us about your... escapade..." Dad said as the two began to walk away.

"We'll catch up in a second!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes looked at the wreckage.

"Well Hobbes, there lies the remains of the Moon Goon empire." Calvin said.

"Yep, which was taken down by a six year old, and a tiger." Hobbes replied.

"Well, I'd say that was quite the adventure, haven't had one quite like that in a while." Calvin said.

"Yeah, who knows what adventure we'll go on next..." Hobbes replied.

"Well its a magical world out there Hobbes ol' buddy, who knows what could happen next! For all we know, we could be exposing that the government is being run by aliens, and we have to stop them from taking over the world!" Calvin said.

"Maybe something not as crazy as that..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but still. We won't know what's coming next for us. But I'm sure we'll find out soon. Now come on, lets go home and have some pizza!" Calvin said as he ran to catch up with his parents, as Hobbes followed.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Calvin/Teenage Moon Goon: Tom Kenny**

 **Hobbes/General/Moon Goons: Owen Wilson**

 **Mom: Scarlett Johansson**

 **Dad/Moon Goons: Paul Rudd**

 **Moe: Jeremy Irons**

 _ **Special Guest Stars:**_

 ** _Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood_**

 ** _The Moon Goon King: Matt Damon_**

 ** _The Colonel: William Shatner_**

 ** _Hugh: James Franco_**

 ** _Jack: Michael J. Fox_**

* * *

 **One more chapter left! That being the bonus chapter! Coming real soon!**


	27. Bonus Chapter

**Well guys, it looks like the first season of The Calvin and Hobbes Show is finally complete.**

 **However, before we label this fanfic as complete, here's a bonus chapter with some goodies you guys might like!**

* * *

 **Character Bios (For the new additions to the cast):**

 _ **Dr. Murdoch Zenith Scientist (Voiced by Elijah Wood):** Dr. Scientist is an evil genius, who wants nothing more than to have total world domination. He is shown to have incredible skill in building robots, tanks, gigantic robots, weapons, and many other things. Despite his evil intentions, he is shown to have a soft side, as he is shown to deeply care about Moe. Dr. Scientist usually tends to pull off his plots perfectly, but a small mis-step usually causes his plans to be ruined by Calvin and Hobbes. He is also shown to have a bad temper, which can usually lead to bouts of insanity which cause his plans to fail even worse because of this._

 _ **The Superintendent (Voiced by Dennis Quaid):** The Superintendent, as his name suggests, is the Superintendent of Calvin's school district. He is a firm believer of everyone getting a good education, and nothing stops him from trying to make improvments to make his district better. He is shown to to run the district with an iron fist, as he wants to make sure everything is right at all times, and is shown to not show any reluctance when attempting to expel someone (usually Calvin) though does lay back occasionally. He is shown to be easily angered when things aren't exactly the way he wants them to, and/or when Calvin or someone else is up to crazy antics. A running gag is that he'll burst into any room without warning and yelling, "SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" even if Principal Spittle isn't in the room. Prior to becoming Superintendent, he was Principal of Bill Watterson Elementary School before getting promoted, to which he made Principal Spittle the Principal._

 _ **Hugh (Voiced by James Franco):**_ _One of Dr. Scientist's assistants. While Hugh is clearly to be as dumb as his partner, Jack. He is the one that normally shows the occasional somewhat more intelligence than Jack._

 ** _Jack (Voiced by Michael J. Fox):_** _Dr. Scientist's other assistant. Jack is normally shown to make dumber decisions than Hugh occasionally._

 _ **Duplicate 7 (Voiced by Ralph Macchio):** An incomplete duplicate of Calvin created long ago, and somehow transmogrified himself back into a human, and is bent on killing Calvin and Hobbes. He is shown to have a high intellect like Dr. Scientist, and even posses strange super powers. How did this stuff all happen? Who knows!_

* * *

 **Scrapped Episode Ideas/Plots/Etc.**

 _ **Technical**_ ** _Father_ -The only true episode of Season One that was completely cancelled. Basically what was going to happen was Calvin's Dad has a mid-life crisis, and after recovering from it, he decides to become a basketball referee. After his first few games go bad, Calvin suggests he gets some help, to which he ends up getting help from retired NBA referee Joey Crawford, which leads to Dad's games going even worse. I had written like maybe 1/4 of it before canning it, as I was having trouble coming up with material to write for this episode, and so was JaJaLoo, so I decided just to forget about this one and replace it with Tuna Heist. **

_**Hotel**_ _Calvin_ **-Originally, the plot was going to be way different. Instead of using an invention to make the hotel, Calvin and Hobbes were simply going to move furniture around and stuff like that and call it a Hotel. They manage to get people to book a "room" from Hobbes standing on the side of the road advertising it, and then chaos would follow, and Calvin would get desperate and call Anthony Melchiorri from "Hotel Impossible" to help save it. I scrapped this plot because I realized it would've gotten really ridiculous, so I just let JaJaLoo write most of the episode instead.**

 _ **The Superintendent-**_ **I think at one point, I was planning on having Hobbes be in the episode somehow. It wasn't until I had finished writing the episode that I realized I didn't even put Hobbes in it at all, and I couldn't really find any good spot to put him, so yeah.**

* * *

 **A few Trailers (In Script Form):**

 _Season One Promo:_

 _Narrator: Coming this fall to Nickelodeon..._

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes in shadows)_

 _Narrator: A comic strip that was seen by many as "The last great newspaper comic strip"..._

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes in shadows riding the wagon, before flying off a cliff and a splash is heard)_

 _Hobbes: Great! Now my fur is going to be all wet! All thanks to your idiotic driving!_

 _Calvin: Oh come on! Its always MY fault when something goes wrong!_

 _Narrator: The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Coming this fall!_

 _Calvin: Be sure to watch The Calvin Show when it comes out! I'm going to make BILLIONS off this show!_

 _Hobbes: Woah, woah, woah. Its The Hobbes Show! I'm the star! Not you!_

 _(Calvin and Hobbes start arguing)_

 _Narrator: Technically, its called The Calvin AND Hobbes Show..._

 _Calvin: Well my name comes first! So that means I'm the star of the show, and you're my dinky incompetent sidekick!_

 _Hobbes: Why you little..._

 _(Calvin and Hobbes start fighting, commercial ends)_

 _Commercial for Calvin the Bus Driver:_

 _Narrator: On the next episode of The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Calvin finds a new line of work!_

 _Bus Driver: Ugh... I really shouldn't of eaten that breakfast burrito..._

 _(Shows Calvin sneaking up to the drivers' seat)_

 _Kid: Hey! Your not the bus driver!_

 _Calvin: Well I am now, so get used to it!_

 _(Shows Calvin driving the bus like crazy, with the police chasing him)_

 _Susie: Just surrender Calvin!_

 _Calvin: Never! Calvin the Bold never admits defeat!_

 _Narrator: Will Calvin escape? Find out on The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Friday night at 7! Only on Nick!_

 _Commercial for Calvinpardy!:_

 _Narrator: On the next episode of The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Calvin's Dad is going on Jeopardy!_

 _Dad: I got picked to go on Jeopardy!_

 _(Calvin bursts into his room)_

 _Calvin: Hobbes! Dad got picked to go on Jeopardy!_

 _Hobbes: What did he do? Tell the contestant coordinators that it would build character if they put him on the show?_

 _(Calvin and Hobbes laugh)_

 _Narrator: But there's a catch..._

 _Calvin: You think I'm just going to sit here while Dad goes on Jeopardy!?_

 _Hobbes: Uhh..._

 _(Cuts to Calvin on the Jeopardy! Set)_

 _Calvin: Lebron James! Uh... Who is Johnny Manzel? What is Citizen Cane?_

 _Alex Trebek: That is correct!_

 _Calvin: Ha! In your face!_

 _Hobbes: Oh boy..._

 _Narrator: Featuring special guest star Alex Trebek as himself! Will Calvin manage to win big on Jeopardy!?_

 _Hobbes: Probably not._

 _Narrator: Find out on an all new episode of The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Friday Night at 7! Only on Nick!_

 _Commercial for Attack of the Moon Goons:_

 _Narrator: On the one hour season finale for The Calvin and Hobbes Show, Dr. Scientist has teamed up with some aliens to help him take over the world._

 _Dr. Scientist: This can't possibly fail!_

 _Moon Goon King: I see the start of a beautiful alliance once we take over Earth Murdoch..._

 _Narrator: But these aren't your ordinary aliens..._

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes dodging shots from the Moon Goons)_

 _Hobbes: What are those things?_

 _Calvin: I don't know... They look like the Snow Goons..._

 _(Shows a montage of Calvin and Hobbes battling the various Moon Goons)_

 _Narrator: Will Calvin and Hobbes prevail?_

 _Dr. Scientist: I WILL NOT LOSE THIS!_

 _Narrator: Find out on the season finale of The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Friday night at 7! Only on Nick!_

 _And for our last trailer, a Season 2 promo:_

 _Narrator: Guess whose back again for another season full of adventure, chaos, and lots more?_

 _Dr. Scientist: ME! I AM!_

 _Narrator: Yeah, not exactly you doc._

 _Dr. Scientist: WHAT?!_

 _(Calvin and Hobbes land on top of Dr. Scientist)_

 _Calvin: That's right! We're back suckers! You miss us?_

 _Hobbes: In all honesty, I doubt anyone did._

 _Calvin: Shut up fleabag._

 _(Instrumental of "Jump Up Super Star!" begins to play)_

 _Narrator: Calvin and Hobbes are back again for another season full of adventure!_

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes swinging through a jungle, screaming)_

 _Narrator: Excitement!_

 _(Shows Calvin trying to control a cruise ship)_

 _Hobbes: Calvin! I don't think this is working!_

 _Calvin: Well duh! Come and help me you sissy instead of laying there!_

 _Hobbes: I'm trying to prevent myself from being flung all over the ship!_

 _Narrator: Danger!_

 _(Shows Calvin battling Dr. Scientist with light sabers)_

 _Calvin: Give it up old man! You have no chance against me!_

 _Dr. Scientist: OLD?! How dare you call me old! I'll make sure your triple dead for that!_

 _Calvin: That makes no sense at all!_

 _Narrator: Thrills!_

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes riding the wagon, trying to outrun a gigantic wave)_

 _Narrator: Fight enemies that have teamed up!_

 _Duplicate 7: So what do you say? Team up?_

 _Dr. Scientist: Team up indeed Dupe! (Shakes Duplicate 7's hand)_

 _Calvin: Aw crud._

 _Narrator: Romance!_

 _Calvin: HOLD THE PHONE! THERE'S NO ROMANCE IN THIS SHOW AT ALL WHATSOEVER!_

 _Narrator: Oops, sorry about that..._

 _Calvin: Obviously..._

 _Hobbes: He doesn't understand love yet..._

 _Calvin: Shut up fleabag!_

 _Narrator: Thrilling chases!_

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes being chased by Dr. Scientist and Duplicate 7)_

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes being chased by Principal Spittle and the Superintendent)_

 _(Shows Calvin and Hobbes being chased by a giant boulder)_

 _Narrator: And much more!_

 _Hobbes: Calvin!_

 _Mom: CALVIN!_

 _Dad: CAAAALVIIN!_

 _Susie: CALVIN!_

 _Moe: TWINKY!_

 _Miss Wormwood: CALVIN!_

 _Principal Spittle: CALVIN!_

 _Rosalyn: CALVIN!_

 _Duplicate 7: Calvin..._

 _Dr. Scientist: CALVIN!_

 _The Superintendent: SPIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!_

 _(Shows a bunch of people looking at the Superintendent)_

 _Superintendent: This probably wasn't the best place to yell that in public..._

 _Narrator: The Calvin and Hobbes Show! Season 2! Coming soon to Nick!_

 _Calvin: And make sure to watch it, or you're demoted to club imbecile in G.R.O.S.S!_

* * *

 **We'd like to thank everyone that has read this fic. At the time of this being posed, this fic has been read over 2,000 times, and hopefully that number will grow over time. Stay tuned, because Season Two is coming soon!**

 **- _NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo_**

* * *

 **Next Episode: _Calvin and Hobbes' Day Off-_ Calvin and Hobbes try to take the day off Ferris Bueller style, but chaos ensues.**


End file.
